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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 1

This year, make mental health resolutions that go beyond just coping with stress and focus on building lasting emotional resilience. Setting intentional mental health resolutions, like practicing self-compassion and prioritizing rest, can transform not only your year but your entire outlook on life.

New Year, New Mindset: How to Make Mental Health Resolutions That Actually Stick

The arrival of a new year often feels like a blank slate—a fresh start, a new chapter. For many, it’s an opportunity to set resolutions, make changes, and aim for personal growth. But as we dive into the whirlwind of self-improvement goals, there’s one resolution that too often gets pushed to the backburner: our mental health.


While promises to hit the gym or eat healthier are common staples of New Year’s resolutions, the importance of mental well-being tends to take a backseat. However, after a year of collective challenges, uncertainties, and emotional exhaustion, prioritizing your mental health in 2025 could be the best goal you set for yourself.


But here’s the tricky part: How can we create meaningful mental health resolutions that don't just get tossed aside by February? How can we move beyond the usual "be more positive" or "stop stressing" and make tangible, lasting changes to improve our mental health?


The Year of Intentional Change


When it comes to mental health, intention is everything. It's easy to set vague resolutions like “I’ll be happier” or “I’ll be less anxious,” but how do you measure something so subjective? Instead of aiming for a perfect state of mind (which doesn’t exist), focus on intentional, sustainable changes that make an impact.



1. Start with Self-Compassion, Not Perfection


One of the most powerful resolutions you can make is to treat yourself with more kindness. We often judge ourselves harshly, especially when we fall short of our goals. But self-compassion isn’t just a fluffy buzzword; it’s a scientifically proven way to reduce stress and improve mental health. Instead of berating yourself for not being "perfect," practice understanding, patience, and care.


Small acts of self-compassion can look like speaking kindly to yourself in moments of failure, setting boundaries without guilt, and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes. This shift can create a mental environment of growth and healing rather than one of shame and frustration.


2. Prioritize Restful Sleep, Not Just More Hours


We live in a culture that often celebrates productivity over rest. The "rise and grind" mentality is toxic to our mental health, and studies show that poor sleep is directly linked to increased anxiety, depression, and cognitive impairment. This year, instead of resolving to "work harder," resolve to prioritize quality sleep.


Sleep is a vital part of emotional regulation. Good rest helps with memory consolidation, mood stabilization, and stress management. So, consider making small changes that could improve your sleep hygiene: limit screen time before bed, create a relaxing pre-sleep routine, and aim for consistency in your sleep schedule. Think of sleep as an investment in your mental health, not a luxury.


3. Practice Mindfulness Over Multitasking


In our fast-paced world, multitasking is often glorified. Yet research has shown that switching between tasks can actually decrease productivity and contribute to feelings of anxiety. This year, instead of spreading yourself thin, try focusing on mindfulness.


Mindfulness isn’t just about meditation—it’s about staying present in the moment. Whether you’re eating lunch, walking, or having a conversation, make a conscious effort to stay engaged and focused. This practice can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, increase your emotional awareness, and create space for you to process your thoughts and feelings more effectively.


4. Build a Strong Support System, Not Just a Social Media Following


In the age of social media, it’s easy to feel connected online but isolated in real life. Building a support system based on real, face-to-face connections can significantly improve your mental well-being. A strong support system doesn't just consist of people who listen to you—it includes those who challenge you, make you laugh, and remind you of your worth.


This year, commit to nurturing relationships that matter. Whether it's spending more time with family, catching up with an old friend, or seeking professional support through therapy or a support group, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being.


5. Set Boundaries with Your Time and Energy


As much as we might want to please others, constantly overextending ourselves takes a toll on our mental health. A powerful resolution for 2025 is learning to set healthy boundaries. It might mean saying "no" to extra work commitments, limiting time spent on draining activities, or not responding to messages after a certain hour.


