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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 10, 2024

By embracing new challenges and seeking out support, individuals can feel truly empowered while navigating disability, discovering strengths they never knew they had. Staying connected with others and focusing on what’s possible, rather than what’s lost, allows us to feel empowered while navigating disability, fostering resilience and hope for the future.

Resilience in Action: How to Stay Positive, Social, and Empowered While Navigating Disability

Living with a disability—whether acquired through injury, illness, or a lifelong condition—can feel like a constant uphill battle. The emotional and physical toll can lead to moments of despair, isolation, and frustration. However, it’s important to remember that while a disability may alter how we interact with the world, it doesn’t define our ability to thrive.


This article is for anyone navigating the challenges of disability, offering insights on how to stay positive, remain socially engaged, and avoid the mental trap of despair. By embracing new activities, forging connections, and maintaining a resilient mindset, we can all discover strength we never thought possible.


1. Acceptance: Embrace the Change, Don’t Fight It


The first and often hardest step in navigating a disability is accepting that life will be different. The idea of “before” and “after” can loom large, especially if the disability is the result of an injury or sudden illness. It’s natural to grieve the life you once had. But to truly move forward, you must come to terms with the fact that things have changed. Accepting that your life will not be the same doesn’t mean giving up on happiness or purpose; it simply means acknowledging reality.


This acceptance is crucial. When you accept the change, you stop resisting it. You stop wishing for things to be as they were, and instead, focus on what is now possible. This shift in mindset is freeing. It opens up space to discover new ways of being, new opportunities, and new joys. Life may not be the same, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fulfilling.


2. Shift Your Perspective: See the Possibilities, Not the Limits


When faced with a disability, it's easy to focus on everything you can no longer do. But this mindset can be limiting. Instead, try to shift your perspective to focus on what’s still possible. Perhaps there are activities you’ve never tried before or hobbies you can adapt to your new circumstances. The key is to start small and embrace the idea that what matters most is how you choose to respond to the challenges.


For example, if mobility is a challenge, you might explore adaptive sports or join a local cycling group with handcycles. If you’ve always loved painting but can no longer hold a traditional paintbrush, try experimenting with adaptive tools or digital art. Whatever it is, embracing new opportunities helps build a sense of accomplishment and refuels your confidence.


3. Stay Connected: Socializing Is Vital for Mental Health


One of the most difficult aspects of living with a disability is the potential for social isolation. It can feel like everyone else is moving forward, while you’re left behind. But the truth is, staying socially connected is essential for mental well-being. Regular socializing can reduce the risk of depression and anxiety, foster a sense of belonging, and even improve your outlook on life.


If leaving the house is challenging, start by maintaining virtual connections. Video calls, online gaming, or joining social media groups centered around your interests or disability can offer a sense of community. Many people with disabilities find great support in online forums where they can share their experiences and advice with others who understand their journey.


For those who can get out, look into local community groups or clubs that welcome people with disabilities. Social gatherings like book clubs, art classes, or support groups can help you stay engaged and forge meaningful relationships. Even small outings like a coffee meet-up with friends can break up the monotony and remind you that you're part of a wider network.


4. Create a Routine: Structure Reduces Stress and Boosts Positivity


In times of uncertainty, creating structure can be incredibly grounding. When dealing with a disability, especially one that causes fluctuations in mood, energy, or ability, having a predictable routine provides stability. Your day doesn’t have to be packed with activities, but having consistent time for self-care, exercise, work (if possible), hobbies, and socialization is essential.


For instance, setting aside time each morning for mindfulness or meditation can help you start the day with clarity. Physical activity, tailored to your ability, is another excellent way to boost both your mood and health. From yoga and swimming to simply going for a daily walk, exercise can help release endorphins and combat the negative effects of stress. If you have physical limitations, chair exercises or seated tai chi are gentle yet effective ways to stay active.


5. Focus on Self-Care: Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit


When dealing with the emotional toll of a disability, self-care becomes even more critical. Caring for your mental and physical well-being can help build resilience and a positive outlook.


  • Mental well-being: Journaling, meditation, or speaking with a therapist can offer emotional relief. Therapy, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help challenge negative thoughts and teach coping mechanisms.


  • Physical health: Nutrition and rest play a vital role in how we feel emotionally. Eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep helps improve your energy levels, which in turn boosts your mood and outlook on life. Look for creative solutions to eat well, such as meal delivery services or online recipe ideas that cater to your needs.


