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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 28, 2024

The Power of Intentional Self-Care lies in its ability to transform our mental and emotional well-being by consciously nurturing ourselves, rather than waiting for burnout to strike. By integrating mindful practices into our daily routine, we tap into a deeper level of resilience and inner peace, empowering us to face life's challenges with a clearer, calmer mindset.

New Year, New You: The Power of Intentional Self-Care

As the calendar flips to a new year, many of us find ourselves swept up in the whirlwind of fresh starts, resolutions, and promises to be our best selves. But amidst all the hustle to 'improve,' there’s one thing that often gets overlooked: self-care. Sure, it’s easy to add "exercise more" or "eat better" to the list, but how often do we stop to reflect on our mental and emotional well-being? In a world that’s constantly moving forward, self-care has become an essential tool for reclaiming balance, fostering growth, and truly taking care of ourselves.


Why Self-Care is More Important Than Ever


When it comes to mental health, self-care isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. In fact, research shows that prioritizing our well-being can have a profound impact on everything from stress levels to our overall sense of happiness. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, regular self-care helps lower anxiety, improve mood, and even boost productivity.


The reality is, the modern world asks a lot of us: we juggle careers, relationships, personal goals, and the constant pressure of social media. And while we're trying to be all things to all people, we often forget the most important thing – taking care of ourselves first. That’s where intentional self-care comes in.


Reframing Self-Care: It’s More Than Bubble Baths and Face Masks


While a soothing bath or indulging in a skincare routine are wonderful forms of self-care, they don’t define it. True self-care goes much deeper than just pampering. It's about creating sustainable habits that nourish your mental, emotional, and physical health. So, let’s reframe self-care for the New Year as a holistic practice that nurtures your body, mind, and soul.


Here are five meaningful self-care practices to kick off the year:


1. Practice Mindful Breathing


One of the simplest yet most effective forms of self-care is mindful breathing. This technique helps reduce anxiety, calm the nervous system, and bring you back to the present moment. It’s especially useful during moments of stress. Set aside a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Doing this for just five minutes can shift your entire mood.


2. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)


Learning to say no is an act of self-care that protects your mental space and energy. Whether it’s a work request, social obligation, or even a family commitment, setting clear boundaries ensures that you’re not overextending yourself. Boundaries allow you to prioritize your well-being, helping you focus on what truly matters without feeling overwhelmed.


3. Get Comfortable with Doing Nothing


We’re often so caught up in productivity that we forget the importance of rest. Taking time to do nothing can actually be incredibly restorative. Whether it’s laying on the couch, staring at the sky, or simply sitting in silence, allowing yourself to rest without feeling guilty is essential for mental health. Embrace moments of stillness – they provide clarity and recharge your emotional reserves.



4. Feed Your Body, Mind, and Soul


Self-care isn’t just about what you put on your skin, but what you put in your body and mind. Nourish yourself with whole, nutritious foods that energize your body. Challenge your mind with new books, puzzles, or learning opportunities. And take time to feed your soul with activities that bring you joy, whether it’s creative hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or connecting with nature.


5. Make Time for Reflection


Self-care also means making space for self-reflection. Take a few moments each day or week to check in with yourself. How are you feeling mentally and emotionally? Are you happy with the direction your life is taking? Writing in a journal or simply sitting with your thoughts can help you better understand your needs and desires.


The Power of Self-Compassion


At the heart of self-care is self-compassion. It’s about accepting yourself as you are – flaws, imperfections, and all. So many of us struggle with harsh self-criticism, but being kind to yourself is essential for true healing. In the coming year, try replacing negative self-talk with affirmations of love and acceptance. When you treat yourself with kindness, you open the door to a healthier, more balanced life.


In Conclusion: Self-Care is a Lifelong Journey


As you step into the new year, remember that self-care is not a one-time fix or a checklist to be completed. It’s a lifelong practice of tuning into your needs, respecting your limits, and prioritizing your well-being. By making self-care a regular part of your routine, you’ll create a solid foundation for mental and emotional health in 2024 and beyond.