Boundaries aren’t about being selfish—they’re about protecting your energy and maintaining your peace of mind. When you establish boundaries, you’re telling yourself that your mental and emotional well-being matters.


Making Mental Health Resolutions Stick


The key to sticking with mental health resolutions is not about setting perfectionist goals but about building habits that align with self-care and long-term well-being. Rather than focusing on the big, unattainable outcomes, look for small, actionable steps you can take every day to nurture your mind.


So, how do you start?


Begin by breaking down your mental health goals into tiny, manageable steps. Instead of committing to "be happier," aim for something concrete like “take five minutes each morning to focus on my breathing" or “call a friend once a week." Progress doesn’t have to be drastic to be impactful.


Lastly, be gentle with yourself. It's okay if you slip up or don't meet every goal perfectly. Mental health isn’t a destination—it’s a journey, and it’s important to celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.


The Eye-Opening Question:


As you plan your New Year’s resolutions, consider this: What if the best resolution you could make this year isn’t about achieving more, but about embracing who you truly are—imperfections, struggles, and all?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 31, 2024

By using DBT to strengthen your relationship, you can improve communication, manage intense emotions, and create a deeper, more compassionate connection with your partner.

Building Bridges, Not Walls: How to Use DBT to Strengthen Your Relationship

In any relationship, emotions run deep, and when conflict arises, they can either bring you closer or drive you further apart. If one partner struggles with emotional regulation, such as someone dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), these emotions can feel overwhelming and hard to manage. But what if there were tools that could help you navigate these turbulent waters together, building understanding and resilience along the way?


Enter Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—a therapeutic approach originally developed to help people with BPD manage intense emotions, improve interpersonal skills, and enhance emotional regulation. While DBT is often used individually in therapy, its principles can also be incredibly beneficial for couples who are looking to improve their communication and connection.


What is DBT?


DBT was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to help people with BPD regulate their emotions and improve their relationships. At its core, DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and acceptance practices. It focuses on balancing acceptance and change, teaching individuals how to manage overwhelming emotions without resorting to destructive behaviors like self-harm, substance abuse, or angry outbursts.


For couples, DBT offers practical strategies to navigate emotional intensity, reduce conflict, and increase empathy and understanding. While originally designed for individuals, many of DBT’s core concepts can be applied directly to relational dynamics.


Key DBT Skills for Couples:


  1. Mindfulness: Staying Present During Conflict Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment—without judgment. In a relationship, when emotions run high, it’s easy to get lost in old patterns of thinking, reacting, and defending. However, by practicing mindfulness, both partners can create space between the feeling and the reaction.


    How to Use It: During a disagreement, take a moment to pause and check in with yourself. Focus on your breath, notice what you’re feeling, and try to observe the situation without immediately jumping into defense mode. This can help both of you slow down the conversation and create space for more thoughtful responses.


    Why it Helps: Mindfulness helps break reactive patterns. By taking a step back before responding, both partners are more likely to respond in ways that are less defensive and more constructive.


  2. Distress Tolerance: Navigating High-Emotion Moments Distress tolerance skills teach you how to tolerate emotional pain without making the situation worse. In a relationship, especially when one partner struggles with intense emotions, distress tolerance can be crucial in managing situations before they escalate.


    How to Use It: When you feel overwhelmed or your partner’s emotions become intense, try to stay grounded in the present moment. Use self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, counting to 10, or grounding exercises (e.g., focusing on the sensations of your feet on the floor or the feeling of your hands in your lap).


    Why it Helps: Distress tolerance enables you to avoid reactive behavior like yelling, shutting down, or withdrawing. It creates a healthier way of managing emotional discomfort, keeping the dialogue open instead of shutting it down.


  3. Emotional Regulation: Navigating Your Emotional Responses DBT teaches emotional regulation, which involves recognizing your emotions, understanding their triggers, and learning how to express them in healthy ways. This is particularly helpful when one partner experiences emotional extremes and the other partner feels unsure of how to respond.


