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Raising a Mentally Strong Toddler: How to Promote Healthy Emotion Regulation from the Start

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 2

As a parent, it's essential to promote healthy emotion regulation by modeling calm responses and teaching coping strategies. By creating a safe and supportive environment, you can help your child develop the emotional resilience needed to navigate life’s challenges.

Raising a Mentally Strong Toddler: How to Promote Healthy Emotion Regulation from the Start

Parenting a toddler is no small feat. The unpredictable tantrums, the sudden outbursts of joy, and the overwhelming emotions that seem to emerge out of nowhere can leave any parent feeling exhausted and uncertain. But beyond these everyday challenges lies an opportunity — the chance to foster mental strength and emotional resilience in your child from a young age. By helping your toddler regulate their emotions, you're setting the foundation for a lifetime of mental well-being.


Understanding Emotion Regulation in Toddlers


Emotion regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a healthy, balanced way. In toddlers, this skill is still in development. At this age, children are often overwhelmed by their emotions, and their ability to self-soothe or control their reactions is limited. This is why tantrums and meltdowns are a common part of toddlerhood — it's their way of expressing feelings they don’t fully understand or know how to process.


As a parent, your role is to help your child understand and manage these emotions. But how exactly can you promote healthy emotion regulation and support your toddler in becoming mentally strong?


1. Model Emotional Regulation


Children learn best by watching and imitating the adults around them. As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is model healthy emotional responses in your own behavior. When you face stress, frustration, or anger, demonstrate how you cope with those emotions. Take deep breaths, express your feelings calmly, or remove yourself from the situation to regroup. Your toddler will notice these strategies and, over time, start mimicking them.


For example, if your child sees you handling a stressful situation with calmness and patience, they are more likely to start using similar techniques to deal with their own emotions.


2. Acknowledge and Label Emotions


Even though toddlers may not have the vocabulary to express their emotions, they feel them intensely. By acknowledging your child's feelings and labeling their emotions, you can help them understand what they’re experiencing. Simple phrases like, "I can see you’re really frustrated," or "It seems like you’re feeling sad," validate their feelings and give them the language to identify and articulate their emotions.


As they grow, you can start introducing more complex emotional vocabulary — such as happy, sad, frustrated, excited, or even embarrassed — to help them build a broader emotional toolkit. This not only promotes emotional awareness but also helps them regulate their reactions in the future.


3. Teach Coping Skills Early


Even toddlers can begin learning basic coping skills that will help them handle big feelings. A good way to introduce these skills is through simple techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a moment to calm down in a designated "calm space."


For example, when your toddler begins to get upset, you can guide them through a simple breathing exercise: "Let’s take a deep breath in… and breathe out slowly." Practicing these techniques together can help your child learn to self-soothe when they feel overwhelmed. Over time, these coping skills can become second nature for your toddler, giving them tools to manage emotions independently.


4. Create a Secure and Predictable Environment


Toddlers thrive on routine. A predictable environment and consistent boundaries provide a sense of security, which can help reduce anxiety and emotional outbursts. When children know what to expect, they are better able to regulate their emotions.


For instance, having a consistent bedtime routine can help your child feel calm and secure before sleep, while predictable meal and playtimes can make your child feel safe and in control of their daily schedule. When emotions are high, these routines can act as anchors that bring calmness and stability.


5. Encourage Expressing Emotions Creatively


Toddlers may not always be able to articulate their feelings verbally, but they can often express themselves creatively. Encourage activities like drawing, play-acting, or singing, where your toddler can explore their emotions through different mediums. For example, when your toddler is upset, instead of just trying to calm them down, you could offer them crayons and ask them to draw how they're feeling. This gives them an outlet for their emotions and promotes self-expression, which is a key part of emotional regulation.


6. Set and Maintain Boundaries with Empathy


Boundaries are essential for emotional regulation. While toddlers need room to express their emotions, they also need to learn that certain behaviors are unacceptable, such as hitting or screaming. Setting clear and consistent boundaries helps your toddler understand what is appropriate behavior, and when they push limits, calmly reinforcing the boundaries can help them learn self-control.


The key is to approach discipline with empathy. Instead of shaming or punishing, try to help your toddler understand why their behavior isn’t acceptable and offer a more appropriate way to express their feelings. For example, if your toddler hits another child out of frustration, you might say, "I can see you’re really angry, but hitting isn’t okay. Let’s use our words to tell them how we feel."


7. Give Them Time to Process Emotions


It’s important to allow your toddler time to process their emotions. Sometimes, they may need a few minutes to calm down before they’re ready to move on or discuss the issue. Avoid rushing the emotional recovery process or forcing your child to "snap out of it." Instead, allow them the space to experience their emotions fully, knowing that it’s a natural part of growing up.


