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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 21, 2024

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) helps individuals heal from accident trauma by challenging irrational beliefs and promoting healthier thought patterns. Through its focus on emotional resilience, REBT empowers survivors to reframe their experiences, reducing anxiety and enhancing recovery.

Recovering with Reason: How REBT Helps Heal from Accident Trauma

Accidents, whether minor or life-altering, can leave lasting emotional scars. Beyond the physical recovery, many individuals also struggle with trauma that affects their mental health, from anxiety and depression to feelings of helplessness. Thankfully, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy, offers a powerful tool for overcoming the mental toll of such events.


What is REBT?


Developed by Albert Ellis in the 1950s, REBT is a therapeutic approach based on the idea that it’s not the events themselves, but the beliefs we hold about them, that cause emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts and replacing them with more rational, realistic ones, REBT empowers individuals to shift their mindset and build emotional resilience.


How REBT Helps with Accident Trauma


When a person experiences an accident, their first reaction may often be emotional: shock, anger, or overwhelming sadness. These responses are completely natural, but REBT helps individuals identify the beliefs behind their emotional reactions. For example, a person might believe: “I’ll never be the same again,” or “I’m weak for not recovering faster.” These beliefs can create feelings of hopelessness and despair.


Through REBT, individuals learn to challenge these irrational beliefs, replacing them with more rational thoughts like, “This event does not define me” or “I’m capable of recovering, but it may take time.” By reframing these negative thoughts, individuals can prevent them from spiraling into more serious mental health issues like PTSD or depression.


REBT Techniques for Overcoming Trauma


  1. ABC Model: One of the foundational tools in REBT is the ABC model, which stands for Activating event, Beliefs, and Consequences. For someone recovering from an accident, the activating event might be the trauma itself. The beliefs could range from rational thoughts (like "Accidents happen, and I will heal") to irrational ones (such as "This accident will ruin my life forever"). The consequences are the emotional and physical reactions that stem from those beliefs. REBT helps clients identify irrational beliefs and dispute them, leading to healthier emotional responses.


  2. Disputing Irrational Beliefs: A key technique in REBT is learning how to dispute irrational beliefs. When negative thoughts arise, such as “I’m never going to be the same,” clients are encouraged to ask themselves: “Is that absolutely true?” “Is it helpful?” Through this process, individuals learn to replace exaggerated, harmful beliefs with more practical and hopeful ones, enabling them to regain their mental strength.


  3. Self-Acceptance and Compassion: Accident trauma can lead people to feel ashamed, weak, or even unworthy of support. REBT emphasizes unconditional self-acceptance, teaching clients to be kind to themselves as they recover. Instead of berating themselves for not healing faster, individuals learn to practice self-compassion and recognize that recovery is a process — and it's okay to seek help along the way.


Real-World Application of REBT in Accident Recovery


One of the greatest strengths of REBT is that it is action-oriented. In practical terms, this means that individuals who have experienced accidents can begin to use REBT tools almost immediately, whether in therapy or on their own. By incorporating REBT techniques into daily life, individuals are empowered to confront their trauma in a way that is rational, healthy, and ultimately transformative.


For instance, if someone is afraid of getting behind the wheel after a car accident, REBT can help them reframe thoughts like "Driving is dangerous, and I’ll never be safe again" into more balanced ones, such as "Driving involves risks, but I can take steps to drive safely and regain my confidence over time." These shifts in mindset can drastically reduce anxiety and help people reclaim control over their lives.


Conclusion


Overcoming trauma is never a linear journey, and recovery takes time and patience. However, through REBT, individuals who have suffered from accident trauma can reclaim their emotional health and find peace of mind again. By challenging irrational beliefs and replacing them with more rational, balanced thoughts, REBT offers a path forward that is both empowering and healing.


As we all know, healing is a marathon, not a sprint — but with REBT, you have the mental tools to run the race with strength, clarity, and hope.


Final Thought: Whether you’ve experienced a recent accident or are still dealing with past trauma, REBT provides a therapeutic framework that encourages you to change your perspective, so you can heal with confidence.


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 20, 2024
Grief, Love, and Self-Care: Lessons from Sleepless in Seattle on Healing

Grief is one of those universal human experiences that doesn’t come with an instruction manual. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, often staying longer than you wish it would. If you’ve ever watched Sleepless in Seattle, you might recognize the grief of Sam Baldwin (played by Tom Hanks)—a widowed father who is still deeply mourning the death of his wife, Annie. But Sam’s grief is more than just a plot point in a romantic comedy; it’s a powerful portrayal of how we cope with loss, and perhaps more importantly, how we can begin to heal.


