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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Feb 10

Being thankful can transform your mental health by shifting your focus from negativity to positivity, helping to reduce stress and anxiety. Regularly practicing gratitude not only improves your emotional well-being but also strengthens your resilience against life's challenges.

The Power of Gratitude: How Being Thankful Can Transform Your Mental Health

In a world filled with constant stress and distractions, it’s easy to forget the simple power of gratitude. Yet, science is now revealing that practicing thankfulness doesn’t just make you feel good—it can actually improve your mental health, boost your mood, and help you cope with life’s challenges in profound ways.


The Science Behind Gratitude


Research has shown that gratitude is more than just a fleeting emotion. It’s a powerful tool that can rewire your brain to focus on the positive aspects of your life, shifting your mindset away from negativity. When you express gratitude, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin—two neurotransmitters that are essential for feeling happy and content. These "feel-good" chemicals are the same ones targeted by antidepressant medications, which means that by simply being thankful, you can achieve a mood boost without the need for a prescription.


In one study conducted by the University of California, participants who kept a daily gratitude journal reported feeling happier, less anxious, and more optimistic. Another study from the University of Pennsylvania found that individuals who practiced gratitude had improved sleep, reduced depression, and greater levels of physical health. It's clear that cultivating gratitude can have a profound impact on your well-being—mentally, emotionally, and physically.


Gratitude and Mental Health: A Lifeline


When dealing with mental health struggles such as anxiety or depression, it can be difficult to see beyond the cloud of negative thoughts that often dominate your mind. This is where gratitude comes in. By actively seeking out the positive moments in your day, you create a mental habit of looking for the good—even when it feels hard. It doesn’t mean ignoring the tough stuff, but rather acknowledging that there is also beauty and joy in the everyday.


One powerful practice is the “three good things” exercise, which encourages you to list three positive things that happened each day. These don’t have to be monumental events—sometimes, the smallest moments are the most meaningful: a warm cup of coffee, a kind word from a friend, or the feeling of sunlight on your skin. Over time, this practice trains your brain to look for gratitude in even the most mundane aspects of life, which can shift your mindset and build resilience against stress and adversity.



Gratitude and Relationships: Strengthening Connections


Gratitude can also strengthen your relationships. By expressing appreciation for the people in your life, whether it’s a simple “thank you” or a heartfelt note, you deepen your emotional connections and create a positive cycle of kindness. Studies show that couples who regularly express gratitude toward each other have stronger relationships and are more satisfied with their partnerships. Feeling appreciated is one of the fundamental needs of human beings, and when you show your gratitude, you not only improve your own mental health, but also the well-being of those around you.


Practical Tips for Cultivating Gratitude


  1. Start a Gratitude Journal: Each day, jot down three things you’re thankful for. This can be as simple as a good cup of coffee, a compliment from a coworker, or a moment of laughter with a friend.


  2. Express Your Thanks: Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. A sincere "thank you" can go a long way in strengthening your relationships and lifting your spirits.


  3. Practice Mindfulness: Take a few moments each day to sit quietly and reflect on the present moment. Notice the sights, sounds, and sensations around you, and take a deep breath. Acknowledging the beauty of your surroundings can help you cultivate a sense of gratitude in the here and now.


  4. Reframe Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself overwhelmed by negativity, pause and ask yourself, “What can I be grateful for right now?” Shifting your focus to the positive helps to neutralize the grip of anxiety and stress.


The Ripple Effect: Gratitude and Overall Happiness


The effects of gratitude extend beyond mental health—research shows it can boost your physical health as well. Grateful individuals tend to have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, and better sleep quality. Gratitude is like a ripple that affects every area of your life, creating a chain reaction of well-being that benefits both your mind and body. It’s a small practice with a big impact.


Why Aren’t We More Grateful?


Despite the benefits, many people struggle to consistently practice gratitude. In a world that often emphasizes what's wrong or what’s missing, it’s easy to overlook the positives. But even in times of hardship, the act of being thankful is a choice—a choice that has the potential to change your perspective, improve your mental health, and create a life that’s more fulfilling.


The Bottom Line


Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good emotion—it’s a powerful mental health tool that can help you rewire your brain, boost your resilience, and build stronger, healthier relationships. The act of being thankful can transform your mindset, alleviate stress, and increase happiness.


So, the next time you’re feeling weighed down by life’s challenges, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What are you thankful for right now?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 24, 2024

In a world that often feels overwhelming and unpredictable, finding joy in the chaos becomes a powerful act of self-liberation—choosing to embrace life's messiness rather than resist it. When we stop waiting for perfect moments and start seeing the beauty in the imperfect, we unlock the true freedom of finding joy in the chaos around us.

Is It Really So Hard to Be Happy? The Truth About Finding Joy in the Chaos

In today’s fast-paced, stress-laden world, we’re constantly chasing happiness. We’re bombarded by messages telling us that happiness is found in wealth, status, relationships, and the perfect moments. But what if happiness isn’t something we chase at all? What if it’s something we allow ourselves to feel, no matter where we are or what we’re going through?