8. Praise Effort, Not Perfection


Finally, it's important to acknowledge and praise your toddler's efforts, not just their achievements. If your child attempts to use a coping strategy or shows signs of self-regulation, praise them for their effort. Encouraging them to keep trying, even when they don't always succeed, builds emotional resilience and self-confidence.


Raising a Mentally Strong Toddler


By promoting healthy emotional regulation, you’re not just teaching your toddler to manage their emotions — you're also helping them build the mental strength they need to navigate life’s challenges. Emotional resilience is a lifelong skill, and fostering it in early childhood creates a strong foundation for emotional well-being as your child grows.


Eye-Opening Question:


How can we, as parents and caregivers, create more supportive environments where toddlers can safely express and manage their emotions, setting them up for a lifetime of emotional health and resilience?


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How Parents Can Support Foster Children Struggling with Binge Eating and Overeating

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 1

Supporting foster children struggling with binge eating requires understanding the emotional trauma they’ve experienced and offering compassionate guidance. Foster parents can play a vital role by creating a safe, stable environment and helping children develop healthier coping mechanisms for emotional stress.

Navigating Gender Dysphoria: When Is Help Needed, and How Can We Support Our Teens?

Foster care children often face emotional and physical challenges that many of us can't even imagine. Among these struggles, binge eating and overeating can be a hidden yet significant issue affecting children in foster care. The trauma of abuse, neglect, and instability can manifest in complex ways, and overeating is sometimes the way these children cope with the emotional scars left by their past. As a foster parent, understanding the connection between foster care experiences and unhealthy eating habits is key to providing the right support and care.


The Impact of Foster Care on Mental Health


Children entering foster care often come from situations where they experienced neglect, instability, or abuse. These traumatic experiences can deeply affect their emotional and mental well-being. When a child has faced situations beyond their control, such as unpredictable meals, food scarcity, or emotional neglect, food can quickly become a means of finding comfort or control.


Binge eating and overeating are common coping mechanisms for many children dealing with emotional trauma. Food becomes a source of comfort in an otherwise chaotic world, but this pattern can quickly spiral into unhealthy eating habits. For some foster children, overeating becomes an escape from overwhelming emotions they don’t know how to process. It’s a way to fill the emotional void that their trauma has created, but it often leads to physical and mental health issues down the road.


Recognizing the Signs of Binge Eating and Overeating


As a foster parent, being able to recognize the signs of binge eating or overeating is critical for offering timely support. These behaviors might not be immediately obvious, especially if the child is good at hiding their actions or feelings. Here are some common signs to look out for:


  • Eating Large Quantities of Food in One Sitting: This can happen even when the child isn't physically hungry.

  • Secretive Eating: The child may eat in secret or attempt to hide food wrappers or leftovers, which can be an indication of binge eating episodes.

  • Repeated Overeating Despite Feeling Full: Your child might continue eating even after they've had enough, or may constantly talk about food.

  • Frequent Emotional Overeating: Turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or sadness is often a sign of overeating due to emotional triggers.

  • Social Withdrawal and Shame: The child may express shame or embarrassment about eating habits and could avoid social situations involving food.


These behaviors often arise as a means of self-soothing, but they can also serve as a way for children to regain a sense of control when other aspects of their life feel unpredictable or out of their hands.


How Foster Parents Can Help


Supporting a foster child with binge eating or overeating requires a delicate and compassionate approach. Here are some ways you can help:


  1. Create a Safe and Predictable Environment: Stability and routine are incredibly important for foster children who have experienced trauma. A predictable routine around mealtimes can give children a sense of security, which might reduce the need to overeat as a means of control. Keep mealtimes consistent, calm, and free of pressure.


  2. Address Emotional Needs: Often, overeating is a response to unmet emotional needs. Help your child identify their feelings by providing a safe space for them to express their emotions. Encourage open conversations about their experiences and feelings, letting them know it’s okay to talk about difficult topics.


  3. Focus on Health, Not Weight: Instead of focusing on weight or appearance, create conversations about healthy eating habits. Encourage positive conversations about nourishing the body and treating it with respect, rather than tying food to emotions like shame, guilt, or punishment.


  4. Limit Emotional Eating Triggers: Help your child find healthy outlets for stress or emotional pain, such as art, physical activity, or journaling. When they feel overwhelmed, teach them other coping mechanisms that don’t involve food, like breathing exercises, mindfulness, or talking through their feelings.


  5. Encourage Professional Support: Binge eating and overeating can be symptoms of deeper emotional trauma, and professional therapy or counseling can be incredibly helpful. A therapist specializing in trauma or eating disorders can help your child learn to identify and manage emotional triggers, as well as develop healthier coping mechanisms.


