I Lost My Job and Found Myself: A Story of Growth After Unemployment

It took me seven months after college graduation to land my first full-time job. I majored in animation—an extremely competitive field. Having a BA or BFA can make it excruciatingly difficult to find work. In my senior year of college, all the animation majors got to show off their senior film at the local movie theater. If it was good enough. The bar seemed very low. But for some reason, I didn’t make the cut. But then, to my knowledge, nobody in my graduating class had a job so quickly. Landing that job, even after seven months, felt like it was finally my time to shine.

It was a really boring job. I worked under contract, cutting up cardboard boxes and assembling mockup versions of toys for eight hours every day. I kept my head down, did what I was told, and displayed a very eager-to-learn version of myself. The job was not fulfilling. But at least I was employed, and at least I could say I had a real full-time job with hopes of finally moving out.

For some reason, they decided not to hire me full-time when the contract ended. They didn’t even tell me. I found out myself when my position was posted on Indeed. All this time, I wasn’t sure which would be better: to continue making money in a job I don’t enjoy during a time when the job market is terrible, or to have an opening and hope I’d have luck finding a job that better fits me. Turns out I didn’t get to choose. I felt a mix of relief, fear, and anger. How could they go behind my back like that? Being a temporary employee doesn’t mean I should be flung aside. Nothing was ever said to me about a lack of performance. When I confronted them, they briefly mentioned my leadership skills could use some work. I was working as an assistant, doing the things they didn’t have time to do themselves. What exactly was I supposed to lead? They had a lot of nerve saying that to me, when they never demonstrated leadership skills to me. A true leader would have led me. I was their golden opportunity to show off their leadership skills. But instead of leading me in whatever I lacked, they cut me off like a wart.

It didn’t quite hit me until I noticed the two men I worked with exit the room with some notebooks. It was clear they were off to interview someone while I was still working there. I called my mom during working hours in tears. It was Tuesday, and I decided to quit at the end of the week, two weeks before my contract would end. I would rather have those two weeks to look for work than to stay at a job where I didn’t like how I was treated. They would whisper in front of me, excluding me from necessary company conversations, and not even telling me that they did not want to continue with my application, or why. I still don’t know why. But I’ve decided that I don’t care. The reason probably has more to do with them than it does with me.

Sitting in the Discomfort

The devastation sat with me for a long time. I found out they were not going to extend my contract Memorial Day Weekend in 2024, while I was enjoying a weekend away in New York. I confronted them on the Tuesday we were back. When I heard their answer, I couldn’t even tell my parents for a few days. I stayed working for several more weeks, not exactly sure how to feel. It was bittersweet, and I was okay with that. I started looking and interviewing at a few places, nothing full-time, but just a buffer job that would keep me afloat until I could find something a bit more related to my field. Except it was tough to interview because I was still working under contract, which meant I couldn’t take a few hours off work to meet any potential employers. I did not see how truly stuck I was, blind to the sticky peanut butter surrounding me, originating from this job. I trudged forward, forcing myself to walk through the knee—deep, thick, invisible, peanut butter. I told myself it would be over soon, so I continued to allow myself to get smothered in more peanut butter.

The phone call I had with my mom almost one month later helped me realize how bad the situation was for me. I was trapped in a place that I couldn’t interview elsewhere, in a place where I had been shafted. I could finally see the peanut butter everywhere. It was probably up to my waist at that point. I had to do something about it, and I had to start taking care of myself. It was not an easy decision to quit early, but my mental health had to come first. The peanut butter had to go. I came back the next day with a resignation notice. All that was asked was if I had another opportunity lined up for me. I was honest. I said no. That was that. Had they asked for honest feedback, I would have given it to them. But they didn’t, and that’s on them for not wanting to improve.

