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Living and Learning with ADHD: From Struggles to Strengths in College Life

  • Writer: Chris Spadaccino | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
    Chris Spadaccino | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
  • May 10

ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a common neurodevelopmental condition that affects both children and adults. It is characterized by ongoing patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that are more frequent or severe than typically observed in people at a similar stage of development.

Living and Learning with ADHD: From Struggles to Strengths in College Life

Individuals with ADHD may have trouble focusing on tasks, following instructions, organizing activities, or remembering details. They might also be restless, fidgety, or talk excessively, and often act without thinking, interrupt others, or have difficulty waiting their turn. ADHD symptoms usually appear in childhood and can continue into adulthood, impacting academic achievement, work performance, relationships, and self-esteem.

ADHD is presented in three different subtypes:


  • Combined presentation (ADHD-C): Both inattentive and impulsive/hyperactive symptoms

  • Predominantly inattentive presentation (ADHD-I): inattentive but no impulsivity/hyperactivity symptoms

  • Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive presentation (ADHD-HI): impulsive/hyperactive symptoms but not inattentiveness


The disorder is not caused by laziness or lack of intelligence.


ADHD in College Students


Recent studies suggest that approximately 5.6% of U.S. college students report having ADHD, slightly higher than the general population prevalence of 4%. Some international surveys suggest rates may be even higher, with one study indicating roughly 16% of college freshmen worldwide have ADHD.


Many college students navigate higher education while managing ADHD symptoms. The college environment demands skills at a time when students have less external support. Success in college requires self-management skills, which is exactly what ADHD students struggle with the most: planning, prioritizing, and resisting temptations and distractions. Meeting these demands can be overwhelming while struggling with ADHD symptoms.

Research indicates that 58% of students with ADHD have at least one additional condition, while 30% have two or more additional conditions. These often include:


  • Depression and feelings of being overwhelmed

  • Anxiety disorders

  • Learning disabilities

  • Substance use disorders


Despite these obstacles, many students with ADHD are not only coping—they're learning how to thrive, especially with support systems and self-understanding.


The Often-Overlooked Strengths of the ADHD Brain


While ADHD is often characterized by difficulty maintaining attention, many individuals with ADHD experience periods of “hyperfocus,” an ability to concentrate intensely on engaging tasks for extended periods. For college students, this ability can translate to exceptional productivity when channeled toward academic interests.


Additionally, there is a strong link between ADHD and enhanced creativity. Research in the Netherlands involving 1,000 college students demonstrated that people with ADHD tend to be more creative. ADHD brains often make unique connections between pieces of information, leading to innovative thinking and problem-solving. Those with ADHD find themselves exploring various possibilities and making unexpected connections.


These traits, when nurtured, can become not just coping mechanisms, but superpowers.



A Firsthand Account of Inattentiveness and Discovery


Growing up I always had issues of inattentiveness, I found it impossible to focus in class and absorb what the teacher was saying. It felt like I couldn’t pay attention for more than a minute without zoning out, only to come back to the end of the lecture. This left me feeling as if I wasn’t as smart as the other students. Why can they so easily pay attention and understand, while I’m left frantically putting together pieces of broken notes the night before the test, attempting to figure out whatever I can.


I didn’t realize I had ADHD until I learned about the different subtypes. I thought that to have ADHD, I needed to be hyperactive and energetic, until I learned about the inattentive ADHD type. This led to a whole different understanding of myself, being able to embrace those parts and figuring out a way to use them positively.


When Interest Drives Attention


One of the things I have difficulty with is paying attention to tasks that I am uninterested in. For example, in high school, paying attention in math class was nearly impossible because I felt that math was not the career I was going to pursue. I feel this is an experience that others with ADHD can resonate with, but every academic course is important.


I found that I have a passion for psychology, and to pursue that passion, success in every course is crucial. With that thought in mind, while difficult, it helped me relate to those general classes more and greatly improved my focus.


Practical Tools That Changed Everything: My Study Strategy


Also, studying is something I had trouble with, so I came up with a routine that maximized my focus. To truly understand something, I need to break it down from the beginning and understand the why aspect of how something works the way it does. Without that level of structure, it hurts my comprehension ability.


The act of sitting down and studying is also one that requires a lot of effort, but there is a certain routine that I follow that allows me to enter that focus mode and study for several hours.


Here’s what works for me:


  • Firstly, I need to be in a comfortable environment with few distractions, dim the lights, have my phone away, and eliminate any background noise.

  • Secondly, I put on my headphones and listen to music that helps get out the distractions in my head, what works best for me are light 12–100 Hz frequencies.

  • Finally, I’ll use the Pomodoro method, which is a set amount of time (I use 30 minutes) and work until the timer goes off, then take a short break before resuming studying.


Using these methods, I’ve been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA throughout college, an enormous change from my high school struggles. This goes to show: managing ADHD is possible, and success is within reach.


