“Why Am I Slipping Again?” — How to Handle Setbacks Without Losing Your Progress in Recovery

Learning to handle setbacks with patience and self-compassion is a crucial part of any healing journey. Setbacks aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to pause, reflect, and grow stronger than before.

In the early days of recovery—whether from trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, or burnout—progress often feels tangible. You’re attending therapy, practicing new habits, and maybe even sleeping better. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, the heaviness returns. You spiral after one bad day. You stop journaling. You snap at someone you love. And suddenly, you're asking yourself: Have I undone all my progress?

You haven’t. Healing doesn’t follow a straight path. It loops, stumbles, and revisits old terrain. What matters is not whether you fall back—it’s how you respond when you do.

Recognize the Signs Early

The earlier you can spot a setback in motion, the easier it is to keep it from pulling you down. Some early red flags might include:

• Withdrawing from support: Avoiding friends, family, or support groups can indicate you're retreating into isolation.

  
  

• Increased negative self-talk: Thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do this" can erode self-esteem.

  
  

• Disrupted routines: Skipping therapy sessions, neglecting self-care, or abandoning healthy habits can signal a slip.

  
  

• Emotional numbness: Feeling detached or disconnected from your emotions may be a defense mechanism against stress.

  
  

Acknowledging these signs doesn’t mean labeling them as failure—it means you’re self-aware enough to pivot before things deepen.

Respond, Don’t React

When you notice a backslide, your instinct might be to panic or shame yourself into “fixing it.” But panic is not a plan. Pause instead.

Try asking:

• What’s changed recently in my environment or stress levels? Identifying external factors can help pinpoint triggers.

  
  

• What am I feeling underneath the surface reaction? Exploring underlying emotions can provide clarity.

  
  

• What helped last time I felt like this? Reflecting on past coping strategies can offer guidance.

  
  

Responding with curiosity instead of criticism allows you to re-engage your tools without reinforcing self-blame.

Rebuild Small, Not Perfect

You don’t need to return to the perfect version of your recovery routine. Start with one small anchor:

• A short walk: Physical activity can boost mood and energy levels.

  
  

• A single journaling prompt: Writing down thoughts can provide emotional release.

  
  

• One therapy session: Professional support can offer new perspectives.

  
  

• A five-minute meditation: Mindfulness practices can reduce stress and increase focus.

  
  

Small wins reinforce your ability to care for yourself again. Progress isn’t about intensity—it’s about consistency.

Reframe the Setback

Instead of asking, Why is this happening again? consider:

• What is this setback showing me about what I still need? Viewing setbacks as informative can guide future actions.

  
  

• What new layer of healing am I being invited into? Recognizing growth opportunities can transform challenges into learning experiences.

  
  

Every spiral is an opportunity to uncover deeper truths, not proof that you’re broken. You are evolving—and evolution is messy.

Reconnect to Your Support System

Even if you feel ashamed or exhausted, reach out to someone. A therapist. A trusted friend. A support group. Let them know you’re struggling. Connection is often the lifeline that grounds us back to our goals. You don’t need to do this alone—nor were you ever meant to.

Closing Reflection

Healing isn’t about never falling—it’s about learning how to stand back up with a little more wisdom each time.

So when the path gets rocky again, ask yourself this: What if my setback is not a detour—but the next step forward?

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Setting Boundaries With Your Parents Is Not Selfish — It’s Self-Loving

The truth is, as much as we may want to stand by our parents, sometimes it’s more important to stand up for ourselves. Because the reality is, not all parents are supportive or able to show up in the ways we truly need. Whether it’s helicopter parenting, emotional immaturity, absence, or anything in between, there’s often a common thread: our emotional needs, sense of safety, and security weren’t fully met in childhood.

Sometimes we need to fall in order to learn, something that overly controlling parents often struggle to allow. We may crave privacy, needing to keep certain parts of ourselves just for us, a concept that emotionally immature or overly dependent parents might not grasp. And sometimes, we just need to hear that someone is proud of us, words our absent parents may never be able to give.