The question is: How will you commit to taking care of yourself this year?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 10, 2024

With the right support, mindset, and coping strategies, it’s possible to overcome the struggle of binge eating disorder and regain control over your life and your relationship with food. By addressing the emotional triggers and practicing self-compassion, individuals can learn how to overcome the struggle of binge eating disorder and create a healthier, more balanced way of living.

Resilience in Action: How to Stay Positive, Social, and Empowered While Navigating Disability

Binge eating disorder (BED) is one of the most common but often misunderstood eating disorders. Unlike the physical act of overeating occasionally or indulging in comfort food, BED is marked by recurring episodes of consuming large quantities of food, often in secret, and accompanied by a loss of control. Those who struggle with this disorder often experience intense feelings of shame, guilt, and frustration afterward, which can trap them in a cycle of emotional eating and self-blame.


For many, binge eating feels like a battle that can’t be won—a seemingly endless struggle to regain control over their bodies and their eating habits. But reclaiming power over this cycle is not only possible—it’s a journey that requires self-awareness, patience, and compassion. Here’s how to start breaking free, even when it feels overwhelming.


1. Understanding the Root Causes: It’s Not Just About Food


The first step in overcoming binge eating disorder is recognizing that it’s not simply about food or the need to eat. BED is often a way of coping with deep emotional pain, stress, trauma, or even boredom. People struggling with BED often use food as a way to numb uncomfortable feelings, soothe anxiety, or provide a temporary escape from life’s pressures.


Food becomes a means of emotional regulation rather than nourishment, creating a disordered relationship with eating. This disconnection between body and mind makes it hard to recognize hunger signals, leading to episodes of uncontrollable eating.


Understanding this is vital because the key to breaking free from binge eating is addressing the underlying emotional triggers, not just the behavior itself.


2. Stop the Shame: Replace Guilt with Compassion


One of the most debilitating aspects of binge eating disorder is the shame and guilt that often follows a binge episode. After eating large amounts of food, feelings of self-loathing can flood in, making the person feel helpless, weak, or "out of control." But shame only fuels the cycle—it leads to more self-punishment, more binges, and further negative thinking.


Instead of berating yourself after a binge, try to approach it with compassion. Remind yourself that binge eating is not a reflection of your worth or character. It’s a coping mechanism for deeper emotional issues that can be addressed with time, support, and the right strategies. Practice self-compassion by recognizing that everyone struggles with something, and that healing is a process, not a perfect outcome.


Start by rethinking your inner dialogue. Replace "I can’t believe I did that" with "I’m learning how to take control, and this is part of the journey." With each small step toward healing, you're gaining more power over the behaviors that once felt out of reach.


3. Regain Control: The Power of Mindful Eating


Mindful eating is one of the most powerful tools in overcoming binge eating disorder. Mindfulness involves paying full attention to the present moment without judgment, and it can help create a healthier, more conscious relationship with food.


When you practice mindful eating, you slow down, focus on the sensory experience of eating, and tune in to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. It helps to create space between the emotional triggers that might cause you to binge and the act of eating itself. With time, this practice can help you rebuild trust in your body’s signals and regain control over when, how, and why you eat.


Here are some simple ways to incorporate mindful eating:


  • Sit down to eat: Avoid eating while distracted or standing, as this can lead to overeating and mindless consumption.


  • Focus on your food: Pay attention to taste, texture, and aroma. Chew slowly, savoring each bite.


  • Check in with your body: Ask yourself how hungry you are on a scale from 1 to 10, and stop eating when you're satisfied—not stuffed.


4. Address Emotional Triggers: Finding Healthy Coping Mechanisms


As mentioned, binge eating often comes from a place of emotional distress. Whether it's stress, sadness, loneliness, or anxiety, emotional pain often triggers the impulse to binge. Recognizing your emotional triggers and finding healthy ways to cope is crucial to breaking the cycle of binge eating.


Here are some strategies to consider:


  • Journaling: Writing down your feelings can help release pent-up emotions and identify patterns in your eating.


  • Exercise: Physical activity can help manage stress, release endorphins, and reduce anxiety—without resorting to food.


  • Relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm the mind and body, making it easier to manage cravings.


It’s important to note that learning to cope without food is a skill that takes time. Be patient with yourself as you experiment with new tools, and remember that it’s okay to ask for support along the way.


5. Therapy: Healing the Mind Behind the Eating Disorder


Therapy is often essential in overcoming binge eating disorder. It provides a space to uncover the emotional triggers behind binge eating and develop strategies for healthier coping. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been found to be especially effective for BED, as it helps individuals identify and challenge harmful thought patterns around food and self-image.


CBT can help you understand the link between your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, giving you the tools to make more intentional choices when faced with overwhelming cravings. Additionally, therapy can help address any underlying issues—like trauma, depression, or anxiety—that might be contributing to your eating habits.


You may also benefit from group therapy or support groups, where you can share experiences with others who understand your struggles and offer valuable encouragement.


6. Create a Support System: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone


When you’re battling binge eating disorder, isolation can feel inevitable. However, recovery is not something you have to do alone. Reach out for help—whether it’s through a therapist, support group, or close friends and family. Having someone to talk to when you’re feeling triggered or overwhelmed can provide the encouragement and emotional support needed to get through tough moments.


If possible, find people who can hold you accountable in a supportive and non-judgmental way. Whether it’s someone who checks in with you about your progress, or just someone who’s there to listen when you need to talk, having a strong support system is vital.


7. Regaining Power: Celebrate Every Small Victory


Recovery from binge eating disorder is a journey, and it’s important to celebrate the victories along the way—no matter how small they may seem. Whether you go an entire day without a binge, or you recognize and confront an emotional trigger without turning to food, each victory is a powerful step forward.


Write down your successes, reflect on how far you've come, and use these moments to motivate yourself on difficult days. Over time, you'll begin to see the bigger picture: you are regaining power over your thoughts, your habits, and your life.


Conclusion: You Are Stronger Than You Think


Binge eating disorder may feel like an insurmountable challenge, but recovery is within reach. It’s about recognizing the emotional causes, replacing shame with self-compassion, and building healthier coping mechanisms. With the right support, tools, and mindset, you can regain control and heal from the inside out.


The journey will be tough at times, but know this: you are stronger than you think, and you have the power to break free. Take it one step at a time, and remember that every small victory is a victory worth celebrating.


Your recovery is possible—and you deserve to live a life free from the struggle.


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 29, 2024

When childhood modeling wasn't enough, many people struggle to cope with adulthood's stresses, lacking the emotional tools and coping strategies that others may have learned early on. Without proper modeling of healthy emotional regulation and conflict resolution, it can be difficult to manage work, family, and personal challenges. However, through self-awareness and support, it’s possible to break these patterns and develop healthier ways of coping.

Breaking the Cycle: Navigating Stress in Adulthood When Childhood Modeling Wasn't Enough

Stress. It’s an undeniable part of life. From work pressures and family responsibilities to the demands of school or personal life, modern-day stress can feel like an ever-present shadow. But when you’ve grown up in an environment where emotional regulation, coping strategies, and healthy boundaries were never modeled, managing stress can feel like an insurmountable challenge.


If you were raised in an environment where you didn’t see healthy ways of handling stress—whether due to parental neglect, emotional unavailability, or even toxic behaviors like constant conflict—those early years can have a lasting impact on your ability to navigate the pressures of adulthood. As an adult, you may find yourself struggling to cope with the everyday stressors that others seem to handle more easily. The key to moving forward is recognizing how these childhood patterns shape your responses today and taking steps to rewrite the script.


Here’s how you can begin breaking the cycle of poor modeling and learn to manage stress more effectively.


1. Recognize the Patterns from Your Past


The first step in breaking the cycle is awareness. Many adults who were raised in emotionally turbulent environments often internalize unhealthy coping mechanisms, like avoidance, emotional shutdown, or overcompensation (working harder, ignoring emotions). These learned behaviors become ingrained over time and can sabotage your efforts to handle adult stress effectively.