Closing Thoughts


If you are dealing with the struggles of ADHD in school, it doesn’t have to define your potential. This story isn’t just mine—it’s one many students are quietly living every day. Know that your brain is not broken. It’s wired for a different kind of brilliance. You are capable of incredible things.


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉




Reference:

Hotez, E., Rosenau, K. A., Fernandes, P., Eagan, K., Shea, L., & Kuo, A. A. (2022). A national cross-sectional study of the characteristics, strengths, and challenges of college students with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Cureus, 14(1), e21520. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.21520


Mak, A. D. P., Lee, S., Sampson, N. A., Albor, Y., Alonso, J., Auerbach, R. P., Baumeister, H., Benjet, C., Bruffaerts, R., Cuijpers, P., Ebert, D. D., Gutierrez-Garcia, R. A., Hasking, P., Lapsley, C., Lochner, C., & Kessler, R. C. (2021). ADHD comorbidity structure and impairment: Results of the WHO World Mental Health Surveys International College Student Project (WMH-ICS). Journal of Attention Disorders. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547211057275


Carlie Malott

Chris Spadaccino

Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I’m a junior at Texas State University majoring in Psychology. I’m passionate about supporting others on their mental health journeys and deeply believe that no matter where someone starts, with belief and effort, they can grow into something greater than they ever imagined.


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“Why Am I Slipping Again?” — How to Handle Setbacks Without Losing Your Progress in Recovery

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • May 8

Learning to handle setbacks with patience and self-compassion is a crucial part of any healing journey. Setbacks aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to pause, reflect, and grow stronger than before.

“Why Am I Slipping Again?” — How to Handle Setbacks Without Losing Your Progress in Recovery

In the early days of recovery—whether from trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, or burnout—progress often feels tangible. You’re attending therapy, practicing new habits, and maybe even sleeping better. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, the heaviness returns. You spiral after one bad day. You stop journaling. You snap at someone you love. And suddenly, you're asking yourself: Have I undone all my progress?


You haven’t. Healing doesn’t follow a straight path. It loops, stumbles, and revisits old terrain. What matters is not whether you fall back—it’s how you respond when you do.


Recognize the Signs Early


The earlier you can spot a setback in motion, the easier it is to keep it from pulling you down. Some early red flags might include:


  • Withdrawing from support: Avoiding friends, family, or support groups can indicate you're retreating into isolation.


  • Increased negative self-talk: Thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do this" can erode self-esteem.


  • Disrupted routines: Skipping therapy sessions, neglecting self-care, or abandoning healthy habits can signal a slip.


  • Emotional numbness: Feeling detached or disconnected from your emotions may be a defense mechanism against stress.


Acknowledging these signs doesn’t mean labeling them as failure—it means you’re self-aware enough to pivot before things deepen.


Respond, Don’t React


When you notice a backslide, your instinct might be to panic or shame yourself into “fixing it.” But panic is not a plan. Pause instead.


Try asking:


  • What’s changed recently in my environment or stress levels? Identifying external factors can help pinpoint triggers.


  • What am I feeling underneath the surface reaction? Exploring underlying emotions can provide clarity.


  • What helped last time I felt like this? Reflecting on past coping strategies can offer guidance.


Responding with curiosity instead of criticism allows you to re-engage your tools without reinforcing self-blame.


Rebuild Small, Not Perfect


You don’t need to return to the perfect version of your recovery routine. Start with one small anchor:


  • A short walk: Physical activity can boost mood and energy levels.


  • A single journaling prompt: Writing down thoughts can provide emotional release.


  • One therapy session: Professional support can offer new perspectives.


  • A five-minute meditation: Mindfulness practices can reduce stress and increase focus.


Small wins reinforce your ability to care for yourself again. Progress isn’t about intensity—it’s about consistency.


Reframe the Setback


Instead of asking, Why is this happening again? consider:


  • What is this setback showing me about what I still need? Viewing setbacks as informative can guide future actions.


  • What new layer of healing am I being invited into? Recognizing growth opportunities can transform challenges into learning experiences.


Every spiral is an opportunity to uncover deeper truths, not proof that you’re broken. You are evolving—and evolution is messy.


Reconnect to Your Support System


Even if you feel ashamed or exhausted, reach out to someone. A therapist. A trusted friend. A support group. Let them know you’re struggling. Connection is often the lifeline that grounds us back to our goals. You don’t need to do this alone—nor were you ever meant to.


Closing Reflection


Healing isn’t about never falling—it’s about learning how to stand back up with a little more wisdom each time.


So when the path gets rocky again, ask yourself this: What if my setback is not a detour—but the next step forward?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



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Resentment in a Marriage: What Happens When Love Keeps Score?

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • May 3

Resentment in a marriage often starts as small, unspoken disappointments—but over time, it can grow into emotional distance that’s hard to bridge. Healing resentment in a marriage requires both partners to move from blame to curiosity, and from silence to honest conversation.