For Sam, grief isn’t something that fades quickly. It’s a quiet, pervasive force in his life—much like how grief can feel for anyone who has lost someone they loved. It’s not something you can simply "get over." Instead, Sam learns, often slowly and painfully, how to live with it. His grief becomes a part of him, shaping how he interacts with the world, how he raises his son, and even how he navigates relationships. In many ways, this reflects the reality of grief in mental health: it doesn’t have a timetable, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Grief may never fully "go away," but we can learn to manage it, find peace with it, and even grow from it.


Managing Grief: The Power of Self-Care


One of the most important lessons from Sleepless in Seattle—and grief in general—is the value of self-care during the grieving process. Grief can feel like a heavy weight that takes over your life. But just like Sam, we have to make space for our emotions, while also taking care of ourselves, so we can begin to heal.


Here are a few self-care strategies to help manage grief, whether you’re grieving a recent loss or still working through an old one:


1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Sam doesn’t just bottle up his feelings—he allows himself to feel the pain, even if it’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t rush through the process of mourning. Similarly, it’s important to recognize that grief isn’t something you need to fix or overcome quickly. It’s a natural response to loss, and it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel the sadness, the anger, and the confusion. Suppressing these emotions can often prolong the healing process. Let yourself feel, without judgment.


2. Practice Mindful Reflection

Just as Sam’s grief lingers in quiet moments—like when he hears a song or sees something that reminds him of his late wife—we can use these moments as an opportunity to practice mindful reflection. Instead of avoiding reminders, try sitting with them for a moment. Let your mind wander back to the memories, acknowledging the pain, but also the beauty of what was. This can help you process grief in a way that feels more natural and less overwhelming. Journaling or meditating during these moments of reflection can help you gain insight into your feelings and reduce the intensity of your grief over time.


3. Seek Support, But Don’t Rush New Beginnings

In Sleepless in Seattle, Sam does eventually open himself to the possibility of new love—but it’s not rushed. He isn’t forced to "move on" right away, but instead learns that love can exist alongside grief. This is a crucial lesson for anyone dealing with loss. Grief doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck forever, but it’s important to be gentle with yourself when you do begin to explore new aspects of your life. Reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist for support, but also recognize that healing can come slowly, in its own time.


4. Focus on Your Physical Health

Grief can take a significant toll on your physical health—sleepless nights, changes in appetite, and chronic fatigue are common symptoms. Taking care of your body can go a long way in helping you cope emotionally. Sam may not be focused on fitness, but he does take care of his son and himself in small, practical ways. You can do the same by maintaining a healthy diet, exercising (even just walking in nature), and ensuring you get enough rest. These physical acts of self-care will help keep your mind and body balanced as you process your grief.


5. Engage in Activities that Bring You Joy

In the movie, Sam’s son Jonah plays a pivotal role in helping Sam rediscover his capacity for joy and hope. While grief often clouds our ability to experience happiness, it’s important to gently nudge ourselves toward activities that bring us even the smallest amount of comfort. Whether it’s a hobby you’ve always enjoyed, spending time with loved ones, or simply watching a comforting movie, like Sleepless in Seattle, these moments of joy can act as anchors to help you stay grounded as you navigate grief.


6. Take It One Day at a Time

Just like Sam’s journey, grieving doesn’t follow a neat, predictable path. There are ups and downs, moments when the weight of the world feels too much, and times when you can feel a sense of peace. The key to handling grief is understanding that you don’t have to have all the answers. It’s okay to take things one day at a time. Some days may feel easier than others, and that’s completely normal. It’s not about rushing the process, but rather embracing each moment and moving forward at your own pace.


Final Thoughts: Grief and the Beauty of Self-Care


Sleepless in Seattle offers more than just a love story—it’s a poignant exploration of how grief can shape us and how, through self-care and patience, we can learn to live with it. Sam’s journey isn’t about erasing the past but learning to honor it while finding ways to open up to new experiences. Similarly, when we are grieving, self-care becomes a way to honor our pain, while also giving ourselves permission to heal and grow.


Grief is a complicated, often overwhelming emotion, but through self-care and gentle reflection, it can be managed. Like the soft, comforting rain in Seattle, we can learn to coexist with our grief, finding moments of peace, even amidst the storm. And in doing so, we create space for healing and, eventually, for hope.


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 10, 2024

Managing disappointment post-election can be challenging, but it's important to allow yourself time to process your emotions and engage in self-care strategies that restore balance and peace of mind. Taking small, positive actions and seeking support from others can help you move through the feelings of frustration and regain a sense of empowerment.

Healing After the Vote: Self-Care Tips for Managing Disappointment Post-Election

Election season can be a whirlwind of emotions—hope, anxiety, anticipation. But for many, the aftermath of the election results can feel like a heavy emotional weight. Whether the outcome was disappointing, frustrating, or just plain hard to accept, it’s common to feel down. If you're struggling with a sense of sadness or confusion after the results, it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.