    How to Use It: Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to understand what you’re feeling and why. You might say, “I’m feeling really frustrated right now because I don’t feel heard. Let’s take a break and come back to this later.” The key is to express your emotions constructively without blaming or attacking your partner.


    Why it Helps: Emotional regulation encourages both partners to take responsibility for their emotions rather than blaming each other. It creates space for both partners to express themselves without the risk of emotional overload or miscommunication.


  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communicating Needs and Boundaries One of DBT’s most valuable tools for couples is interpersonal effectiveness—the ability to assertively express needs, set healthy boundaries, and maintain self-respect without harming the relationship.


    How to Use It: When you need something from your partner, use the DEAR MAN technique (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Stay Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate). For example, “I need you to listen to me without interrupting when I’m upset (Describe). I feel ignored and frustrated when you don’t listen to me (Express). I’m asking you to listen for just five minutes before responding (Assert). It would help me feel understood (Reinforce).”


    Why it Helps: Interpersonal effectiveness skills allow both partners to communicate clearly and respectfully, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. It also strengthens the relationship by ensuring that each person feels seen and valued.


  5. Validation: Acknowledging and Accepting Emotions Validation is a cornerstone of DBT. It’s the practice of acknowledging and accepting your partner’s feelings—whether or not you agree with them. For couples dealing with emotional dysregulation, validation can help soothe feelings of hurt or frustration.


    How to Use It: When your partner expresses their emotions, try to say things like, “I can see that this situation is really upsetting for you” or “I understand that you’re feeling hurt right now.” This simple act of validation can prevent escalation and help your partner feel seen and supported.


    Why it Helps: Validation fosters emotional safety, making it easier for both partners to share their feelings without fear of judgment. When each person feels validated, it becomes easier to navigate conflict and strengthen emotional intimacy.


How DBT Transforms Your Relationship:


When you introduce DBT skills into your relationship, you’re not just learning tools to fight less—you’re learning how to love more. DBT emphasizes creating a balance between acceptance and change, both of which are essential for a healthy relationship. The acceptance aspect helps both partners feel understood and respected for who they are, while the change aspect empowers both individuals to grow and adapt together.


By practicing DBT, you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively, manage emotions better, and foster a deeper emotional connection. These skills help you become more resilient as a couple, even during difficult times, allowing you to face challenges without resorting to destructive patterns.


Final Thoughts: A Journey Toward Healing


Using DBT in your relationship is not a quick fix—it’s a journey. But with commitment, patience, and practice, both you and your partner can create a stronger, more empathetic connection. The tools of DBT don’t just help manage conflict—they nurture trust, foster understanding, and deepen emotional intimacy.


Eye-Opening Question: How might your relationship change if both you and your partner were able to communicate your feelings with greater understanding and compassion? And what small step can you take today to start that journey?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 30, 2024

Building healthy attachments with your toddler is essential for fostering emotional security and a strong foundation for future relationships. By consistently responding to their emotional needs and creating a safe, predictable environment, you help your toddler develop trust and resilience that will support them throughout their life.

Nurturing Bonds: How to Develop Healthy Attachments with Your Toddler

As parents, caregivers, or guardians, one of the most crucial roles we have is to foster a secure, healthy attachment with our toddlers. These early bonds form the foundation for a child's emotional, social, and psychological well-being. A secure attachment in these formative years is not just about the affection you give but the consistency, responsiveness, and safety you provide. But how do we create that special bond that will help our toddlers feel safe, seen, and loved?


Understanding Attachment: The Basics


Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby, suggests that children are biologically programmed to form emotional bonds with their caregivers as a survival mechanism. These attachments help them feel safe, secure, and confident as they explore the world around them. In the toddler years, attachment shifts from simply being about survival needs to emotional regulation, self-soothing, and a growing sense of independence.


