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Alone in the Crowd: The Hidden Crisis of College Loneliness

  • Writer: Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
    Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
  • Apr 23

Being surrounded by thousands of classmates yet feeling invisible is one of college’s cruelest paradoxes. From packed lecture halls to buzzing residence halls, campus life can look like a nonstop social highlight reel—so why do so many students stay up scrolling, wondering why no one really knows them?

Alone in the Crowd: The Hidden Crisis of College Loneliness

Orientation leaders swear you’ll make lifelong friends in the first week. TikTok shows dorm‐room dance parties on repeat. Yet after the icebreakers fade, you may find yourself eating alone, drifting through conversations that never get past “major and hometown.” You start to ask, Is everyone bonding except me?


Loneliness isn’t an admission of failure; it’s an unmet human need. The ache you feel in your chest when you swipe through Insta Stories on a Friday night isn’t melodrama—it’s your brain signaling it’s wired for connection and not getting enough of it.


The Myth of Automatic Community


We assume proximity equals friendship: put young adults in one place and relationships will bloom. But real connection demands more than shared Wi‐Fi. It takes vulnerability, repeated exposure, mutual effort—ingredients hard to find when classes rotate every semester and everyone’s juggling packed schedules.


Many students hit a lonely wall not because they’re socially inept, but because they expected friendships to form as effortlessly as freshman orientation promised. Spoiler: deep community is built, not assigned.


Social Media: The Mirage That Intensifies the Drought


Your feed isn’t lying—people are hanging out. What it hides is the downtime between snapshots, the awkward “Wanna grab lunch?” rejections, the homesick FaceTimes no one posts. Comparison turns loneliness into shame: If I were more fun, smarter, hotter... I’d be invited too.


Remember: online popularity rarely translates to offline intimacy. Those highlight reels can mask the same isolation you feel.


The Health Cost of Being “Fine”


Persistent loneliness lights up the same pain circuits as physical injury. It spikes cortisol, disrupts sleep, and can nudge mild sadness toward clinical depression. Left unchecked, it chips away at self‐esteem, making it even scarier to reach out—an emotional Catch‐22.


Micro‐Connections: The Antidote You Can Actually Control


Grand gestures aren’t required; consistency is. Try:


● The Two‐Minute Rule: Chat with a classmate before or after every lecture—ask about an upcoming exam, their project topic, a show they’re watching. Two minutes over six weeks equals an hour‐long foundation for friendship.


● Shared Silence: Study in the same spot at the library. Familiar faces breed comfort; comfort opens doors to conversation.


● Interest Stacking: Join clubs that overlap two passions (e.g., hiking and photography). Niche groups accelerate bonding because you skip small talk and dive into shared enthusiasm.


It Can’t Be One‐Sided Work


If you’re always initiating, resentment creeps in: Why am I the planner? Healthy friendship is reciprocal. Notice who follows up, who remembers details, who texts first sometimes. Invest where energy flows both ways.


Conversely, if you rarely initiate, challenge yourself: send one invite a week, even if your voice trembles. Relationships thrive on mutual bids for connection.


When Loneliness Persists, Seek Backup


If weeks pass and the heaviness won’t lift, tap the resources already baked into tuition:


● Counseling Center appointments (usually free or low‐cost).


● Peer‐support groups for transfer students, first‐gen scholars, LGBTQ+ community, or international students.


● Resident assistants trained to notice isolation and plug you into events.


Keeping the Flame of Friendship Alive Amid Midterms


Once connections spark, protect them from academic wildfire:


● Co‐Study Dates: Turn grind time into shared time. Even silent work builds camaraderie.


● Walk‐and‐Talks: Swap coffee meetups for campus loops - movement boosts mood and conversation flow.


● Calendar It: Put “friend maintenance” on the same planning app that tracks quizzes. Intention beats spontaneity when schedules clash.


One Last Question


If you believed loneliness was a signal—not a verdict—that you deserve deeper connection, what brave, small step would you take on campus today to answer that call?


Carlie Malott

Carlie Malott

Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I’m a junior at Colorado College studying Psychology and Education. Passionate about mental health, I believe normalizing conversations about struggles fosters belonging and hope—values I strive to integrate into all my work.



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Depression in College: My Hallmate Maya's Story (and What We Can All Learn)

  • Writer: Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
    Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
  • Mar 7
The Night Owl’s Dilemma: How I Finally Made Peace with Sleep in College

Ever since my hallmate, Maya, started her freshman year at college, I could tell something was up. At first, I thought she was just tired from all the late-night study sessions. But as the weeks went on, she stayed in her bed a lot, skipped meals, and hardly left our dorm. She told me she felt like she was “sinking in quicksand,” and that’s when I realized she was dealing with something way more serious than stress or a bad mood - she was battling depression.