No matter the dynamic between parent and child, we realize that our purpose in life isn’t to constantly seek their approval or earn the title of “good daughter” or “good son”. Our existence is meant to be lived authentically: full of risks, mistakes, heartbreaks, lessons, and evolution. But in order to self-actualize, we must give ourselves the space to grow.

Why Is It Important to Set Boundaries?

The interesting thing about boundaries is that they often need to be set with the people closest to us. None of us makes it through childhood entirely unscathed. We all carry core wounds, many of them knowingly or unknowingly caused by our parents. These wounds follow us into adulthood and impact how we show up in the world.

But the healing we need can’t begin until we allow ourselves the space to process and repair. That’s where boundaries come in. We realize that loving ourselves doesn’t mean we love them any less. That standing up for our needs doesn’t make us ungrateful for their sacrifices. Choosing to leave home or draw a line in the sand isn’t selfish; it’s self-loving.

Because only when we honor our truest selves can we genuinely show up for those around us. As long as resentment or guilt lingers, we stay trapped in a painful tug-of-war, torn between betraying ourselves or betraying them. But when we choose ourselves with compassion and courage, we begin to break that cycle and open the door to the respect, love, and freedom we need to truly thrive in our own lives.

Click to Learn About Simple, Daily Practices for Managing Stress

What Does Setting Boundaries Look Like?

One of the biggest sources of guilt when setting boundaries is saying “no” to our parents. The moment we do, we’re often consumed by a fear of disappointing them or feeling like we’re being ungrateful.

But it’s important to remind ourselves that saying “no” isn’t an act of rejection, it’s an act of self-preservation. When communicated with clarity, our boundaries can actually deepen mutual understanding and create a more loving relationship. Setting boundaries might sound like:

• “I won’t be able to visit this holiday — I’ve been working hard and really need some time to rest and recharge.”

  
  

• “I understand that you want me to stay in school and pursue this degree, but my heart is calling me in a different direction, and I need to honor that.”

  
  

• “I’m not ready to talk about my personal life just yet. I promise I’ll open up when I have more clarity.”

  
  

These kinds of statements communicate compassion, respect, and consideration, not defiance. At the end of the day, most parents want what’s best for you, even if their version of “best” doesn’t perfectly align with yours.

By expressing that you value their presence while also advocating for your own time, space, and truth, you give them the opportunity to support you in ways that feel good to both of you.

How to Handle Situations When Boundaries Are Overstepped

The truth about boundaries is that they’re more for you than for the other person. No matter who you’re setting them with, even your parents. Each time we advocate for our needs, even at the risk of disappointing someone, we strengthen our self-worth. When someone oversteps a boundary, it’s a form of disrespect to you. But this awareness is here to empower you. When your boundary is crossed, it’s up to you to clearly address it. Sometimes, assertiveness is necessary. That might mean saying, “This felt like a violation of what I expressed, and I need you to respect that moving forward.”

In some cases, taking space from your parents can be necessary to protect your mental health. That doesn’t mean cutting them off permanently. But a temporary pause in communication can help you restore peace and clarity. What matters is communicating this choice in a calm yet firm way, so everyone understands why that space is needed.

Conclusion

Boundaries aren’t about punishment or pushing people away. They’re about preservation. Setting them is an act of self-respect, self-care, and self-love. When we choose to protect our peace and mental well-being, we are choosing to honor ourselves at the deepest level.

At times, we may wonder why we have to be the ones to lead these conversations or “be the bigger person.” But there’s power in realizing we’re not doing it to please others, we’re doing it to protect our own peace. When we make that shift, we step out of the victim mindset and into our power.

We begin to hold the reins of our lives like we’re meant to; without blame, guilt, or resentment, but with clarity, confidence, and love.

