Life Challenges | Moody Melon Magazine

The Power of Asking for Help: Why Support Is About Building Strength, Not Fixing Problems

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Dec 1, 2024

Support is about building strength, not simply fixing problems. It empowers us to face challenges on our own by providing encouragement, guidance, and the tools we need to realize our own resilience.

The Power of Forgiveness: Why Letting Go Isn't Always the Answer

We’ve all been there—facing a rough patch where the weight of life’s challenges seems unbearable. Whether it's dealing with stress, a tough breakup, anxiety, or mental health struggles, it's natural to want to turn to loved ones for support. But here's an important distinction: reaching out to others for help doesn't mean relying on them to fix things for you. True support is about turning to those who can help you build your strength and self-worth so that you can ultimately learn how to lift yourself up—and reclaim your own mental health.

The Difference Between Support and Dependency

There’s a fine line between leaning on others for comfort and relying on them to carry the weight of your problems. Support, at its core, is about connection—it’s about having someone to listen, to offer advice, or simply to remind you that you’re not alone. But, relying on loved ones to “fix” your problems can become an emotional crutch that delays personal growth and healing. In fact, relying too much on others to take away your pain or provide solutions can actually lead to feelings of helplessness and dependency.

The ultimate goal is to find strength from within, not just from others. Reaching out should be about gathering the courage to ask for help, knowing that the true work of healing and recovery is yours to do. Loved ones are there to help build you up—not to carry your burdens for you.

The Role of Support in Building Your Inner Strength

When you ask for help from friends, family, or a support system, what you’re really seeking is someone who can hold space for you without taking over your healing process. It’s about sharing your burden so that you don’t feel alone, but still having the autonomy to heal at your own pace. The right kind of support empowers you to stand up for yourself, to understand your worth, and to acknowledge your strength.

For example, imagine reaching out to a friend when you’re struggling with mental health. They might not be able to make the anxiety or depression go away, but they can offer empathy, validate your feelings, and help you brainstorm healthy coping mechanisms. This type of support can act as a catalyst, helping you discover tools you can use independently.

When your friends or family encourage you to take responsibility for your healing, they’re not abandoning you—they’re teaching you to stand strong on your own. They’re helping you realize your inner resilience and self-worth in ways that can ultimately make you stronger. Over time, you begin to see that the power to change lies within you, and external support only amplifies what you already have inside.

How to Use Support as a Stepping Stone to Self-Reliance

If the end goal of reaching out is to reclaim your mental health, how can you use support from others in a way that builds your independence? Here are a few strategies:

1. Seek Guidance, Not a Fix

When you talk to someone about a difficult situation, focus on seeking guidance rather than asking them to provide a solution. Ask for advice, feedback, or even a sounding board, but remember that it’s okay to make your own decisions.

2. Develop Coping Mechanisms

Supportive loved ones can help you identify tools that promote self-care—exercise, journaling, breathing exercises, or therapy. But ultimately, you’re the one who has to practice these skills regularly. Make a commitment to your own healing journey, while appreciating the encouragement your loved ones provide.

3. Learn to Be Your Own Cheerleader

Support from others is powerful, but you are the one who needs to validate your own progress. Celebrate the small victories—getting out of bed, completing a task, or managing a difficult emotion. When you’re able to be kind to yourself, you grow stronger and more confident in your ability to navigate life’s challenges.

4. Give Back to Your Support System

Once you’ve started building your strength and working through your struggles, remember to thank your friends and loved ones for their support. The best way to show gratitude is by doing the work to heal and reclaim your life. Your growth becomes the thank-you gift, proving that their support made a lasting difference in your life.

Reclaiming Your Mental Health: The Ultimate Goal

The ultimate goal of seeking support from loved ones is not to stay in a place of dependency, but to use that support as a tool for self-empowerment. Over time, as you begin to implement the strategies that work for you, you will find that you no longer need others to “fix” your problems. You will learn how to lift yourself up when times get tough. And when you’ve made it through, you can celebrate not only by spending time with those who supported you, but by showing them that you are strong enough to carry the weight on your own.