Many of us think that happiness is the result of favorable circumstances: a promotion, a new relationship, financial stability, or even a vacation. But what if the truth is simpler, more profound—and far less dependent on the outside world?


The Key to Happiness: Acceptance


What if the real secret to happiness is accepting ourselves and our situations—completely? Imagine, for a moment, that happiness isn’t tied to the “good” things happening in our lives, but rather in how we respond to everything—good or bad. What if happiness is about being fully present, accepting our reality, and releasing the need to control every outcome?


Let’s be clear: acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. It doesn’t mean that you sit back and let life happen to you. Instead, it’s about embracing where you are right now, without judgment. When you stop fighting against your circumstances, whether you're navigating a tough financial situation or struggling with a personal setback, you allow yourself to find peace, no matter how imperfect or chaotic things may seem.


The Power of Seeing Things Clearly


The hardest part about being happy often isn't the circumstances themselves—it’s how we perceive them. When we view a situation through a lens of fear, worry, or self-criticism, it becomes hard to be happy. But when we take a step back and look at things with clarity and acceptance, we begin to see things for what they really are: fleeting, temporary, and not as overwhelming as we once thought.


This is where true freedom lies: in the realization that everything, good or bad, is part of the flow of life. You don’t need to be in a “perfect” situation to find joy. You can find your happy place even in the most challenging times—whether you're on the brink of bankruptcy, experiencing a relationship breakdown, or facing a health crisis. Happiness is not about the absence of problems but about how you choose to see them.


Cultivating Inner Peace: A Happy Place You Can Access Anytime


So, how do you find this inner peace? It’s simpler than you might think. Your “happy place” isn’t somewhere you need to travel to or something you need to acquire. It’s an internal state of being that you can access anytime. Here’s how:


  1. Let Go of Judgment – Stop labeling your feelings or experiences as “good” or “bad.” Life isn’t black and white, and neither are your emotions. Embrace everything you feel without trying to change it. By letting go of judgment, you open the door to self-compassion.


  2. Practice Radical Acceptance – Embrace your reality as it is, without the pressure to “fix” it. Accepting your situation doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It simply means you’re choosing to move through it with a sense of peace, knowing that all challenges are temporary and that you will figure things out in time.


  3. Focus on What You Can Control – When life feels out of control, focus on what you can control: your reactions, your mindset, and your actions. By taking small steps toward positive change, you can build momentum and feel empowered, even when your external circumstances aren’t ideal.


  4. Shift Your Perspective – Instead of dwelling on the negatives, actively look for the positives. What can you be grateful for right now? What lessons are you learning from your struggles? Shifting your perspective can help you see the silver lining, even in the darkest clouds.


  5. Trust the Process – Understand that you are exactly where you need to be in this moment. Trust that the difficulties you’re facing are part of your growth, even if you don’t fully understand them yet. When you trust the process, you release the need to control the outcome, which allows peace to flow in.


How Do You Find Happiness When Life Feels Unfair? (Like When You Have Cancer?)


Now, you might be thinking, “This sounds nice, but it’s easy to say when everything’s going well. What if I have cancer? How could I possibly be happy in a situation like that?”

It seems almost impossible to imagine being happy when life gives you a diagnosis like cancer. The treatments, the uncertainty, the fear of death, the physical toll—it can feel like your world is falling apart. But here’s where true strength lies: even in the darkest of times, it’s still possible to find peace.


Take, for example, the story of Lisa, a woman who was diagnosed with advanced cancer. At first, she spiraled into fear, anger, and despair. But over time, she learned to embrace her situation with grace. She stopped trying to control the outcome of her illness and instead focused on the present moment. She reveled in the beauty of simple things: the warmth of the sun on her face, the laughter of her children, the comfort of a good book. She accepted her illness without judgment and found joy in the moments that mattered most.


Lisa also practiced gratitude—not for the disease itself, but for the lessons it taught her about resilience, love, and the preciousness of life. By focusing on what she could control—her attitude, her self-care, her relationships—she found peace, even in the midst of her struggle.


It’s not that she wasn’t terrified or that her life wasn’t deeply affected by cancer; it’s that she allowed herself to find happiness in spite of it. True happiness isn’t the absence of pain, but the ability to find peace and joy despite it.


Happiness Is Not a Destination


The truth is, happiness doesn’t depend on external circumstances. It comes from within, and it’s available to you right now. Whether you’re broke, heartbroken, or facing a life-threatening illness, you can still find peace and joy. Happiness is not about the absence of problems but about how you choose to see them.


Life may never be perfect, but you can always be at peace with it. Happiness is a mindset—a way of living, not something you earn or wait for.


