Neurodiversity | Moody Melon Magazine

Navigating the Journey: How to Support Your Newly Diagnosed Autistic Child

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Jan 19

Supporting your newly diagnosed autistic child requires understanding their unique needs and creating an environment where they feel safe, valued, and understood.

Navigating the Journey: How to Support Your Newly Diagnosed Autistic Child

When you first receive the diagnosis that your child is autistic, the world can suddenly feel like it’s tilted on its axis. The whirlwind of emotions, questions, and unknowns can be overwhelming. How will you help your child navigate a world that often feels designed for others? How can you ensure they not only survive, but thrive?

The good news is that with the right knowledge, mindset, and support, you can become your child’s most powerful advocate. Your role as a parent will evolve, but it can be the most fulfilling and transformative journey for both you and your child. Let’s dive into some of the essential ways you can support your newly diagnosed autistic child.

1. Shift Your Perspective: Embrace the Neurodiversity Paradigm

It’s natural for parents to feel concerned when they first learn of their child’s autism diagnosis. But instead of viewing autism as something that needs to be “fixed,” it’s crucial to embrace the concept of neurodiversity — the idea that neurological differences, such as autism, are simply variations of human experience. Autistic children may experience the world differently, but their differences are not deficits.

Shifting your perspective allows you to focus on your child's strengths and unique abilities, rather than focusing solely on the challenges. This mindset can not only ease your worries but also help your child develop a sense of pride in their identity.

2. Learn to Listen: Communication is Key

Autistic children communicate in diverse ways. Some may speak fluently, while others may use gestures, sign language, or augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices. As a parent, one of the most important things you can do is learn to listen beyond the words.

Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, or sensory triggers. Respect their communication style, and try not to impose expectations or rush them to speak in ways that feel unnatural. Supportive listening builds trust and strengthens the parent-child bond, laying the foundation for future communication.

3. Create Predictable Routines

Children on the autism spectrum often thrive in structured environments. Predictable routines can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of safety and security. Simple daily schedules, such as consistent wake-up times, mealtimes, and bedtime routines, help your child feel grounded.

If changes to the routine are inevitable — which they often are — give your child advanced notice whenever possible. Use visual schedules or social stories to help them understand the change and what to expect.

Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity; it means creating an environment where your child feels supported and in control, even when life presents the unexpected.

4. Understand Sensory Needs: Create a Calming Environment

Sensory sensitivities are common in children with autism. Your child may be hypersensitive (overreacting) or hyposensitive (underreacting) to sensory stimuli, such as sounds, textures, or lights. These sensitivities can affect everything from clothing choices to their reactions in noisy or crowded environments.

As a parent, you’ll need to learn which sensory experiences are most challenging for your child. You can help by offering noise-canceling headphones, creating a “quiet zone” in your home, or allowing your child to use a weighted blanket if they need extra comfort.

Additionally, providing sensory breaks throughout the day can be helpful. Activities like swinging, jumping, or fidgeting with a stress ball can help your child manage sensory overload and stay calm during moments of overwhelm.

5. Build Social Skills at Your Child’s Pace

Social interactions can sometimes be a source of stress for autistic children, as they might struggle to read social cues or understand the unwritten rules of social engagement. As a parent, it’s essential to be patient and create opportunities for your child to practice social skills in a low-pressure environment.

Start by arranging playdates or social events with understanding peers who are supportive and empathetic. Guide your child through appropriate social behaviors like taking turns or making eye contact, but don’t rush the process. Social skills will develop at your child’s own pace, and there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach.

6. Advocate for Your Child’s Needs

One of the most important roles you can take on as a parent is being your child’s advocate. This means ensuring they have access to the right educational resources, therapies, and accommodations they need to succeed. It might involve working with teachers, therapists, or doctors to create an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or advocating for changes in the classroom or home environment that better support your child’s sensory or communication needs.

Remember, you are the expert on your child. Trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to speak up when something doesn’t feel right. As your child’s first and most important ally, your voice matters.

7. Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a newly diagnosed child can be emotionally and physically draining. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and find time to recharge. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, it’s harder to be present for your child.

Find a support network, whether it’s through online communities, support groups, or close friends and family members. Connecting with other parents who are going through similar experiences can provide valuable insights and emotional support.

It’s also okay to seek professional help if you need it. Therapy or counseling can help you process your emotions, manage stress, and develop coping strategies to navigate the challenges ahead.

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Every milestone your child reaches, no matter how small, deserves to be celebrated. Whether it’s learning to tie their shoes, having a successful playdate, or simply making eye contact, these victories are worth acknowledging. Celebrating small wins fosters a positive mindset and reinforces your child’s confidence.

In Conclusion

Parenting a newly diagnosed autistic child is a journey full of discovery, challenges, and growth. By embracing neurodiversity, creating a structured environment, and advocating for your child’s needs, you can help them navigate the world in a way that allows them to flourish. Remember, every child is unique, and your love and patience will go a long way in helping them develop into the best version of themselves.