Healing doesn’t mean you never reach out—it means you reach out with the intention to grow stronger. Support is the bridge, but you are the one who walks across it. By cultivating your own strength, you’ll eventually be able to face whatever life throws at you, knowing that you have the power to overcome it all on your own—and that, ultimately, is the most powerful kind of recovery.

Conclusion

Reaching out for help is not about avoiding your problems or relying on others to carry the load. It’s about building your own strength and resilience, learning from your support system, and eventually learning how to stand on your own two feet. By seeking support and taking responsibility for your own healing, you can reclaim your mental health, rebuild your confidence, and move forward with the knowledge that you have everything within you to thrive.

The best way to say “thank you” to those who have helped you is by living your life to the fullest, healed and whole, and showing them how strong you really are.

Fighting Fear: Nina's Journey of Surviving Cancer

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Aug 29, 2024

Note: This content is fictional and created with the intention to inspire, uplift, and support you on your mental health journey. If it feels discouraging, please feel free to disregard it—your well-being is always the priority.

Fighting Fear: Nina's Journey of Surviving Cancer

Nina never imagined she would face the battle of her life at just 32 years old. A vibrant, ambitious woman with dreams of traveling the world and starting her own business, she was living life to the fullest—until the day she received the life-altering diagnosis: breast cancer.

It all began with a routine check-up. Nina felt a slight lump during her self-exam but dismissed it as nothing serious. However, her doctor urged her to get it checked. The moment she heard the words “invasive ductal carcinoma,” her world turned upside down. Suddenly, her plans for the future felt precarious, and anxiety began to seep into every corner of her life.

In the weeks that followed, Nina was thrust into a whirlwind of appointments, tests, and treatment options. The initial shock morphed into a haze of fear and uncertainty. Would she lose her hair? Would she be able to work? The thought of telling her family and friends left her feeling paralyzed.

Ultimately, Nina chose honesty. She gathered her loved ones for a dinner, her heart racing as she shared her diagnosis. Their responses were overwhelming. Instead of pity, they offered support, love, and encouragement. Her mother vowed to be by her side through every treatment, while her friends organized meal trains and offered to accompany her to appointments. This outpouring of love ignited a spark of hope within Nina.

As she began chemotherapy, the physical and emotional toll was more demanding than she anticipated. The fatigue hit hard, and her body began to change in ways she hadn’t prepared for. But with each treatment, Nina found strength in unexpected places. She discovered that she wasn’t alone in her fight. Joining a support group of fellow survivors provided her with a sense of community. They shared not just their fears, but also their triumphs, and Nina found comfort in their stories.

To cope with the mental strain, Nina embraced practices that grounded her. She took up yoga and meditation, finding solace in the stillness. Each session on her mat became a sanctuary, a place where she could release her worries and connect with her body. She also started a blog—not to journal her experience, but to share her journey openly. Through her writing, she transformed her fear into empowerment, inspiring others facing similar battles.

Nina’s sense of humor became a crucial part of her survival. She began to joke about the quirks of her experience, like her “chemo curls” and the absurdity of the wig she chose. Laughter became a lifeline, a reminder that joy could exist even in the darkest moments.

After a year of intense treatment, the day finally came when Nina received the news she had been waiting for: she was in remission. The relief was palpable, but it also brought about a new set of emotions. While many celebrated her victory, Nina grappled with the aftermath. She realized that surviving cancer was just the beginning of a new journey—one of redefining herself and her purpose.

Determined to make the most of her second chance, Nina became an advocate for cancer awareness. She spoke at events, shared her story on social media, and volunteered with organizations dedicated to helping others navigate their cancer journeys. Through her advocacy, she transformed her pain into purpose, finding fulfillment in supporting those still fighting.

Today, Nina embraces life with a renewed sense of gratitude. She travels, chases her dreams, and cherishes the relationships that deepened during her battle. Her journey taught her resilience, the importance of community, and the power of laughter. As she reflects on her experience, Nina hopes to inspire others facing their own battles to find strength in vulnerability and to never underestimate the power of love and support in healing.

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