top of page
  • Writer's pictureJulie Y Barris

8 Ideas To Say "I Love You" To Your Spouse Without Actually Saying It

Who wouldn't appreciate these sweet gestures?

Saying "I love you" is overrated. We say that all the time. We say that to our parents, we say that to our friends... when it comes to expressing love towards your significant other whom you decided to marry against all odds (maybe not always like that but still), it's got to be more than just saying the regular "I luv u", right? While your spouse might very much appreciate those very words, in order to maintain that spark in your marriage it will take a bit more work. So, here are 8 ideas for you to try out with your spouse (they could all be well received or some might work better than other) that could potentially enhance that special magic between you.

Idea #1: Make their favorite morning beverage for them

Whether your spouse is a coffee person or tea lover, you know their morning routine. They can't live without their favorite beverage. Although they might be used to preparing it themselves, it's extra sweet when someone else does it for them. So the next time you have a moment to spare, you can surprise them with a cup of your specially made, home-brewed coffee/tea prepared just the way they like it.

Idea #2: Prepare lunch for them

Sometimes, nothing feels quite as heartwarming (literally) for your spouse as to eat the lunch you spent time to prep for them. Whether it be food to bring to work or a lunch break at home, it is extra tasty sometimes even uplifting especially when they haven't had a good start to the day. This could even act as a much-appreciated cheer factor when your spouse desperately needs a special boost of energy.

Idea #3: Remind them that they are special

When you've been together for so long, it's easy to forget how you ended up together in the first place. It's not that you are not in love anymore, but because of the busy life you lead, you forget to remember those head-over-heels feelings. By casually reminding your spouse the little things you love about them, for example, "hey, I've always thought it was cute how you pick out all the mushrooms in a pizza before you eat it", something light and endearing such as that, you light up their heart (even if only for a passing moment) without even knowing you did.

Idea #4: Ask them about their day

With your baby tucked into bed, it's a precious time you get to spend with your spouse alone. Spend a moment to find out how they are. Sometimes a day can get hard and lonely (even if you are both home the whole day). By expressing that you care about your other half's emotional state, you are letting them know they can turn to you and ultimately you become their safe space, a home within the home you live in that they want to come to at the end of the day.

Idea #5: Give them a feet rub or back massage

Physical touches create a deeper level of intimacy between you and your spouse. Sometimes a day can feel so long that all they want at the end of it is to lay down and take a nap (can you imagine those long hours of being on your feet). As your spouse approaches that couch, you can offer to give them a message. Even just for 15 minutes can do wonders for your relationship.

Idea #6: Give them space

You might think it's crazy to leave your spouse alone especially after a long day apart, but you can't be more wrong. Many of us need time to unwind after a long day at work, and all we want is a moment of quiet where we won't be needed or bothered. By offering your spouse this personal time for them to do just that, you are letting them know you understand the importance of having your own time and space, even just for 30 minutes.

Idea #7: Take over the role of being the primary caregiver for your child

Now, I'm not saying to do this permanently, especially not when you have a job aside from being a parent yourself, but sometimes being the main caregiver for your baby can be more stressful than your regular day job. So when you offer to take over that role for a while, even if only for an hour after work, you are a lifesaver to your spouse. They will value this more than you can think.

Idea #8: Do the thing they love to do with them

Riding a bike might not be your thing, but being involved in an activity your other half loves such as biking is a great way for them to share with you their passion in life before you came along. Whether it be baking or watching their favorite TV shows, by your willingness to give and accept a little, you are gaining a deeper love connection unique between you and your spouse that money can't buy.

Final thoughts

These ideas are great, although sometimes saying the sweet nothings to your spouse might just triumph over all of them, and that's okay. Finding out what works in order for you to communicate love for one another during this crazy time is what's important. Some people connect deeply through physical touches, some are more into the written words, and some are more touched by the actual gestures. By understanding each other's likes and dislikes and be curious always, that fire you share will never burn out.

What other way of saying "I love you" have you tried with your spouse? Share with us in the comments below.


Julie Y. Barris

Founder | Chief Editor | Advice Guru of Moody Melon Magazine

I am an author, artist, entrepreneur, and a graphic designer with a unique vision to contribute to the world one idea at a time. Besides creating and inventing things, I’m also fascinated by the human mind. I enjoy helping others help themselves by giving them advice on family and relationship matters.


Need advice? Ask away!

#Shoutout to your LOVE!

Post on the 1st of each month.

Went on an awkward date? Tell us about it.

Bookmarks Giveaway!

Screenshot 2022-12-30 at 4.01.30 PM.png
Screenshot 2022-12-30 at 4.01.35 PM.png

Never Miss a New Post.

bottom of page