  • Spiritual wellness: Whether through faith, meditation, or nature walks, finding ways to nurture your spiritual health can provide immense comfort. Spirituality can be an anchor that helps you feel connected to something larger than yourself, offering a sense of peace and purpose.


6. Adaptive Hobbies: Discover New Passions and Rediscover Old Ones


A disability might limit certain activities, but it can also open the door to new hobbies that you may never have considered. Adaptive hobbies are empowering because they show that life can still be full of creativity and joy, regardless of physical or mental constraints.


If you enjoyed hiking but find it more difficult now, consider joining an adaptive sports group that explores nature through wheelchair hiking or adaptive climbing. If music was once a hobby but holding instruments is now a challenge, there are adaptive instruments and even music production tools that can help you stay connected to your passion.


Creative outlets like painting, photography, or writing are also excellent ways to express yourself. Many people with disabilities find that these activities offer therapeutic benefits, allowing them to express emotions they may not be able to articulate verbally. Art therapy programs are also a wonderful way to meet others and explore creativity in a supportive environment.


7. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge Your Progress


Progress isn’t always linear, and the journey of living with a disability comes with both highs and lows. It's easy to get discouraged by setbacks, but it’s essential to acknowledge and celebrate every step forward—no matter how small. Whether it’s a new accomplishment in your physical therapy routine or a meaningful conversation with a friend, these are wins that deserve recognition.


Create a gratitude practice, where you note down things you're thankful for each day. This can shift your focus away from what’s wrong and remind you of what’s going right. Gratitude has been shown to improve emotional health by helping individuals focus on the positive aspects of their lives rather than dwelling on limitations.


8. Ask for Help: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone


It’s important to remember that you don’t have to face the challenges of living with a disability in isolation. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals. Support groups and therapists can offer invaluable guidance, helping you to process emotions, learn coping strategies, and connect with others who are facing similar experiences.


In fact, asking for help can be one of the most empowering steps you take. It shows strength, vulnerability, and a willingness to stay connected to the world around you.


Conclusion: Your Disability Doesn’t Define You


Living with a disability may bring significant challenges, but it does not mean you have to stop living a full, vibrant life. The first step in this journey is accepting that things have changed and that life will look different. Once you embrace this reality, you can move forward with purpose, exploring new possibilities, discovering new passions, and nurturing the relationships that matter most.


By maintaining a positive mindset, staying socially connected, discovering new activities, and asking for support, you can not only survive—you can thrive.


Remember, resilience isn’t about avoiding the tough times; it’s about acknowledging them and continuing to move forward, even when it feels difficult. The path might not always be smooth, but with the right tools and mindset, you can carve out a life filled with meaning, connection, and joy. Stay positive, stay social, and most importantly, never lose hope. You are capable of more than you know.


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 9, 2024

After facing cancer, rebuilding a resilient mindset is essential for reclaiming control and finding peace amidst uncertainty. By embracing strength, focusing on the present, and nurturing your mental health, you can transform the fear of recurrence into an opportunity for growth and healing.

The Fear That Lingers: Navigating the Return of Cancer and Rebuilding a Resilient Mindset

For many cancer survivors, the fear of cancer returning can be just as overwhelming as the diagnosis itself. It’s a constant companion that creeps in when least expected—during a routine check-up, a new symptom, or a quiet moment of reflection. This fear, while natural, can have a profound impact on mental health, often leading to anxiety, depression, and a diminished quality of life. Understanding that the fear of recurrence is real and addressing it with effective mental health strategies is essential for long-term healing.


Why the Fear of Cancer Recurrence Is So Real


The trauma of a cancer diagnosis doesn’t just vanish when treatment ends. In fact, for many survivors, the emotional and psychological aftermath can be just as intense as the physical journey through illness. While doctors and loved ones celebrate the end of treatment, cancer survivors often feel a lingering unease, a sense that their lives are in a perpetual state of "waiting." The unknown can be terrifying.


The fear of recurrence often stems from:


  • The uncertainty of the future: After cancer treatment, survivors may feel as though they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, constantly fearing that the cancer might return without warning.


  • The psychological impact of cancer: Cancer often triggers deep existential questions about life and mortality, leading to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability.


  • Physical symptoms and triggers: Any unexplained pain or symptom, no matter how minor, can ignite fears of cancer returning, even if there’s no medical evidence to suggest it.


