Julie Y Barris
First Date Etiquettes: Guide To Successfully Scoring A Second Date
10 secret tips to impress your date so they will want to go out with you again.
Dating is hard. I get it. Apart from having to deal with the #nervousness of going on a first date, you still have to worry about whether you would give a big enough #impression to grant you that #seconddate. While some of you might think showing up as your regular self is good enough, that could not be more wrong. No one is perfect, and I'm saying you don't have to be either. But impressing someone you #fancy does require you to put in some work. So, here are 10 secret tips you may find useful to have in the back of your mind as you go out with your #specialsomeone for the first time.
Tip #1 - Dress to impress
You can show up to a date in your regular jogger outfit or baggy clothes, but don't be surprised if your date suddenly decides to end the dinner early. Sometimes #dressingup doesn't mean you are trying to be someone else, it just means that you are putting effort into a special occasion. Doing so, your date would in turn feel they are special to you. I'm not telling you to wear your formal suit and a tie to dinner (although some places may require you to before they let you in), but rather to wear something that makes you appear more #chic and #sharp without looking like you are trying too hard, and hence a button-down shirt with straight jeans, or a black/red dress.
Tip #2 - Don't be tardy
Showing up to a date late can be a huge turn off, especially on a first date. It gives people the impression that you don't care or that you are too cool to be on time. Of course, I know sometimes being late isn't in our control. But if you know you are going to be 20 minutes late, you need to call or text to let your date know. Don't ever be more than 10 to 15 minutes late without having a #goodreason. And if you really can't help being that late, you should think about #rescheduling, provided that you give your date enough time to respond so they aren't already at the restaurant waiting for you.
"Sometimes dressing up doesn't mean you are trying to be someone else, it just means that you are putting effort into a special occasion."
Tip #3 - Don't order a big meal
Feeling hungry? I'll take 3 cheese burgers and a large fries pleaseeee! If you ever consider ordering a heavy meal like that on a first date, scratch that thought right here right now. Even if you were starving you say? Yes, even if you are starving. Going on a #firstdate isn't about the food you order or about taking care of your stomach. It's about taking care of your date and using the #opportunity to get to know them. I'm not asking you to just settle with a salad or soup (unless that is your usual appetite) and have your stomach growl the whole time you engage in your chat, but something more #manageable as a regular adult portion.
Tip #4 - Be a good listener
So everything's going well thus far and then your date starts to open up to you. It's important to not take that for granted. When they begin to talk about their hobbies, their viewpoint in life, or even just their daily routine, be attentive. Look them in the eyes when they speak to you and smile gently. If you feel #adventurous, you can even respond to what they are saying with a sense of humor but not to the point that it feels as if you are making fun of them. The key is, you want to come off as someone who pays attention to the people that are important to you. It's a #goodquality to have, believe me.
Tip #5 - Be curious of your date
Just sitting there and listening like a puppy dog isn't going to be enough to make the date. You have to show that you are curious about that person. After all, they need to know that you are #interested! So ask them some #relevant questions periodically as they tell you about themselves. These questions have to be just enough to carry on the conversation but not #intrusive in a way that make your date feel #uncomfortable. If they prefer not to answer them, that's okay, don't #stress it. Absolutely do NOT be on your phone checking messages. It's smart to put it away in your bag or at least have it on #silentmode during the entire course of your meeting.
Tip #6 - Be truthful with your what you tell them
If you are a 50-year-old person looking like you are in your 30s, #congratulations! But even though you are proud of that seemingly eternal youth, you shouldn't lie about your age. You shouldn't lie about anything in fact to a person when you are trying to see whether they are a #match to you. It's not good to start a #relationship with a lie in any given situation. Now if they never ask, that's a different story. There are some #importantfacts about yourself that are best to make known on the first date however. Such as if you have kids of your own, or if you are #divorced, got laid off from work etc. You should always be truthful when it comes to talking about yourself.
"You want to come off as someone who pays attention to the people that are important to you."
Tip #7 - Be attentive to their needs
Let's say the waiter mixed up your date's drink. I don't mean to tell you to yell at him for your date, rather, take that as an opportunity to show your #manners and #class. Trust me, as you are #interacting with another human being other than your date, they are taking note. If you are polite to the waiter and ask him kindly to replace the drink, your date is watching; and if you instead talk behind the waiter's back to your date and say how dumb he is to get the order wrong, your date notes that too. So while it's a nice move, be aware of yourself as you show your #attentiveness towards your date.
Tip #8 - Be positive
No one likes a #downer. Even if a close family member of yours just died (you shouldn't even be on a date then!) you should never let your dejected self be the focus. Remember, your date is just starting to get to know you. You don't want them to think you are all negative from the start. It's difficult to change someone's #perspective of you once that's been established, and you would be surprised how quickly that's done on a first date. So if you want that second date, try to aim for giving off a #positivevibe.
Tip #9 - Offer to pay the bill
This is especially useful when you are the one who chose the location for your meeting. Offering to pay for your date's meal or drink can be a really nice gesture but don't force it. If they insist on paying for themselves, let them. Now, this can sometimes #backfire if your date is a career-oriented person. They worked so hard to build their career and thus they might actually feel #privileged to pay for their own needs; some might even get offended if you just go and do it. So it's always good to #askfirst before you put down your credit card to cover the whole bill. You don't want to come off as Mr. Big-Shot when you were just trying to be Mr. Nice.
"If you want that second date, try to aim for giving off a positive vibe."
Tip #10 - Let them know you had a good time
People always appreciate good company. Just as you are doing such a good job being your date's, they want to know they've provided you with a similar #experience too. So if you did have a #goodtime, tell them, don't just think it. It's a good thing to say at the end of a date anyway. Because who knows? If things go well they might just give you a peck on the cheek; or if you are super #lucky, they might just invite you into their place for an after-dinner cup of joe.
If you can't exercise all the 10 tips on your first try, don't worry. Dating is an #art; it takes lots of practice to #master. But attempting to do them right would be a very #goodstart to a healthy, productive dating life.
Julie Y. Barris
Founder | Chief Editor | Advice Guru of Moody Melon Magazine
I am an author, artist, entrepreneur, and a graphic designer with a unique vision to contribute to the world one idea at a time. Besides creating and inventing things, I’m also fascinated by the human mind. I enjoy helping others help themselves by giving them advice on family and relationship matters.