In the few weeks that followed, I felt a little bit better that I was no longer working at that place. The peanut butter was swallowed with them. But as time continued to pass with no offers, I felt panic begin to set in. I was too far into the working world to go back to retail, but I was not yet experienced enough to do almost anything else. The relief was short-lived, and I was back to feeling like I was not good enough. The job was not just a way for me to make money. It felt like my chance to show that I could be good enough. But I lost it, just as I had not been accepted to show my senior film. I was moving backwards in life. What was I doing wrong?

To fill my time, I continued to hustle my art. I animate for myself a little bit, I operate a very small Etsy shop, and I write for Moody Melon. At a very low point in this situation, I honestly asked a very close and important person in my life what I do well that nobody else does. The answer really helped me. It may have been just to make me feel better, but I took it very seriously. I am very good at making animal ceramic mugs. All I needed to hear was one thing that I knew I could do.

Reframing the Loss

This was not something I could look at in a new way on my own. I spoke to my therapist about it a lot. While I was in work, she mentioned that I didn't seem happy there. I knew that I wasn’t exactly joyous, but the mindset of having a job during these hard times was enough to convince myself it wasn’t so bad.

Once I was out of work, she pointed out that I had been saying how much I wanted to have more time to focus on my art. I had wanted to expand my portfolio, make more things to sell at art markets, and also use the extra time to find my true potential. Now is the time when I can afford to do all that. I haven’t moved out yet, so I have no rent to pay. I can quite literally afford to have time now. One thing I learned is that it’s very difficult to both make money and have time. Right now, my life is focused on having the time I wanted.

Of course, I needed something to keep me afloat to pay for gas, food, and the opportunity to do things with friends that may cost money. I finally put my nail technician license to use and landed a part-time job at a nail salon. The paychecks are not even half of what I used to make, but they are enough to fill my tank and pay for occasional goodies such as art supplies. Things are not moving forward very quickly in the sense of saving up for moving out, but I don’t feel that I am moving backward anymore. I am simply staying at a point that is necessary in order for me to move forward in other aspects of my life. While I still occasionally get anxious about money, I remind myself that this time is what I have wanted for a long time. This exact point in my life is temporary. This, too, shall pass with the goal of moving forward.

Finding the Opportunity

The first thing I started doing semi-regularly after losing my job was going to the gym. I had wanted to find a good time that worked for me when the gym wasn’t too crowded. Late mornings, when I would typically be at work, were a good time to do that. I could finally animate again, as I was not drained from a long day of boring work. I could make more things for my Etsy shop. I had more time to look for jobs and write better cover letters. Of course, the market is still terrible, and I’ve had no luck, but I felt better about the jobs I did apply for. I started writing more, reworking my novel I’ve been writing since middle school. I finally got a place where I can send it to literary agents—for the second time. Again, a very difficult market, but I feel good about the place the book is at now. Most importantly, I have enough time to go to the ceramic studio.

When I was told that I make ceramic animal mugs very well, that stuck with me. I was still at work at the time, but I had looked online for affordable ceramic studio memberships. Everything in Boston is ridiculously expensive, but there was one place in Lowell that was fairly priced. It was thirty minutes away from North Andover, where I worked, and I thought I could make the balance work. Looking back now that I no longer have that job, I realize it’s a lot more time to dedicate to ceramics than I would have had time for while working full time. I did not join the studio membership right away, as I wanted to make sure I was going to get hired after my contract ended. It turns out that not being hired was exactly what I needed to go forth with the studio membership.

As I continue to create this summer, I have a goal of working part-time while focusing most of my time and energy on exploring paths and finding my potential. I want to move from Etsy to my own online store. I want to make as many tangible pieces as possible to sell at art fairs this fall. I want to submit to as many literary agents as possible. I hope to have something accomplished with a true definition of myself by the fall. I have time now. I’m going to use it to really hustle and focus on myself.