These fears, while understandable, can sometimes snowball into a serious mental health issue if left unchecked. Anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts are common, and they can interfere with daily functioning and the joy that cancer survivors deserve to reclaim.


The Importance of Creating a Better Mindset


While we can’t control whether cancer will return, we can control how we respond to that fear. Building a resilient mindset isn’t about ignoring the fear or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about accepting it, learning how to manage it, and refusing to let it dictate your life. Here are several strategies for creating a healthier, more balanced mindset when cancer’s shadow looms:


  1. Accept the Fear, But Don’t Let It Define You It’s normal to feel fear and anxiety about cancer recurrence, but it’s important to acknowledge those feelings without allowing them to take over. By accepting that these thoughts and feelings are a part of the healing process, you can begin to create a healthy relationship with them rather than allowing them to control your life. Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on the present moment, can help you distance yourself from obsessive fears of the future.


  2. Shift Your Focus from “What If” to “What Is” When we are consumed by fear, our minds often spiral into “what if” scenarios, imagining the worst possible outcomes. Shifting your thinking to focus on the present moment—what is happening right now—can help break that cycle. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on your senses or engaging in activities that require full attention, can help redirect your focus back to the present.


  3. Build a Support Network You don’t have to face this fear alone. Having a support system of friends, family, or a therapist can make a significant difference in how you manage your anxiety. Sharing your fears with trusted individuals can lighten the emotional load and provide a sense of community. Support groups, both in-person and online, also provide the opportunity to connect with others who truly understand the complexities of cancer survival.


  4. Find Empowering Ways to Take Control While you may not be able to control the return of cancer, there are many things you can do to regain a sense of control over your life. Healthy lifestyle choices—like regular exercise, proper nutrition, and stress management—can empower you to take charge of your physical and mental health. The act of taking care of your body can build resilience and increase feelings of self-efficacy.


  5. Reframe the Narrative Around Your Journey Instead of seeing cancer survival as a “waiting game,” try to reframe your experience as a story of strength and resilience. Recognize the courage it took to face your illness, and embrace the ongoing journey of healing and growth. Rather than fearing what might happen, focus on what you’ve overcome and the lessons you’ve learned. This mindset shift can provide a sense of purpose and control, reducing feelings of helplessness.


  6. Practice Self-Compassion Survivors of cancer can often be their own harshest critics. You may find yourself blaming yourself for any perceived weaknesses or feeling guilty for experiencing fear or anxiety. Be kind to yourself. Understand that your emotions are valid and that healing—both physical and emotional—takes time. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend in a similar situation.


Pulling Yourself Back from the Edge: What to Do When You’re Sinking


There will be moments when the fear is overwhelming. When the anxiety is all-consuming, and it feels like you're sinking into the “what-ifs” of cancer returning. In those moments, it’s crucial to have strategies to pull yourself back into a grounded, centered space. Here are a few techniques to help you do that:


  • Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing can help calm the body’s stress response and reduce feelings of panic. Practice slow, deep breaths—inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four—to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and restore calm.


  • Grounding Techniques: Focus on your five senses to bring yourself back to the present. What can you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch right now? Grounding exercises can help interrupt the spiraling thoughts and refocus your mind on the here and now.


  • Write It Down: Journaling your thoughts and fears can be an incredibly cathartic way to release pent-up emotions. Write down everything you’re feeling in the moment, even if it’s just fear or confusion. Getting your feelings out on paper can help create emotional distance from them.


  • Affirmations: Reaffirm your strength. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve already endured. Positive affirmations like “I am strong,” “I have the power to face what comes,” and “I trust my body” can shift your mindset and build resilience over time.


Conclusion: Navigating the Fear with Resilience


The fear of cancer recurrence is real, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by it at times. But remember, you are not defined by your fear. You have the power to create a mindset that embraces life, acknowledges fear without letting it control you, and focuses on the present moment. You are stronger than you think, and by nurturing your mental health, you can continue to live a fulfilling, empowered life—even with the shadow of fear in the background.


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 1, 2024

Support is about building strength, not simply fixing problems. It empowers us to face challenges on our own by providing encouragement, guidance, and the tools we need to realize our own resilience.

