HELP! This Boy I Like Who's Bisexual Has A Crush On My BFF.
How do I come out on top in a love triangle?
Hi Julie,
I have a crush on a boy named Kees. I know he likes me but I figured out he was bi, and I think he might have a crush on my bff Oliver that I'm not sure. Please help.
— Emma
Dear Emma,
Thank you for your question. It's a cute little love triangle you have going on but also sort of a messy one. This is one of those situations where you just won't know for sure until you know, and the only way to know for sure whether he likes you that way is to find out from Kees.
What You Can Do
Use his friends. Not sure how you find out he likes you, but if you are friends with some of his friends, you might be able to use them as the middle man to find out more about how he really feels about your BFF. Who knows? Maybe your instinct is off somehow then you have nothing to worry about. But, choose wisely. His friends are his for some reasons. You don't want to create unnecessary #drama asking favors from people you can't fully trust.
Wait and see. This will require a lot of patience on your part. But if he really likes you likes you, and wants you to be his girlfriend, he will make a move. Certainly, if you can't wait any longer you can also tell him how you feel now, but that will take guts to do. In the meantime, #chill! Play hard to get for a while if you will. Things always have their way of working out at the most #magicaltime. So, why not leave it all up to faith?
You can't make someone fall #inlove. In the case that he likes you but only as a friend, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Wanting what you can't have isn't very smart and insisting to chase after a fruitless outcome might actually lead to #backfiring. Remember that it's easy to make someone dislike you but almost impossible to make someone fall in love with you. The good thing is, you are still young. You will have many more crushes such as this one in the future. When the right one comes along, you will know and you wouldn't even need to try so hard.
"If he really likes you likes you, and wants you to be his girlfriend, he will make a move."
You also can't control on whom he has a crush. Similar to the previous point, if he was to fall in love with your BFF, you can scream "noooooo" at the top of your lungs or yell or cuss, but ultimately, you can't do anything about that either. Well, you can, but Kees might end up hating you if you so choose to do something unhanded. But hey, look on the bright side. Just because he has an interest, doesn't mean Oliver is going to feel the same way. That's just what love is about. It's like an #invisible formula only ones who are seriously #attracted to one another know how to solve, how to work it out.
At the end of the day, either way this is going to go, you should sit back and take a look at the big picture for a moment. This boy has given you this strange but lovely emotion that you will learn to #cherish in time. So don't feel down! Be thankful instead. Even if it does not turn out the way you want, just tell yourself: #sowhat! There are plenty more experiences you will encounter throughout your life, you just have to be brave enough to #embrace them all.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your knight in shining armor.
Your knight in shining armor who?
Your knight in shining armor who loves you as you!
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Julie Y. Barris
Founder | Chief Editor | Advice Guru of Moody Melon Magazine
I am an author, artist, entrepreneur, and a graphic designer with a unique vision to contribute to the world one idea at a time. Besides creating and inventing things, I’m also fascinated by the human mind. I enjoy helping others help themselves by giving them advice on family and relationship matters.