Are you ready to embark on the journey of acceptance and growth alongside your child, and what will you do to ensure they feel understood every step of the way?

Breaking the Chains: Why Restraints on Autistic Individuals are Harmful and How We Can Do Better

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Dec 4, 2024

Restraints on autistic individuals are harmful because they can cause physical and emotional trauma, reinforcing feelings of fear, isolation, and helplessness. Instead of addressing the root causes of distress, restraints ignore the individual's need for understanding and respectful communication, ultimately hindering their ability to express themselves effectively.

Breaking the Chains: Why Restraints on Autistic Individuals are Harmful and How We Can Do Better

Autism is a spectrum, and every individual experiences it uniquely. For some, communication is not verbal—it’s non-verbal, and it can be a constant struggle to connect with others in the way that is considered “typical.” This is especially true for nonverbal individuals with autism who cannot express themselves using words. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t have thoughts, feelings, or desires. They hear everything, understand much more than we often assume, and feel pain, fear, and confusion just like anyone else. One of the most disturbing practices in the treatment of people with autism—particularly those who are nonverbal—is the use of restraints. These physical restrictions can be incredibly harmful, both physically and emotionally, and cause long-lasting trauma.

The Harm of Physical Restraints

The use of restraints—whether they’re physical, mechanical, or chemical—is often seen as a way to control behavior, but it is a short-sighted approach that doesn't take into account the true needs of the individual. For nonverbal autistic individuals, especially those who are unable to advocate for themselves in the moment, restraints can be traumatizing. Restraints don’t address the root cause of the behavior and often escalate feelings of fear and helplessness. Not only does this reinforce the idea that their behavior is "wrong" or "inappropriate," but it also reinforces the belief that their pain and needs are invisible.

What many fail to realize is that nonverbal individuals with autism understand everything happening around them. The notion that they cannot comprehend their environment or the actions of others is a misconception. They may not speak, but they hear and process what is going on around them. Forcing them into a physically restrictive state or punishing them for things beyond their control only adds to their sense of isolation, distress, and trauma. This trauma can have long-term effects, including increased anxiety, a diminished sense of self-worth, and a lack of trust in others, including caregivers and support systems.

The Power of Communication

Just because someone is nonverbal doesn’t mean they cannot communicate. In fact, many nonverbal individuals with autism are able to express themselves through alternative communication methods. Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) tools such as electronic devices, communication boards, and speech-generating devices allow people to express their needs, desires, and frustrations in a way that is both empowering and effective.

AAC tools are a game-changer, but they require patience, understanding, and time to master. They give individuals the means to communicate their thoughts, make decisions, and participate in the world on their terms. As a society, it’s crucial that we create environments that support and encourage these forms of communication, rather than relying on antiquated and harmful practices like restraints.

How We Can Be Better

So how can we do better as caregivers, educators, and society? It starts with recognizing the inherent worth of every individual, regardless of their communication style. For nonverbal autistic individuals, it’s important to approach them with patience and respect. Rather than assuming they cannot understand, we need to listen, observe, and find ways to empower them to express themselves.

Here are a few ways we can be better allies:

Respect Their Autonomy: Always ask permission before touching or moving someone. Consent is important, especially for individuals who may not be able to verbally express discomfort or resistance.
Listen to Their Communication: Whether it's through gestures, eye contact, or the use of communication devices, pay attention to the signals they are giving. Every individual communicates in a way that works for them, and we need to be willing to understand and interpret their unique forms of communication.
Provide Alternative Forms of Communication: Support nonverbal individuals with autism in learning and using AAC devices. These devices allow them to have a voice and feel heard. Don’t wait for them to “fit into a box” of what is considered “normal” communication. Understand that their method of communication is valid.
Create Safe, Supportive Environments: Instead of relying on restraints when behaviors become challenging, focus on creating an environment where individuals feel safe and supported. This includes reducing sensory overload, creating calming spaces, and using positive behavioral interventions that focus on teaching skills and building trust.
Educate and Raise Awareness: The more we learn about autism, especially the nonverbal spectrum, the more we can create inclusive environments that are truly supportive. We need to challenge the harmful stereotypes that prevent us from seeing the full humanity of autistic individuals.

A Call to Action

Restraints are a damaging practice that doesn’t reflect the dignity or humanity of individuals with autism. By shifting our mindset and using more compassionate, communicative approaches, we can create a world where nonverbal individuals with autism can feel heard, understood, and respected. Their struggles are real, but they are not helpless. They deserve our patience, our respect, and our willingness to do better.

The next time you’re working with or supporting a nonverbal individual, remember: They hear you, they understand you, and they deserve a chance to communicate in their own way. Let’s stop seeing them as “silent” and start listening. Let’s create a world where everyone’s voice—no matter how it’s expressed—matters.

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