The Power of Forgiveness: Why Letting Go Isn't Always the Answer

We’ve all been there—facing a rough patch where the weight of life’s challenges seems unbearable. Whether it's dealing with stress, a tough breakup, anxiety, or mental health struggles, it's natural to want to turn to loved ones for support. But here's an important distinction: reaching out to others for help doesn't mean relying on them to fix things for you. True support is about turning to those who can help you build your strength and self-worth so that you can ultimately learn how to lift yourself up—and reclaim your own mental health.


The Difference Between Support and Dependency


There’s a fine line between leaning on others for comfort and relying on them to carry the weight of your problems. Support, at its core, is about connection—it’s about having someone to listen, to offer advice, or simply to remind you that you’re not alone. But, relying on loved ones to “fix” your problems can become an emotional crutch that delays personal growth and healing. In fact, relying too much on others to take away your pain or provide solutions can actually lead to feelings of helplessness and dependency.


The ultimate goal is to find strength from within, not just from others. Reaching out should be about gathering the courage to ask for help, knowing that the true work of healing and recovery is yours to do. Loved ones are there to help build you up—not to carry your burdens for you.


The Role of Support in Building Your Inner Strength


When you ask for help from friends, family, or a support system, what you’re really seeking is someone who can hold space for you without taking over your healing process. It’s about sharing your burden so that you don’t feel alone, but still having the autonomy to heal at your own pace. The right kind of support empowers you to stand up for yourself, to understand your worth, and to acknowledge your strength.


For example, imagine reaching out to a friend when you’re struggling with mental health. They might not be able to make the anxiety or depression go away, but they can offer empathy, validate your feelings, and help you brainstorm healthy coping mechanisms. This type of support can act as a catalyst, helping you discover tools you can use independently.


When your friends or family encourage you to take responsibility for your healing, they’re not abandoning you—they’re teaching you to stand strong on your own. They’re helping you realize your inner resilience and self-worth in ways that can ultimately make you stronger. Over time, you begin to see that the power to change lies within you, and external support only amplifies what you already have inside.


How to Use Support as a Stepping Stone to Self-Reliance


If the end goal of reaching out is to reclaim your mental health, how can you use support from others in a way that builds your independence? Here are a few strategies:


1. Seek Guidance, Not a Fix


When you talk to someone about a difficult situation, focus on seeking guidance rather than asking them to provide a solution. Ask for advice, feedback, or even a sounding board, but remember that it’s okay to make your own decisions.


2. Develop Coping Mechanisms


Supportive loved ones can help you identify tools that promote self-care—exercise, journaling, breathing exercises, or therapy. But ultimately, you’re the one who has to practice these skills regularly. Make a commitment to your own healing journey, while appreciating the encouragement your loved ones provide.


3. Learn to Be Your Own Cheerleader


Support from others is powerful, but you are the one who needs to validate your own progress. Celebrate the small victories—getting out of bed, completing a task, or managing a difficult emotion. When you’re able to be kind to yourself, you grow stronger and more confident in your ability to navigate life’s challenges.


4. Give Back to Your Support System


Once you’ve started building your strength and working through your struggles, remember to thank your friends and loved ones for their support. The best way to show gratitude is by doing the work to heal and reclaim your life. Your growth becomes the thank-you gift, proving that their support made a lasting difference in your life.


Reclaiming Your Mental Health: The Ultimate Goal


The ultimate goal of seeking support from loved ones is not to stay in a place of dependency, but to use that support as a tool for self-empowerment. Over time, as you begin to implement the strategies that work for you, you will find that you no longer need others to “fix” your problems. You will learn how to lift yourself up when times get tough. And when you’ve made it through, you can celebrate not only by spending time with those who supported you, but by showing them that you are strong enough to carry the weight on your own.


Healing doesn’t mean you never reach out—it means you reach out with the intention to grow stronger. Support is the bridge, but you are the one who walks across it. By cultivating your own strength, you’ll eventually be able to face whatever life throws at you, knowing that you have the power to overcome it all on your own—and that, ultimately, is the most powerful kind of recovery.


Conclusion


Reaching out for help is not about avoiding your problems or relying on others to carry the load. It’s about building your own strength and resilience, learning from your support system, and eventually learning how to stand on your own two feet. By seeking support and taking responsibility for your own healing, you can reclaim your mental health, rebuild your confidence, and move forward with the knowledge that you have everything within you to thrive.


The best way to say “thank you” to those who have helped you is by living your life to the fullest, healed and whole, and showing them how strong you really are.


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