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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Apr 19

Surviving solo parenting means learning to celebrate small wins, like getting through the day with everyone fed and safe. There’s no manual for this, but with patience, grit, and a little self-compassion, you can find strength you didn’t know you had.

When You're Doing It All Alone: Surviving the Mental Load of Solo Parenting

There are days when it feels like the walls are closing in. The toddler won’t nap, the kitchen is a disaster, the laundry has become its own ecosystem, and you haven’t sat down—let alone showered—in what feels like days. There’s no help coming. No partner walking through the door to tag in, no grandparent on call, no babysitter to offer relief. The house is loud, messy, and so very full of needs—but there’s no room left for you.


This is the unfiltered, unromantic side of parenting that rarely makes it into Instagram captions or parenting books: the deep, relentless isolation of doing it all alone.



How It Impacts Your Mental Health


When every ounce of your time is claimed by tiny hands, your mental health can quietly slip through the cracks. You stop noticing how tense your shoulders feel. You lose interest in things you once loved. Work becomes a guilt-ridden juggle (if you can even get to it), and the idea of fun? Laughable. There’s no room for play or peace when you’re constantly firefighting. Over time, this wears on even the strongest, most loving parents. Exhaustion becomes your baseline, and burnout begins to look like your new personality.


What If No One Is Coming to Help?


So how do you come back from this—when no one is coming to rescue you? The answer isn’t about finding a village. It's about becoming your own backup system. The first step is lowering the bar, without shame. Perfection is not the goal—preservation is. Ask yourself what truly matters today. Is it a spotless floor, or a moment of stillness with your child? Is it folding laundry, or taking five minutes to breathe? Give yourself permission to let some things go. Survival is success.



Build Tiny Systems That Serve You


Next, build in tiny rituals that serve you. They don’t have to be glamorous or time-consuming. Light a candle at the end of the day to mark the fact that you made it. Blast music while you clean just one corner of the house. Keep your favorite snack stashed out of reach of tiny fingers. Reclaim one small thing that belongs just to you. These micro-moments matter more than you think—they are acts of resistance against the overwhelm.


Mental Health Hacks You Can Actually Use


Mental wellness in solo parenting doesn't mean never feeling tired or frustrated. It means having tiny tools in your back pocket to ground you. Practice "box breathing" (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) while your toddler screams. Write out a brain dump before bed to quiet the mental spiral. Keep a “peace basket” of toys that buys you 15 minutes to sit, breathe, or do something small for yourself. Your toolkit doesn’t have to be big—it just has to be yours.


Affirmations for the Days That Break You


When the noise gets too loud, come back to affirmations. Not the cheesy kind, but the kind that hold you steady:


  • “I’m not failing—this is just hard.”

  • “My child doesn’t need perfect, they need loved.”

  • “It’s okay to feel tired. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong.”

  • “I’m doing more than enough with what I have.”


Write them on sticky notes. Set them as phone reminders. Whisper them to yourself when the silence finally comes.


Coming Back Strong, One Moment at a Time


Coming back strong doesn’t mean leaping out of burnout in one dramatic moment. It means slowly, quietly rebuilding your energy one small win at a time. Let yourself celebrate what you did do today. The lunch you made. The tears you soothed. The meltdown you survived. The laugh you shared. These things matter. They count.


You may not have help. You may not have time. But you have something powerful: the ability to get back up, again and again. And that is nothing short of heroic.


A Question Worth Asking


What if the real mark of a strong parent isn’t how well they do it all—but how bravely they do it alone?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 4, 2024
Routine Your Way to Relaxation: The Stress-Reducing Power of Daily Habits

Let’s face it: life can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride, complete with unexpected twists, turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. While we may not be able to control the ride, we can certainly make the journey a lot smoother by establishing routines! Think of routines as your trusty seatbelt—keeping you secure when everything else feels chaotic. Here’s how establishing routines can help you cope with stress and anxiety, with a sprinkle of fun along the way!


1. Morning Magic: Set the Tone for Your Day

Imagine waking up to a symphony of chirping birds and the smell of freshly brewed coffee (or tea, if that’s your jam). Establishing a morning routine not only gives you a sense of control but also sets a positive tone for the day ahead. Try this:


- Wake Up and Shake Up: Start your day with a quick stretch or a dance to your favorite upbeat song. Not only will you feel more energized, but it’s a fantastic way to shake off those sleepy cobwebs!


- Mindful Moments: Dedicate a few minutes to mindfulness or meditation. Even a short session can help clear your mind and ease anxiety before you tackle the day.


2. Work It Out: Create a Productive Workspace

Setting up a designated workspace is like creating your own little productivity fortress. Here’s how to make the most of it:


- Organize Your Space: A clutter-free desk can do wonders for your mental clarity. Plus, it makes finding that elusive pen way easier!


- Schedule Breaks: Set a timer for 25 minutes of focused work followed by a 5-minute break (hello, Pomodoro Technique!). Use those breaks to stretch, grab a snack, or do a silly dance. Trust us, your brain will thank you!