Click to Learn About “What If I’m Already Enough?” — Why Acceptance Should Come Before Achievement in Raising Confident Kids

A Mindset That Applies to More Than Just Jobs

I know that my story is a very personal and specific one. I’d really like to open up about how the right mindset can help you overcome anything. Whether you’re like me and you’ve lost a job, or you’re struggling with something else, such as a relationship, a move, or regrets, just know that your thinking can help you move forward. What’s a new light or angle you haven’t considered looking at the problem in? You lost something, but what can you gain from this? Perhaps it’s a lesson that makes you stronger, wiser, or better. Maybe it’s more time. The one thing we can never get back. Maybe it’s a new and unexpected relationship.

This is not to say that whatever struggles you may have are not there. But looking at something positive, having good people who have your back, can help you see the other side of the situation. It’s the other side that we need to get to, and it’s important that it’s as accessible as possible. The other side may not be what you expect either. My thoughts were that I was just going to find another job, with little gigs in between. But I was able to look at the opportunity that was right in front of me: time. Things aren’t moving as quickly forward as I hoped, but I would gladly sacrifice that for the time I now see that I have.

From Fear to Freedom

This is not all said and done. Moving through life, whether you’re going forward quickly or staying stationary to figure things out, there are plenty of ups and downs. I try to prepare myself and keep an open mind about what may happen. However, things don’t happen when you wait. I keep my mind open, but I actively explore my options. I actively apply to jobs, actively create, and actively research. I also try to now recognize when I’m walking through peanut butter.

Click to Learn About Resilience in Action: How to Stay Positive, Social, and Empowered While Navigating Disability

Goals are excellent to have, but it is incredibly freeing when you have multiple goals in several different fields of life. I have a goal of taking the summer to explore, and a goal of finding something that clicks by the fall. What that could be, is anything. Maybe I will extend my hours at the nail salon, maybe I will still work part-time, but I will be much more comfortable having an online store. Maybe my book will finally get accepted by an agent. Who knows, maybe I will still be figuring things out. That’s okay. It’s okay to forgive yourself for not meeting your goals right away. They will always be there, waiting for you when you’re ready.

Doors close all the time—and we don’t often get a say in which ones do. But it’s important to pause and reflect, look at your options. There may be a door right in front of you, which would be the obvious one. But look left and right, at the off-center doors. They might take you down a different path, and that path might be better. You get to choose which door you open next. If you’re stuck in peanut butter and feeling scared, you are not alone, just as I am not alone. Clean up that peanut butter! An ending can be hard, sticky, and scary, but the next beginning might be something better.

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

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Rowena Poole

Mental Health Advocate | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I am a multimedia storyteller with a passion for supporting mental well-being. With a background in animation and creative writing, I use my skills to share meaningful messages that promote understanding and positive change.

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The Family Scapegoat: What If the Problem Was Never You?

Being the family scapegoat often means carrying the emotional weight of an entire household's dysfunction—silently, unfairly, and for years. But recognizing the role and reclaiming your worth is the first courageous step toward healing.

You were always “too sensitive,” “too dramatic,” or “the problem child.” Sound familiar? In many families, there’s an unspoken rule: one person bears the blame when things go wrong. That person is the scapegoat—the emotional dumping ground, often assigned this role since childhood. While it’s rarely discussed openly, scapegoating is more common than most people realize, and its psychological impact can last a lifetime.

Scapegoating is a form of emotional abuse that typically reflects a dysfunctional family system. Instead of addressing their own issues, some families project shame, guilt, or anger onto one person, usually the most emotionally attuned or different child. The scapegoat becomes the “identified problem,” even when their reactions are normal responses to abnormal situations.

What Scapegoating Looks Like

Scapegoating doesn’t always look like yelling or overt cruelty. Sometimes, it’s subtle—and shockingly normalized.

Here are some real-life situations that may sound all too familiar:

• Your sibling breaks something, but you’re the one who gets blamed because you're “always causing problems.”

  
  

• You speak up about how a family member hurt you, and you're told you’re too dramatic or “just trying to start trouble.”

  
  

• A parent vents their frustrations about work or their marriage by yelling at you for forgetting to take out the trash.

  
  

• At family gatherings, you're constantly the butt of the joke—“It’s just teasing,” they say, while you feel smaller each time.