Resentment in a Marriage: What Happens When Love Keeps Score?

Marriage begins with connection, trust, and the unspoken belief that you and your partner are on the same team. But over time, something subtle and corrosive can begin to grow in the quiet spaces between misunderstandings and unmet needs: resentment.


Resentment doesn’t usually arrive with fireworks. It builds like sediment—slowly, silently—until one day, you find yourself irritated by the sound of their voice or secretly tallying who did what last week. It’s emotional debt with no forgiveness plan. And if left unchecked, it can quietly erode the very foundation of your relationship.



What Is Resentment, Really?


Resentment is more than just frustration—it's a sign of emotional buildup. It's what happens when pain, disappointment, or unmet needs don’t get processed, expressed, or repaired.

Think of resentment as an internal alarm system that keeps going off, warning you that something isn’t right. Maybe you've asked for more help at home, more appreciation, or simply more presence—but nothing changes. Over time, you stop asking and start stewing.


It can stem from:


  • Feeling emotionally unsupported

  • A lack of fairness or reciprocity

  • Repeated invalidation or dismissal of your feelings

  • Long-term imbalance in effort or responsibility


The tricky part? Resentment doesn’t just linger—it transforms. Into sarcasm, silence, or shame. And when that happens, you’re no longer just irritated. You’re lonely, even if you're not alone.


Why We Don’t Talk About It


We often avoid talking about resentment because it feels… dangerous. As though voicing it will create conflict rather than connection. Many people—especially those raised in emotionally avoidant or unstable homes—learn to suppress their needs to “keep the peace.”


You might tell yourself:


  • “I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”

  • “It’ll just lead to another fight.”

  • “I’ve brought it up before and nothing changed.”


But silence isn’t safety—it’s slow self-erasure. And eventually, it breeds more distance than honesty ever could. Emotional intimacy depends on truth-telling, even when it’s uncomfortable.


How Resentment Shows Up


You might not even call it "resentment" at first. It just feels like:


  • Constant irritation at small things

  • Snapping over harmless comments

  • Emotional withdrawal—you stop sharing your inner world

  • Passive-aggressive behaviors ("No, it’s fine. I’ll just do it myself.")

  • Fantasizing about being anywhere but here


Resentment is often at the root of repetitive fights that never seem to resolve—where one or both partners feel unseen and unheard, and no amount of explanation seems to bridge the gap.


In intimacy, it might look like disconnection:


  • You no longer want to touch or be touched

  • You dread talking about emotions

  • You feel numb where you used to feel passion


The resentment isn’t just in your words—it’s in your body, your tone, your silence.


How to Break the Cycle


1. Name It—Gently


Don’t wait for a blow-up. Start the conversation before the pressure builds too high.

Instead of:


“You never help me around here.”

Try:

“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I realize I’ve started to carry some resentment. Can we talk about how we’re dividing things?”

It’s not about assigning blame. It’s about giving your feelings a voice so they don’t become armor.


2. Own Your Part


This doesn’t mean taking more responsibility—it means accurate responsibility. Are you bottling up your needs? Have you allowed certain patterns to continue out of fear or exhaustion?


Owning your part is about reclaiming your power to change how you communicate, set boundaries, or respond—without taking on guilt for your partner’s behavior.


3. Rebuild Trust Through Small Repairs


Forget grand romantic gestures for a moment. What matters most are small, consistent actions that signal: I see you, and I care enough to show up differently.


Examples:


  • Following through when you say you’ll do something

  • Saying “thank you” for the small things

  • Checking in emotionally: “How are you really doing today?”


Even a 5-minute daily check-in—free of screens and distractions—can go a long way in rebuilding connection.


4. Seek Help if You’re Stuck


If resentment feels too tangled to unravel alone, couples counseling (or individual therapy) can help. A trained therapist creates a space where both partners can feel safe enough to be honest without spiraling into conflict.


Sometimes you need a neutral third party to spot the patterns you’ve both become blind to.


5. Choose Curiosity Over Criticism


Curiosity is the antidote to defensiveness. When you feel frustration rising, try asking:


  • “What do you need right now that you’re not getting?”

  • “What would make you feel more loved or supported?”

  • “Is there something I’ve missed lately that matters to you?”


Listening doesn’t mean agreeing. But it opens the door to connection, which is what resentment most deeply craves.


A New Way Forward


Resentment is not a sign your relationship is doomed. It’s a sign that your relationship is ready for change. It means you care enough to notice the drift and to wish for something better—for both of you.


Repairing a marriage from resentment doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen—when both partners are willing to stop fighting against each other and start healing with each other.


Even if the conversations are messy. Even if it takes time. Even if you don’t know how to begin.


Because the alternative is silence. And silence steals more love than honesty ever will.



So an eye-opening question to reflect on: If you stopped keeping score, what would you start noticing instead—about your partner, and about yourself?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



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