So, here’s the real question: If you could find peace and happiness even in the most difficult of circumstances—like a cancer diagnosis—what would you let go of today to make room for more joy? Can you embrace your life as it is, choose to see the good, and trust that things will work out in time?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 7, 2024

Breaking free from loneliness begins with self-compassion and small steps toward connection, whether through new activities, volunteering, or starting conversations. By embracing the journey of personal growth and reaching out, you can transform loneliness into an opportunity for meaningful relationships and a fulfilling life.

Breaking Free from Loneliness: Finding Connection and Living a Fulfilling Life

Loneliness can feel like an endless, deep well—isolating, consuming, and sometimes unbearable. For those without friends or family, the silence can be deafening, and the emotional void even more so. In a world that increasingly emphasizes social connections, it’s easy to feel like you're on the outside looking in. But loneliness, while painful, doesn’t have to define you. In fact, it can be the starting point of a personal transformation—an opportunity to explore deeper connections, personal growth, and ultimately, a fulfilling life.


Understanding Loneliness: More Than Just "Being Alone"


First, let’s acknowledge that loneliness is more than just physical isolation. You could be surrounded by people but still feel profoundly alone. It’s the emotional and mental experience of not feeling understood or supported by others. In many cases, it stems from unmet needs for love, understanding, or shared experiences. When we don't have family or close friends to turn to, it’s easy to internalize this absence and start believing that we’re somehow undeserving of connection.


The Cycle of Isolation


Loneliness can create a vicious cycle. When you're lonely, it can be harder to engage socially. You may avoid social situations for fear of rejection or simply because they feel uncomfortable. This avoidance can lead to even more isolation, reinforcing the belief that connecting with others is too difficult or even impossible.


But breaking the cycle starts with acknowledging that loneliness isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s an emotional state, not a permanent condition. It’s a call for change, and it can be managed, shifted, and overcome with time and effort.


Breaking Free from the Grip of Loneliness


So, how do you begin to break free from loneliness? Here are some actionable steps to start:


  1. Start by Reconnecting with YourselfLoneliness can sometimes mask a deeper disconnection from ourselves. Take time to engage in self-reflection. What are your interests, your passions, your desires? Being alone doesn’t mean being without purpose. Try new hobbies or revisit old ones, read, write, or get creative. The more connected you feel to yourself, the more you'll be able to open up to the possibility of others.


  2. Cultivate Self-CompassionIt’s easy to feel inadequate when you’re lonely. You might wonder, “Why can’t I find friends? Why am I so isolated?” These negative self-judgments only add to the emotional weight of loneliness. Practice self-compassion: treat yourself the way you would a dear friend. Instead of self-criticism, focus on understanding and kindness toward yourself. Building self-compassion creates the mental space necessary to seek connections with others.


  3. Seek Out New Social OpportunitiesIt might feel daunting to take the first step, but seeking new social opportunities can be incredibly rewarding. Look for groups or activities that align with your interests—whether it's a book club, a yoga class, or an online community focused on a hobby you love. Volunteering is another great way to meet new people and form bonds while also contributing to a cause greater than yourself.


  4. Embrace the Power of Small ConnectionsConnection doesn’t have to mean forming a lifelong friendship right away. Start small by initiating casual conversations with people you encounter in your day-to-day life. Whether it's chatting with a barista, a neighbor, or a colleague, these small social interactions can be a stepping stone toward larger connections. Over time, these small interactions build a sense of belonging.


  5. Consider Therapy or CounselingIf you find that loneliness is impacting your mental health or well-being, speaking to a therapist can help. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the roots of your loneliness, develop coping strategies, and create realistic goals for social engagement. A therapist can also help you challenge any negative beliefs you might have about yourself and your ability to connect with others.


  6. Develop Online RelationshipsIn today’s digital age, forming connections online can be just as meaningful as in-person relationships. Platforms like social media, online forums, or video chats provide opportunities to connect with others who share your interests, even if they’re miles away. While it’s important not to rely solely on virtual relationships, they can help fill the void until you're able to cultivate more in-person connections.


  7. Be Patient with the ProcessFinding meaningful connections takes time. It can be frustrating and disheartening when it feels like you're putting in effort without immediate results. But the key to overcoming loneliness is consistency. Be patient with yourself, and take small steps every day toward building new relationships. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and allow yourself to appreciate the journey.


Embracing Life Beyond Loneliness


The journey out of loneliness isn’t always easy, but it is possible. Reaching out, connecting, and finding purpose outside of relationships can be the stepping stones toward breaking free from isolation. You don’t need to have a perfect social circle or a large group of friends to feel complete. It’s about the quality of connections, not the quantity. And remember, building those connections takes time—but every step you take brings you closer to a fulfilling, connected life.


Breaking free from loneliness doesn’t mean you’re “fixed” or that the pain magically disappears. But it does mean you’re taking control of your life, finding new ways to connect, and embracing a future filled with possibility. By being proactive, kind to yourself, and open to new experiences, you can transform loneliness into an opportunity for growth and a life full of connection.


You’re not alone in your loneliness. And more importantly, you have the power to create the connections you need to thrive.


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