3. Lunch Like a Boss: Nourish Your Body and Mind

When lunchtime rolls around, don’t just grab whatever is closest to you. Make it a part of your routine to enjoy a well-deserved break:


- Pack a Fun Lunch: Get creative! Make a colorful bento box or try out that Pinterest recipe you’ve been eyeing. Eating well nourishes not just your body, but your mind, too.


- Socialize (or Solo Time): Whether you’re catching up with friends or enjoying some peaceful solitude, take this time to recharge. Laugh, chat, or just enjoy a moment of stillness—your stress levels will appreciate it!


4. Wind Down: Evening Rituals for Relaxation

As the sun sets, it’s time to transition from the hustle and bustle of the day to relaxation mode. Here’s how to establish a calming evening routine:


- Digital Detox: An hour before bed, unplug from screens. Instead, pick up a book, do some light stretching, or even try your hand at coloring. Yes, adult coloring books are a thing, and they’re fabulously soothing!


- Gratitude Practice: Before you drift off, jot down three things you’re grateful for. It’s a simple way to end the day on a positive note and reduce anxiety.


5. Keep It Flexible: Adjusting Your Routine

Remember, the beauty of routines is that they can be as flexible as a yoga instructor! If something isn’t working for you, feel free to change it up. Routines should serve you, not the other way around. Try new things and see what sticks. Maybe a morning dance party is just what you need, or perhaps evening yoga calms your mind.


Conclusion: Your Routine, Your Rhythm

Establishing routines doesn’t have to feel like a chore; think of it as creating your own rhythm in life! By adding structure to your days, you can manage stress and anxiety more effectively, leaving you with more time to enjoy the fun stuff—like that Netflix binge or that new hobby you’ve been wanting to explore.


So, what are you waiting for? Grab a planner, get those creative juices flowing, and start crafting a routine that suits you. Your future self (and your stress levels) will thank you!


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
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  • Oct 8, 2024
Together We Thrive: The Power of Social Connection in Stress Management

Hey there, social butterfly (or maybe a social caterpillar just waiting to spread your wings)! Feeling overwhelmed by the stresses of life? Guess what? You’re not alone! Connecting with others is one of the most powerful coping mechanisms out there. So let’s dive into why social connection is your secret weapon against stress and anxiety—and how to make the most of it!


The Power of Togetherness


You might be wondering, “What’s the big deal about social connections?” Well, here’s the scoop: humans are social creatures by nature. We thrive on interactions with others, and those connections can be a lifesaver during tough times. Here’s why socializing is so beneficial:


1. Emotional Support Squad: Friends, family, or even your favorite barista can provide a shoulder to cry on (or a pep talk when you need it). Sharing your feelings can lighten the load and help you see things from a different perspective.


2. Distraction from Worry: When you’re busy chatting, laughing, or playing games, you’re less likely to dwell on stressors. It’s like a mini-vacation for your mind!


3. Increased Happiness: Studies show that socializing releases oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and boosts your mood. So, when you hang out with friends, you’re not just having fun—you’re actively working on your happiness!


4. Sense of Belonging: Being part of a community makes you feel connected and valued. Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or a virtual group, knowing you belong somewhere can ease feelings of loneliness and anxiety.


Fun Ways to Foster Social Connections


Ready to boost your social life and tackle stress? Here are some fun and easy ways to connect with others!


1. Host a Game Night


Gather your friends for a game night! Whether it’s board games, card games, or video games, friendly competition is a great way to bond and share some laughs. Bonus: Pizza and snacks make everything better!


2. Join a Club or Class


Explore your interests by joining a club or taking a class! Whether it’s painting, hiking, or cooking, you’ll meet people with similar passions. Plus, you’ll learn something new—talk about a double win!


3. Get Active Together


Exercise doesn’t have to be a solo activity. Grab a workout buddy and hit the gym, go for a run, or take a dance class. You’ll motivate each other and have a blast while sweating it out!


4. Start a Virtual Hangout


Can’t meet in person? No problem! Set up a virtual hangout with friends. Play online games, watch a movie together, or just catch up over video chat. Technology is your friend in keeping those connections alive!


5. Volunteer Together


Giving back to your community is a fantastic way to bond with others while making a positive impact. Find a cause you’re passionate about and recruit some friends to join you. You’ll create lasting memories while helping those in need.


Nurturing Your Connections


Now that you’re equipped with fun ways to connect, remember that nurturing these relationships is key. Here are some tips to keep your social connections strong:


- Check-In Regularly: A simple text or call to see how someone is doing can go a long way. It shows you care and keeps the friendship alive.


- Plan Regular Get-Togethers: Make it a habit to schedule regular catch-ups, whether it’s weekly, biweekly, or monthly. Having something to look forward to can brighten your mood!


- Be Present: When you’re with others, be fully present. Put down your phone and engage in the conversation. Active listening shows that you value your time together.


Conclusion


There you have it—social connections are a powerful tool for managing stress and anxiety! By nurturing relationships and seeking out new connections, you’re not only enriching your life but also building a strong support network to help you through tough times. So reach out, laugh a little, and remember: you’re never truly alone when you’ve got your squad by your side. Let’s thrive together! 🌟👫💖


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