Part One - Gaming Too Much May Lead To A Game Over For Your Relationship
Duh! But what's the catch?
The princess is always in another castle. There is always a big boss that needs to be taken down to save the world. In the olden days, the save spot was never close by. I get it, the draw to keep playing for another 10 minutes that quickly turns into 20 and soon 30, that was me since childhood.
Sitting for hours at a time until you finally beat the space alien overlord, or finally get first place or achieve the high score is easy to do when you are single. But what happens when you are out at school, work or just grocery shopping and your shining personality attracts someone really special? You want to spend time with this person, and you probably do, but it can be hard for someone who is not a gamer to understand why you are often glued to your TV or phone for hours at a time.
Everyone has their own hobbies, things that help distract from the stresses of school/work/life.
For gamers, video games are an escape - a world where you can be in control. Maybe you like sandbox or simulation style games that you can shape as you see fit. Speedy racing games could up your alley if you like the thrill of finishing in first place. The challenge and precision needed for first person shooters could be your jam.
For me it was role playing games (RPGs). Living in a fantasy realm with powerful magic, oversized swords, impossible to achieve hairstyles and an ultimate evil that must be stopped at all costs. You would find me grinding and questing for hours to level up enough to beat the boss at the end of the dungeon, just to do it all over again for the next one. Once I beat that game I would just move on to another.
"What happens when you are out at school, work or just grocery shopping and your shining personality attracts someone really special? You want to spend time with this person."
There are two big problems with playing RPGs while dating (although it extends to many other kinds of games):
RPGs usually take days to finish. Im talking about 50-100+ hours just to beat the game. That is more than two weeks of playing “only” three hours a day.
RPGs are mostly single player experiences. There are exceptions but many only allow for one person to play at a time. If you are hanging out with your date all they can do is watch, which gets really boring really fast.
Spending so much of your time on something that does not include your significant other (SO) is bound to, at the minimum, cause friction if not create a rift between you two. They will think you would rather live in your pixel world than be with them. It could even reach the point of an ultimatum, your SO or video games.
So what can you do if you are a gamer like me but in a relationship? Is playing video games and dating a zero-sum game? It doesn’t have to be. What I recommend may seem obvious, but it is multiplayer games! If they are willing, incorporating your SO into your hobby makes them feel included. So stay tuned for part two where I dive into how to balance gaming and dating.
Sam Barris
Columnist | Gaming & Tech Whiz of Moody Melon Magazine
I am a game developer, technical engineer, an animator and entrepreneur with a forward-thinking mindset to bring cool ideas into existence. In my free time I read lots of news articles. I enjoy using my knowledge of the IT world to give my opinions on various tech-related topics.
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