  6. Model Healthy Behavior: Children learn a lot from what they see. Model healthy eating habits, self-care routines, and healthy relationships with food. Your example can go a long way in helping your child learn to treat food as nourishment, not a way to cope with feelings.


  7. Celebrate Small Wins: Recovery from overeating or binge eating is a gradual process. Celebrate small milestones, like choosing a healthy snack or discussing emotions openly. These moments can help your child feel empowered and motivated to continue on their journey to emotional and physical healing.


A Lifeline in Times of Struggle


As a foster parent, you hold a pivotal role in supporting children with binge eating or overeating behaviors. Your compassion and commitment can help guide them toward healthier eating habits and, more importantly, emotional healing. Your home can be a place where they find security, support, and the tools to cope with their trauma in healthy ways.


Eye-Opening Question:


How can we, as a society, better equip foster parents with the tools and resources needed to help children struggling with emotional eating and binge eating disorders?


By understanding the root causes of these behaviors and providing the right support, we can create a future where every child in foster care has the opportunity to heal, grow, and develop healthy relationships with food and themselves.


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Navigating Gender Dysphoria: When Is Help Needed, and How Can We Support Our Teens?

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Feb 18

Teens navigating gender dysphoria face the complex challenge of reconciling their gender identity with societal expectations, often leading to emotional distress. Providing them with understanding, support, and access to professional care can significantly ease their journey toward self-acceptance and confidence.

Navigating Gender Dysphoria: When Is Help Needed, and How Can We Support Our Teens?

Gender dysphoria, as defined by the DSM-5, refers to the distress that a person experiences when their gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. For many teens, this can manifest as a deep sense of discomfort with their body, an intense desire to be perceived as a different gender, or confusion about their gender identity altogether.


In adolescence, when self-identity is still developing, this experience can be especially difficult. The teen years are a time of intense physical, emotional, and social change, and when gender dysphoria is added to the mix, it can be overwhelming. For parents, educators, and caregivers, understanding when professional help is needed and how to best support a teen through their gender journey is crucial.


When Is Help Needed?


While gender exploration is a normal part of adolescent development, gender dysphoria becomes more apparent when the discomfort with one’s assigned gender is persistent, significant, and causes distress or impairment in daily life. According to the DSM-5, some common signs that a teen might be experiencing gender dysphoria include:


  • A strong desire to be treated as the opposite gender

  • A deep discomfort with their physical body, particularly primary and secondary sexual characteristics

  • A consistent feeling of being “misunderstood” or disconnected from their gender role

  • Persistent distress or depression, particularly related to gender identity


If any of these signs are present, it’s important to consider seeking support. Gender dysphoria can affect mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and sometimes self-harm, particularly if the individual feels unsupported or misunderstood.


How Do We Help Our Teens?


  1. Listening and Validation

The first step in supporting a teen with gender dysphoria is to listen openly and without judgment. Teenagers who are struggling with gender identity issues often feel isolated or dismissed, so creating a space where they feel safe to express their feelings is essential. Let them know their feelings are valid and that their emotions are heard.


  1. Seeking Professional Guidance

When gender dysphoria is causing distress or impairment, it’s vital to involve mental health professionals. Therapists who specialize in gender identity can provide a safe space for the teen to explore their feelings and help guide them through their journey. Therapy may involve gender-affirming care, which includes understanding the teen's identity, emotional well-being, and potential steps they might want to take, whether that involves social, medical, or legal transitions.


  1. Supporting Social Transition

For many teens, transitioning may not involve medical or physical changes but rather social ones. This can include changes such as adopting a new name, pronouns, or clothing style that aligns with their gender identity. Supporting this social transition—whether at home, in school, or within the community—can help reduce stress and allow teens to feel more comfortable in their own skin.


  1. Understanding Medical Options

For some teens, medical interventions such as hormone therapy or gender-affirming surgeries may be part of their transition. These options should be discussed with professionals in gender-affirming healthcare, who can help the teen and family understand the benefits, risks, and timing of these procedures. It’s important that teens make informed decisions with the support of mental health professionals, medical providers, and their family.


  1. Creating a Supportive Environment

Finally, fostering an environment of unconditional love and acceptance is crucial. The teen years can be challenging for anyone, but for those experiencing gender dysphoria, having a strong support system can make all the difference. Encourage open conversations, educate family members and friends, and create a safe space at home where the teen can express themselves freely.


The Bottom Line: Why Should We Care?


Supporting teens with gender dysphoria is not just about addressing their immediate concerns, but about validating their identities and helping them navigate a world that may not always understand their experiences. As parents, educators, and caregivers, our role is to empower these young people, helping them develop the confidence and self-worth they need to thrive.


So, here’s the eye-opening question: How can we, as a society, do more to create a world where gender-diverse teens feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection?


The conversation is just beginning. Are we ready to listen?


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