When we talk about "healthy attachment," we’re talking about a secure attachment style where the child feels comfortable exploring their environment, knowing they can return to their caregiver for comfort and reassurance. This security allows toddlers to build emotional resilience, form healthy relationships with others, and even develop better cognitive skills.


Why Attachment Matters


Why should parents and caregivers prioritize attachment? Studies have shown that children with secure attachments tend to exhibit better emotional regulation, stronger social skills, and improved mental health throughout their lives. In contrast, insecure attachments—those marked by inconsistency, neglect, or over-protection—can lead to behavioral issues, difficulties with trust, and struggles with emotional regulation later in life.


During the toddler years, attachment is vital because it provides a sense of stability during a time of rapid growth and development. Toddlers are beginning to understand their emotions, assert their independence, and navigate social situations. A solid attachment base allows them to feel confident in expressing themselves and developing trust in others. Without a healthy attachment, toddlers may feel anxious, fearful, or disconnected, leading to challenges in emotional expression and relationships as they grow.


Steps to Building Healthy Attachments with Your Toddler


1. Be Emotionally Available


One of the most important aspects of attachment is emotional availability. Toddlers, though unable to articulate their feelings fully, often express themselves through behavior. By being attuned to their emotional states and responding with empathy and care, you create a safe environment where they feel understood.


For example, when your toddler is upset, instead of offering solutions immediately, try validating their emotions. A simple statement like, "I can see you're really frustrated," can go a long way in making them feel heard. By being emotionally available, you show your child that their feelings matter and that you are there to provide comfort and support.


2. Establish Routines and Predictability


Toddlers thrive on routine. When children know what to expect, they feel more secure. Simple daily rituals, like a regular bedtime routine or a predictable mealtime, help your child develop a sense of safety and stability. Consistent routines allow them to explore their environment confidently because they know that they can always return to a safe and structured space.


3. Use Positive Reinforcement


Toddlers are constantly testing boundaries, and while it's important to set limits, it's equally crucial to offer positive reinforcement for desired behaviors. Reinforcing positive actions, such as sharing, following instructions, or showing kindness, helps toddlers understand what behaviors are acceptable. Praise should be specific and genuine—“I love how you shared your toy with your friend!”—so they know exactly what they’re being praised for.


4. Respond Quickly to Your Child’s Needs


Responsive parenting is key to building a healthy attachment. If your toddler is upset, hungry, or tired, responding to their needs promptly helps them feel safe and supported. Even if the situation seems trivial to you, for your toddler, it's a moment that tests their sense of trust and security. Acknowledging their needs and providing reassurance teaches them that they can rely on you, creating a bond of trust and safety.


5. Encourage Independent Play While Being Present


While it’s important to be emotionally available, it’s also important to give your toddler space to explore independently. Encourage safe, independent play while being present and available if they need you. This allows them to build confidence in their ability to navigate the world, knowing they can return to you for comfort when needed. This balance between independence and connectedness is vital in fostering a secure attachment.


6. Model Healthy Relationships


Toddlers learn by watching their caregivers, so it’s essential to model healthy emotional expression and communication. Show your child how to express emotions calmly, solve conflicts respectfully, and maintain healthy relationships. Your toddler will mirror your behavior and begin to internalize these patterns, helping them form healthy social and emotional bonds with others.


The Impact of Healthy Attachment on Future Development


A strong, healthy attachment during the toddler years lays the groundwork for emotional resilience. Children with secure attachments are better able to manage their emotions, face challenges, and develop the confidence to build healthy relationships as they grow. These children are more likely to explore the world with curiosity, trust their caregivers, and navigate life’s transitions with a sense of security.


A Simple Truth


Developing a healthy attachment with your toddler doesn’t require perfection; it requires consistency, love, and patience. By responding to their emotional needs, providing a predictable environment, and fostering independence, you create a secure foundation that will last a lifetime.


Are you nurturing a secure attachment with your toddler, or is it time to evaluate how your relationship can evolve to better support their emotional development?


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