A Peek into Our Dorm Life


Living near Maya made me see the raw side of mental health struggles. She’d stay awake all night, then sleep through most of the day. When she did get up, she’d often say she didn’t feel “worthy” to hang out with others or join group projects. Watching her beat herself up like that broke my heart. I tried to be there for her with little things: bringing her tea, inviting her to watch silly reality TV, or suggesting short walks around campus. Sometimes she’d smile and come along. Other times, she’d just shake her head and say she was too tired.


Why College Feels So Overwhelming


I always wondered why depression can feel so much heavier in college. I’ve heard counselors say it’s because our schedules are crazy, and there’s a ton of pressure to figure out our futures - like, who even knows what they want to do with their life at 19? We also have social media making everything look perfect, which can make real life seem super disappointing. Maya told me she felt like everyone around her was “crushing it” while she was struggling to get through a single day.



On top of that, many students juggle part-time jobs or internships while also taking challenging classes. There’s barely any time to step back and breathe. Dorm rooms become mini-offices, and we end up doing homework on top of laundry or skipping meals to finish group projects.


That hustle culture can totally mess with our heads.


Therapeutic Techniques that Help


I’m not an expert, but after watching Maya explore different therapy options, I’ve learned a few cool methods. I even tried some of these techniques myself because, let’s be real, college can make us all a little anxious.


1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Maya started talking to a campus counselor who introduced her to CBT. It basically teaches you to catch the negative thoughts in your head and replace them with more realistic ones. She said it was like “rewiring a bad signal” in her brain.


2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT focuses on coping strategies - especially for super intense emotions. Maya learned skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation, which helped her stay calm when she felt an emotional storm brewing.


3. Guided Imagery and Meditation: Our gym hosted a weekly relaxation circle. We’d lie on yoga mats, close our eyes, and imagine peaceful places - like a beach at sunrise or a quiet forest trail. It sounded cheesy at first, but just 15 minutes of calm made a huge difference in our stress levels.


New Innovations in Therapy


There are also some techy ways people are getting support:


● Teletherapy & Apps: With busy schedules, sometimes it’s impossible to visit an in-person therapist. Maya used an online counseling service through our university. There are also apps with guided breathing exercises, CBT journaling prompts, or mood trackers - pretty cool for managing mental health on the go.


● Campus Wellness Hubs: Our school just launched something called a “Wellness Studio,” where students can try light therapy for seasonal depression or use VR headsets for guided meditation. Maya said sitting in front of a bright light on cloudy days helped boost her mood.


Mental Health in the Workplace (Yes, Even for Internships!)


We also realized that mental health matters beyond campus. A lot of us are doing internships or part-time jobs. Stress doesn’t magically stop when you’re off campus; it can follow you to your workplace. Maya had a meltdown during her internship because she was scared of messing up.


She started talking openly with her supervisor (which felt huge because it’s scary to be vulnerable), and the supervisor was really understanding - letting her take short mental health breaks during the day. This taught me that workplaces are slowly becoming more aware of the importance of mental well-being.


Stories of Healing and Hope


While depression is tough, I’ve seen hope in Maya’s journey. She says she still feels sad sometimes, but she’s learned to spot the warning signs - like wanting to isolate for days - and reach out for help sooner. Our dorm is far from perfect, but we’re learning to watch out for each other. If we see someone missing from the dining hall for too long, we’ll knock on their door or send a friendly text.


Other students shared how group therapy sessions, supportive professors, or even a campus dog therapy event helped them find moments of relief. Everyone’s story is different, but one thing’s the same: nobody has to go through it alone.



A Final Word: You’re Not Alone


If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re drowning in your own thoughts, please remember that there’s always someone ready to listen. Whether it’s a friend, a professor, a therapist, or even a roommate who brings you random cups of tea - people do care.


College is hard, yes, but it’s also a place where you can discover the right support for your mental health.


If Maya can push through the dark days and find a path to feeling stronger, maybe you can, too. Don’t be afraid to reach out, explore new therapeutic techniques, or just ask for a hug when you need it. Your mental well-being matters, and there are so many resources out there waiting to help you find your way.

Carlie Malott

Carlie Malott

Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I’m a junior at Colorado College studying Psychology and Education. Passionate about mental health, I believe normalizing conversations about struggles fosters belonging and hope—values I strive to integrate into all my work.



More Related Articles:

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