  
  

• You succeed in school or work, but it's ignored or undermined, while your sibling’s minor achievements are celebrated.

  
  

• You're expected to be the mediator during arguments, even though you're the one who was hurt.

  
  

• When you try to set a boundary, you're called selfish, ungrateful, or accused of turning your back on the family.

  
  

• You were labeled “difficult” as a child simply for having emotions or asking questions no one wanted to answer.

  
  

Over time, this emotional invalidation chips away at your self-esteem and conditions you to suppress your truth to avoid further conflict.

The Hidden Damage

Children who grow up as the family scapegoat often carry chronic anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing behaviors, or deep-rooted shame into adulthood. They may feel isolated, emotionally reactive, or confused about why relationships are so draining.

Click to Learn About How Freud’s Defense Mechanisms Show Up in Your Daily Life (And How to Live More Honestly)

The Trauma a Scapegoat Carries:

• Complex PTSD from years of emotional neglect, rejection, or gaslighting.

  
  

• Hypervigilance, always anticipating blame or criticism even in safe environments.

  
  

• Emotional dysregulation, especially when trying to express needs or establish boundaries.

  
  

• Fear of vulnerability, as speaking up often led to ridicule, rejection, or punishment.

  
  

• A distorted self-image, shaped by internalized beliefs like “I’m hard to love” or “I ruin everything.”

  
  

• Attachment wounds, making intimacy feel unsafe or unpredictable in adult relationships.

  
  

These aren't just emotional bruises—they are psychological injuries that impact how scapegoated individuals see themselves and engage with the world.

Reclaiming Your Power: Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Mental Health

The first step in healing from scapegoating is recognition. You’re not imagining things. If your gut tells you something has always felt off, trust that. The second step is boundaries.

Here are powerful boundary-setting tools:

• Limit contact or create emotional distance from toxic family dynamics.

  
  

• Practice emotional detachment—you can care about your family without carrying their pain.

  
  

• Say no without guilt. You’re allowed to decline conversations or roles that are harmful.

  
  

• Choose your truth. Write down what actually happened to you. Naming the reality is the beginning of breaking the cycle.

  
  

Healing also involves connecting with others who validate your experience. Therapy, trauma-informed support groups, or even safe online communities can help you feel seen and understood.

Click to Learn About How to Overcome Family Scapegoating for Personal Growth

You Are Not the Problem—You Were the Mirror

Often, scapegoats are the most emotionally intelligent or compassionate members of the family. That makes them threatening in systems where dysfunction is denied. Your sensitivity is not a flaw—it’s a strength that was never nurtured.

So here’s the question: If the role of scapegoat was assigned to you, not earned… isn’t it time to stop carrying what was never yours to begin with?

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

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• Going Flat: A Cancer Survivor’s Bold Choice in a Society That Wants More

• Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

In our go-go lifestyle, always-on world we’ve created, we’re constantly juggling the demands of a “real” job that pays the bills, squeezing in time for passion projects or side hustles, making it to that 5 AM Pilates class, showing up for weekend brunch with the girls, keeping up with nail and hair appointments, and, of course, fitting in those obligatory family visits, birthday dinners, bachelorette trips, and whatever else pops up on our never-ending social calendars. And let’s be real, if it didn’t make it to socials, did it even happen?

Somehow, we’ve equated a “full” life with a packed schedule, but the reality is, that version of “full” isn’t necessarily what truly fulfills us. So much of what we strive for, how we spend our time, what we chase, what we think we “should be” doing, is influenced by social media, our mentors, our peers, our parents, and the fickle definition of whatever is currently trending. Rarely do we pause to ask ourselves: What actually makes me feel full?

We stretch ourselves so thin in the pursuit of this curated version of “living” that we leave nothing for just us. A quiet night on the couch with ice cream doesn’t seem as exciting to post, but getting dressed up for a dinner party full of strangers? Now that’s something worth sharing—never mind if it completely drains your battery. Because what if you don’t go and later see your friends' stories filled with big smiles and selfies you weren’t a part of? What if you miss out on some juicy tea that was spilled in your absence? And worst of all—what if you weren’t even invited?

