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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • 7 days ago

Burnout often shows up quietly—through exhaustion, irritability, or a sense of emotional numbness—long before we recognize its toll. Taking small, consistent steps to care for yourself daily can be the key to preventing burnout before it takes hold.

Burnout Doesn’t Come With a Warning Light—But Here’s How to Catch It Early

Let’s be honest: most of us don’t realize we’re on the edge of burnout until we’ve already slid off the cliff. One day you’re multitasking like a pro, and the next, you’re crying in the bathroom over a calendar notification or snapping at someone you love for forgetting to load the dishwasher.


Burnout doesn’t announce itself with sirens. It creeps in quietly, disguised as productivity, responsibility, and ambition. But there are signs—subtle, small, and absolutely worth noticing. Catching burnout early is not just about preventing a crash; it’s about preserving your energy, your relationships, and your joy.



Here are small, powerful things you can do—even with a busy schedule—to take care of yourself before burnout takes over:


1. Start Your Day With an Internal “Weather Report”


Before jumping into emails, meetings, or breakfast prep, check in with yourself like you’d check the weather. Ask:


  • What’s the emotional forecast today?

  • Where do I feel it in my body?

  • What’s one thing I can do to make today easier for myself?


This quick pause helps you notice fatigue, resentment, or anxiety before they escalate.


2. Redefine “Self-Care” as Micro-Acts of Maintenance


Forget the bubble baths and yoga retreats (unless that’s your thing). Real self-care is what you do in between your responsibilities:


  • Take 10 deep breaths before you open your laptop.

  • Drink a glass of water before your next call.

  • Step outside and feel actual sunlight on your skin—even for one minute.


Tiny acts add up when done with intention.


3. Use Transitions to Your Advantage


Going from work to home mode? Leaving a stressful conversation? Pause for 30 seconds and ask, What energy am I carrying right now, and do I want to bring it into this next moment?


It’s like wiping your mental shoes before stepping into the next room of your life.


4. Anchor Into Something That’s Just for You


No matter how busy your day is, find something—one thing—that is yours and yours alone. A 5-minute playlist that makes you feel alive. A silly meme account that gives you joy. A post-it note mantra on your mirror. This is less about escape and more about grounding.


5. Name Your Wins—Even the Tiny Ones


You answered that hard email. You drank more water. You didn’t lose your temper when you could’ve. You tried. That counts.


Noticing effort builds resilience. Burnout feeds on the feeling that nothing you do is enough.


6. Put a Boundary on the Invisible Work


You know the kind—worrying about everyone’s needs, double-checking what didn’t get done, mentally redoing a conversation. If you can't stop overthinking, give yourself a scheduled worry window. Set a timer. Let the mental noise run. Then move on.


You don’t have to carry it all, all the time.


7. End Your Day With Care, Not Collapse


Even if your day felt like a sprint, give yourself two minutes to close it intentionally:


  • What’s one thing I did well today?

  • What do I want to leave behind?

  • What does my body need tonight?


Treat yourself like someone worth winding down for—because you are.



Final Thought:You don’t need to wait until you're depleted to care for yourself. In fact, the best time to care for yourself is before you think you need to.


And here’s the eye-opening question to reflect on:


If you treated your energy like your most valuable asset, what would you do differently today?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 26

Borderline Personality Disorder and stress often intertwine, creating a cycle where intense emotional reactions make everyday stressors feel overwhelming. As individuals with BPD experience heightened sensitivity, even small triggers can escalate into profound emotional turmoil, amplifying their stress levels.

How Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress Intertwine – And What You Can Do About It

Mental health is a topic that's been gaining more attention in recent years, and for good reason. Among the many conditions that affect people’s emotional well-being, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and stress often go hand-in-hand, creating a cycle of emotional turmoil that can feel impossible to break. But understanding how these two interact can be the first step toward taking control of your mental health.


For individuals with BPD, stress isn't just a passing inconvenience—it can feel like a tidal wave, pushing them toward overwhelming emotional reactions and behaviors. But here’s the good news: the daily practice of self-reminders and mindfulness can be an effective way to regain balance and manage the impact of stress.


Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress: A Tight Grip


Borderline Personality Disorder is marked by intense emotional reactions, unstable relationships, and a fear of abandonment. People with BPD often feel emotions more intensely than others, which can make dealing with everyday stress an uphill battle. The stress response in someone with BPD can escalate quickly—what seems like a small trigger can provoke an overwhelming emotional reaction, sending them into a spiral.


Add to that the natural stressors of life—work, relationships, financial pressures—and it’s easy to see how stress can compound, making it harder to manage BPD symptoms.

But, why does stress feel so much more intense for those with BPD? It’s because the emotional regulation systems in the brain can be less responsive, making it harder for individuals to return to a state of calm once triggered. This heightened emotional sensitivity is what makes stress not just uncomfortable, but often unbearable.


The Power of Self-Reminders: A Tool for Regaining Control


The good news is that while BPD and stress can feel overwhelming, there are strategies to help manage both. One of the most powerful tools in this journey is the simple practice of self-reminders. By incorporating daily affirmations and grounding techniques into your routine, you can start to reshape how you respond to stress and difficult emotions.

Here are a few self-reminder strategies that can make a difference:


  1. Start with Grounding Techniques: When stress begins to build, grounding techniques help pull you back into the present moment. A quick but effective method is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, where you identify:

    • 5 things you can see,

    • 4 things you can touch,

    • 3 things you can hear,

    • 2 things you can smell,

    • 1 thing you can taste. This exercise helps distract the mind from stressors and reconnect you with your environment.