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Niki Kay

Host of the Mindset Mentress Podcast | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I'm a writer, podcast host, and entrepreneur focused on self-discovery and transformation. Through my podcast, Mindset Mentress, I share insights on authenticity and growth. Currently pursuing a journalism certification at NYU to enhance my storytelling and impact.

linkedin | instagram

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When You're Doing It All Alone: Surviving the Mental Load of Solo Parenting

Surviving solo parenting means learning to celebrate small wins, like getting through the day with everyone fed and safe. There’s no manual for this, but with patience, grit, and a little self-compassion, you can find strength you didn’t know you had.

There are days when it feels like the walls are closing in. The toddler won’t nap, the kitchen is a disaster, the laundry has become its own ecosystem, and you haven’t sat down—let alone showered—in what feels like days. There’s no help coming. No partner walking through the door to tag in, no grandparent on call, no babysitter to offer relief. The house is loud, messy, and so very full of needs—but there’s no room left for you.

This is the unfiltered, unromantic side of parenting that rarely makes it into Instagram captions or parenting books: the deep, relentless isolation of doing it all alone.

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How It Impacts Your Mental Health

When every ounce of your time is claimed by tiny hands, your mental health can quietly slip through the cracks. You stop noticing how tense your shoulders feel. You lose interest in things you once loved. Work becomes a guilt-ridden juggle (if you can even get to it), and the idea of fun? Laughable. There’s no room for play or peace when you’re constantly firefighting. Over time, this wears on even the strongest, most loving parents. Exhaustion becomes your baseline, and burnout begins to look like your new personality.

What If No One Is Coming to Help?

So how do you come back from this—when no one is coming to rescue you? The answer isn’t about finding a village. It's about becoming your own backup system. The first step is lowering the bar, without shame. Perfection is not the goal—preservation is. Ask yourself what truly matters today. Is it a spotless floor, or a moment of stillness with your child? Is it folding laundry, or taking five minutes to breathe? Give yourself permission to let some things go. Survival is success.

Click to Learn About How to Thrive as a Working Single Parent Without Family or Friends

Build Tiny Systems That Serve You

Next, build in tiny rituals that serve you. They don’t have to be glamorous or time-consuming. Light a candle at the end of the day to mark the fact that you made it. Blast music while you clean just one corner of the house. Keep your favorite snack stashed out of reach of tiny fingers. Reclaim one small thing that belongs just to you. These micro-moments matter more than you think—they are acts of resistance against the overwhelm.

Mental Health Hacks You Can Actually Use

Mental wellness in solo parenting doesn't mean never feeling tired or frustrated. It means having tiny tools in your back pocket to ground you. Practice "box breathing" (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) while your toddler screams. Write out a brain dump before bed to quiet the mental spiral. Keep a “peace basket” of toys that buys you 15 minutes to sit, breathe, or do something small for yourself. Your toolkit doesn’t have to be big—it just has to be yours.

Affirmations for the Days That Break You

When the noise gets too loud, come back to affirmations. Not the cheesy kind, but the kind that hold you steady:

• “I’m not failing—this is just hard.”

• “My child doesn’t need perfect, they need loved.”

• “It’s okay to feel tired. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong.”

• “I’m doing more than enough with what I have.”

  
  

Write them on sticky notes. Set them as phone reminders. Whisper them to yourself when the silence finally comes.

Coming Back Strong, One Moment at a Time

Coming back strong doesn’t mean leaping out of burnout in one dramatic moment. It means slowly, quietly rebuilding your energy one small win at a time. Let yourself celebrate what you did do today. The lunch you made. The tears you soothed. The meltdown you survived. The laugh you shared. These things matter. They count.

You may not have help. You may not have time. But you have something powerful: the ability to get back up, again and again. And that is nothing short of heroic.

A Question Worth Asking

What if the real mark of a strong parent isn’t how well they do it all—but how bravely they do it alone?

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