And that’s when you’re hit by FOMO!

What is FOMO and When Does it Come Up?

FOMO—aka “the fear of missing out”, has become a cultural phenomenon over the last decade. It’s that nagging feeling of being left out, the anxiety of missing an epic moment, and, at its core, the deeper fear of being forgotten, unwanted, or unneeded. But more than anything, it’s the fear of not being important. Of our social currency slowly losing value.

So much of how we move through life is dictated by this fear, pushing us to say yes to plans we have zero interest in, even when it comes at the expense of our minds, bodies, and souls. We overextend, overcommit, and overstimulate ourselves, not because we want to, but because the other feels even worse.

Click to Learn About Self-Care Strategies for When You’re the One Caring for a Loved One

Why is FOMO bad?

The Cleveland Clinic published an article diving into the psychological effects of FOMO, linking it directly to heightened anxiety and depression. And it makes sense. Depression often shows up as a constant cycle of comparison, chipping away at self-worth, damaging self-esteem, and negative self-talk. Anxiety, on the other hand manifests as headaches, muscle tension, and that all-too-familiar tightness in the chest. Because let’s be real, the pressure to keep up? It’s exhausting in every possible way.

When we’re constantly chasing external validation, social approval and the need to “fit in”, we place an unbearable strain on us mentally, pushing ourselves to burnout. The toll isn’t just emotional; it’s also very much physical. Running on survival mode for too long can lead to rising cortisol levels, hair fall and breakouts just to name a few. We often forget how closely the mind and body are connected. What happens within us eventually reflects outwardly.

How to battle FOMO? – By Embracing JOMO

We may never fully free ourselves from FOMO. But we can train ourselves to recognize how it triggers us. Anytime we tie our sense of worth to something external, we’re setting ourselves up for failure, maybe not immediately, but eventually. You might think you’ve cracked the code by saying yes to everything, making yourself available everywhere, and keeping up with every social commitment. But to be honest, that pace? It’s an uphill battle that only gets steeper.

So how do we counteract this? We embrace JOMO—the joy of missing out. With this mindset, we put our own needs first. We ask ourselves: What do I actually want in this moment? Do I really want to go to that birthday dinner and be social after a nine-hour work shift? Do I really want to spend money I don’t have on that bachelorette trip? And honestly… so what if I skip brunch? Maybe I just want to sleep in, put a face mask on, and clean my house in peace.

At its core, JOMO is about choosing your joy over external pressure. It’s about leaning into what feels right for you in the moment, and saying NO! unapologetically. Some fun and practical ways to embrace JOMO include:

• Explore activities you've always wanted to try but never had the time for due to a packed schedule.

• Enjoy a relaxing night in with candles, journaling, or reading a good book.

• Start your day with a calming meditation before heading to work.

• Treat yourself to a solo date by cooking a nice meal, enjoying wine, and embracing the

• moment.

The possibilities for enjoying your own company are endless.

Click to Learn More About Self-Care for One: Thriving Alone with Chronic Illness

Conclusion

The more “me-time” you spend, the more self-compassion you cultivate, until your sense of validation naturally begins to come from within. In a world full of noise, tuning into your own voice can work wonders in preserving your mental well-being in the long run. And if you ever find yourself in that inner tug-of-war, just remember, Instagram stories always make it look way more fun than it actually was anyway.

So tell us—how might your energy shift if you took a step back and embraced the joy of missing out?

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

Reference:

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, August). FOMO is real: How the fear of missing out affects your health. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo

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Niki Kay

Host of the Mindset Mentress Podcast | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I'm a writer, podcast host, and entrepreneur focused on self-discovery and transformation. Through my podcast, Mindset Mentress, I share insights on authenticity and growth. Currently pursuing a journalism certification at NYU to enhance my storytelling and impact.

linkedin | instagram

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