Here are some self-care strategies, with examples, to help you cope and feel more grounded as you navigate through post-election emotions:


1. Acknowledge Your Emotions – Don’t Suppress Them

It’s natural to feel a range of emotions after an election, whether it's anger, sadness, or even hopelessness. The key is to allow yourself to feel. Sometimes, simply acknowledging your emotions is the first step to feeling better.


Example: After the results, you might feel a sense of grief. Take a moment to sit quietly and write down your thoughts in a journal. Perhaps you write, "I feel angry and disappointed because I had hoped for change in this election." Writing it down helps process those feelings and can prevent them from festering.


2. Limit Your Media Consumption – Unplug for a Bit

The constant barrage of news updates and social media commentary can make feelings of frustration worse. Giving yourself permission to step back from the news is a powerful form of self-care.


Example: If you find yourself glued to your phone or TV, try setting a timer for 30 minutes a day to check news updates—then switch to something more relaxing. Listen to a podcast on your favorite hobby, watch a light-hearted TV show, or read a novel you’ve been putting off.


3. Connect with Supportive People – You Don’t Have to Process It Alone

Talking things through with someone who understands or can offer empathy can be incredibly soothing. Don’t isolate yourself—surround yourself with friends or loved ones who can listen, comfort, and even provide a different perspective.


Example: Reach out to a friend you trust who shares your values and feelings about the election. Share a coffee or a meal together, and just talk. Maybe your friend feels the same way, or they might have a positive, reassuring point of view that helps shift your mindset.


4. Practice Mindfulness – Breathe Your Way to Calm

Mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing, meditation, or simply paying attention to your surroundings, can reduce stress and help you refocus your energy. These small moments of mindfulness can offer a powerful reset.


Example: Try the "5-4-3-2-1" grounding exercise: Identify five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This will help shift your mind away from the election's chaos and bring you back to the present moment, helping reduce anxiety.


5. Engage in Physical Activity – Move Your Body, Lift Your Mood

Exercise is a proven way to combat stress, elevate your mood, and improve your overall sense of well-being. Even a little movement can work wonders.


Example: Go for a walk in nature. If it’s possible, take a walk in a nearby park or along a tree-lined street. If walking isn't your thing, try a gentle yoga session at home to stretch your body and calm your mind. The combination of movement and breathing helps release pent-up stress and boosts endorphins.


6. Set Small, Achievable Goals – Focus on What You Can Control

When the world feels uncertain, sometimes it helps to focus on small tasks that you can control. These small victories can provide a sense of accomplishment and help you feel more grounded.


Example: Start with simple tasks like organizing a drawer, making a healthy meal, or completing a work project. Checking off even a few small goals can provide a feeling of progress and help distract you from the bigger, uncontrollable political landscape.


7. Engage in Creative or Relaxing Hobbies – Escape into Joy

Sometimes, the best way to cope with negative emotions is to immerse yourself in something that brings you joy. Hobbies can provide an emotional outlet, or simply offer a break from the heaviness of current events.


Example: If you enjoy painting, try setting up a mini art station at home. Put on your favorite music and create something without pressure. Or maybe you like baking—try making your favorite comfort dessert like chocolate chip cookies. It’s a fun, creative way to channel your emotions into something positive.


8. Practice Self-Compassion – Be Kind to Yourself

You might feel like you “should” be handling things better, but it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel upset. Show yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a tough time.


Example: If you catch yourself being overly critical or harsh, replace those thoughts with kinder statements. Instead of thinking, "I should be more positive about this," try saying, "It’s okay to feel this way. I’m allowed to take time to process." Practicing self-compassion can help you cope without added guilt.


9. Look to the Future with Hope – Small Actions Can Lead to Change

If the election results feel discouraging, it’s easy to feel like progress has stalled. However, remember that change happens gradually, and your voice still matters. Engaging in small, positive actions can be a source of hope.


Example: If you’re feeling powerless, consider volunteering for a cause you believe in or supporting a local organization. Even something small, like donating to a charity or signing a petition, can remind you that there are ways to contribute and create change, no matter the election result.


10. Seek Professional Help – When You Need Extra Support

If you find that your feelings of sadness, anger, or hopelessness persist or interfere with daily life, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. A counselor or therapist can offer guidance and tools to help you process these emotions in a constructive way.


Example: Many therapists offer virtual sessions, making it easier to find support from the comfort of your home. A few sessions might provide valuable tools to manage difficult emotions, reframe negative thoughts, and build emotional resilience.


Take Care of Yourself: You Matter

The aftermath of an election can stir up difficult feelings, but taking proactive steps to care for yourself can help ease the emotional load. By acknowledging your emotions, limiting stressors, staying connected with others, and focusing on self-compassion, you can find the strength to move forward, even when things feel uncertain. Healing takes time, but remember, your well-being is worth the effort, and taking care of yourself will help you show up stronger for what comes next.


You deserve peace, and it’s okay to take the time you need to find it.


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