Take a moment to reflect on your childhood. How did your parents or caregivers handle conflict, frustration, or disappointment? Did they withdraw emotionally, lash out, or suppress their feelings? By identifying these patterns, you can begin to recognize how they might be influencing your current behavior. The goal here is not to blame, but to understand—only then can you start creating new, healthier responses.


2. Understand How Stress Affects You Personally


When you didn’t have the right tools growing up, it’s common to experience stress differently as an adult. Some people might internalize stress, leading to anxiety, depression, or self-blame. Others might externalize it, lashing out in anger or withdrawing into unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse, overeating, or compulsive work habits.


Understanding your personal stress response is crucial. Do you tend to shut down when you feel overwhelmed? Do you take on too much in an attempt to control the chaos around you? Do you feel an intense need to be “perfect” at everything? The more you understand your individual triggers and reactions, the better equipped you'll be to manage them moving forward.


3. Create Healthy Boundaries


One of the most significant challenges for people who grew up with poor emotional modeling is setting boundaries. If your caregivers didn’t respect your needs or establish their own healthy boundaries, you may have grown up thinking that boundaries are either unnecessary or that they lead to rejection or conflict.


However, boundaries are essential for stress management, especially in the face of work, family, and school demands. Learning to say “no” when you’re overwhelmed, carving out time for yourself, and asking for help when needed are all critical skills for managing stress. Start small by identifying areas where your boundaries are being crossed (whether by family members, colleagues, or even yourself), and practice setting limits. It’s important to remember that boundaries don’t make you selfish—they protect your well-being.


4. Develop Emotional Awareness and Expression


As a child, you may not have been taught how to express or process emotions in healthy ways. Maybe feelings were dismissed, invalidated, or even ignored altogether. This can make it especially difficult to identify or express emotions as an adult.


Developing emotional awareness is one of the most powerful ways to combat stress. Start by simply tuning in to how you’re feeling throughout the day. Are you stressed, anxious, frustrated, or tired? Instead of pushing these feelings down, allow yourself to acknowledge them. Journaling can be a helpful tool here—writing down your thoughts can give you clarity on what’s contributing to your stress.


Additionally, practicing emotional expression in safe spaces (like therapy, with trusted friends, or through creative outlets) can help you release pent-up feelings that you may have been holding onto for years.


5. Invest in Self-Care and Healing


Healing from poor childhood modeling is a long-term process. If you didn’t receive the support you needed growing up, it’s important to seek out help as an adult. Therapy, support groups, or counseling can be incredibly beneficial in helping you unpack past trauma and learn new ways to cope with stress. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for example, can help you recognize negative thought patterns and replace them with more constructive ways of thinking.


Self-care is also key. It’s easy to neglect your own needs when you’re juggling the demands of work, school, and family. However, taking time to care for your body, mind, and spirit is essential for reducing stress and building emotional resilience. Whether it's practicing mindfulness, meditating, exercising, or taking a break to read or engage in a hobby, finding ways to nourish yourself will make it easier to handle life's challenges.


6. Build a Support System That Models Healthy Coping


Another key to managing stress is surrounding yourself with people who model healthy coping mechanisms. If you didn’t have this growing up, it’s time to build your own support network. Seek out friendships, mentors, or therapists who can show you what it looks like to handle life’s challenges with balance, patience, and emotional intelligence.


Having a support system is crucial when stress is high. Whether you lean on a therapist, talk to a close friend, or connect with others in a support group, having someone to talk to and share your experiences with can help reduce the overwhelming feeling of carrying stress alone.


Conclusion: Breaking the Cycle and Moving Forward


The road to managing stress effectively when you’ve had poor modeling as a child is not an easy one, but it’s a journey that’s well worth taking. Acknowledge that your upbringing has shaped your response to stress, but also recognize that it’s never too late to change. With awareness, support, and the right coping tools, you can break free from old patterns and build a healthier, more resilient approach to life’s demands.


Remember: You are not bound by the past, and you have the power to rewrite your story. Starting today, make a commitment to take small, consistent steps towards healing. The work will be hard, but the reward—a balanced life where stress no longer controls you—is within reach.


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