  2. Affirmations for Emotional Stability: Remind yourself daily that your emotions do not define you. Simple affirmations like, “I am allowed to feel, but I can also choose how to respond,” can be grounding. Write these reminders on sticky notes, set them as phone notifications, or say them out loud when you feel stressed.


  3. Mindful Breathing: Stress often leads to shallow, rapid breathing, which can further fuel anxiety. Practice deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6) to calm your nervous system. This simple action sends a message to your brain that you are in control, even if emotions are running high.


  4. Daily Reflection and Journaling: At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what triggered stress. Journaling about your feelings can help you gain clarity, track patterns, and understand the sources of your stress. Writing can be a powerful tool to break down overwhelming emotions and make them more manageable.


  5. Embrace Self-Compassion: One of the toughest things for people with BPD is self-criticism. Being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion can be a game-changer. Remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle and that recovery is a journey, not a race. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and be gentle with yourself when things feel hard.


The Key to Breaking the Cycle: Consistency


Like any new habit, the key to success with self-reminders is consistency. It’s not about waiting for the “perfect moment” or expecting immediate results; it’s about integrating these practices into your daily life so they become automatic. When self-reminders become second nature, you’ll find yourself more capable of handling stress, reducing emotional reactivity, and creating space for healing.


Conclusion:


Living with BPD and managing stress may feel like an endless battle at times, but by practicing self-reminders and taking small, intentional steps every day, you can gradually build resilience. Each reminder is a step closer to mastering your emotions and breaking the cycle of stress that often defines your experience.


Question to Ponder: What’s one self-reminder you can implement today that will help you manage your stress and BPD symptoms more effectively?


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The power of letting go lies in freeing ourselves from unrealistic expectations and embracing life’s natural flow. By letting go, we open up space for personal growth, peace of mind, and greater happiness.

The Hidden Power of Letting Go: How Managing Expectations Can Revolutionize Your Mental Health

In a world that constantly tells us to strive for perfection, chase our dreams, and set high standards, managing expectations can often feel like an afterthought. But what if the key to better mental health wasn’t about pushing harder or demanding more of ourselves? What if, instead, it was about learning to let go?


Expectation—the belief or hope that something will happen in a particular way—can have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. When our expectations don’t align with reality, it can trigger feelings of frustration, disappointment, or even anxiety. As we climb the career ladder, strive for personal achievements, or work to fulfill social expectations, unmet expectations can lead to a cycle of stress that affects our mental health.


So why is managing expectations so crucial, and how can we approach it in a healthy way? Let’s break it down.


The Downside of Unchecked Expectations


Expectations are often based on societal pressures, past experiences, or idealized visions of how life should be. These beliefs can leave us feeling stuck, as we push ourselves toward outcomes that may not always be realistic or aligned with our true desires.


Take, for example, the pressure to achieve constant success in the workplace. Many people tie their self-worth to their accomplishments, whether that’s landing a promotion, completing a major project, or maintaining a "perfect" work-life balance. When these high expectations inevitably fall short, individuals can experience burnout, anxiety, and a sense of inadequacy.


Similarly, in relationships, we often have preconceived notions of what a "perfect" friendship or partnership should look like. When our relationships don’t meet these expectations, disappointment can overshadow what might otherwise be a fulfilling connection.


The Importance of Realistic Expectations


While it’s natural to set goals and strive for success, there’s a huge difference between healthy aspirations and unrealistic standards. By recognizing when our expectations are out of reach, we can take the pressure off ourselves and create space for healthier, more attainable goals.


Realistic expectations allow for growth and adaptability. They acknowledge that setbacks and imperfections are part of the journey, not signs of failure. When we set expectations that align with our abilities, needs, and values, we’re able to navigate challenges with resilience instead of self-criticism.


Practical Tips for Managing Expectations:


  1. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize that you are human. No one is perfect, and it's okay if things don't always go as planned. Be kind to yourself during moments of disappointment.


  2. Reframe Perfectionism: Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress. Shift your mindset to appreciate small wins and the effort you put in, rather than only focusing on the end result.


  3. Set Flexible Goals: It’s important to set goals that are challenging but also adaptable. Life is unpredictable, so allow yourself to adjust your expectations along the way.


  4. Communicate Clearly with Others: In relationships, communicate openly about your needs and desires, but also recognize that everyone has their own limitations and perspectives. Being flexible in your expectations of others fosters healthier, more balanced connections.


  5. Embrace the Unexpected: Sometimes, the most rewarding moments happen when things don’t go according to plan. Embrace life’s uncertainties, and allow space for surprises and opportunities to arise naturally.


The Freedom in Letting Go


The real beauty of managing expectations is that it creates freedom—freedom from constant pressure, self-judgment, and the fear of failure. By learning to accept life’s ebb and flow, we can develop healthier habits, stronger relationships, and a deeper sense of contentment with who we are, no matter what our external circumstances might look like.

It’s not about lowering our standards—it’s about being mindful of what’s truly important and adjusting our expectations so that they reflect our well-being.


As we approach the new year, think about this: What would it look like if you let go of one unrealistic expectation in your life? How would it feel to embrace yourself and your journey, without the constant need for perfection?


So, what’s one expectation you’re ready to release today, and how do you think it might transform your mental health moving forward?


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