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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Oct 22

For individuals struggling with the lasting effects of traumatic experiences, EMDR is changing the way we heal trauma by helping the brain safely reprocess painful memories without reliving them.

Rewiring the Wounds: How EMDR Is Changing the Way We Heal Trauma

Trauma has a way of planting itself in the body and brain, looping like a broken record no matter how hard we try to “move on.” For those caught in the exhausting cycle of intrusive memories, emotional triggers, and chronic anxiety, EMDR therapy offers a path to real relief—not just coping, but healing.


What Is EMDR, Really?


Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy approach that helps people process and heal from traumatic experiences. Developed in the late 1980s by Dr. Francine Shapiro, EMDR was first used to treat PTSD in veterans. Since then, it's evolved into a go-to therapy for a wide range of trauma-related conditions.


Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t require clients to describe their trauma in detail. Instead, the therapy uses bilateral stimulation—such as guided eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones—while the client briefly recalls distressing experiences. This dual attention (focusing on the trauma and external stimuli at the same time) helps the brain reprocess stuck memories, taking the emotional charge out of them.


Think of it like REM sleep for your nervous system—but wide awake.


Why Does Trauma Get “Stuck”?


When something traumatic happens, the brain’s normal processing system can get overwhelmed. Instead of storing the memory like other past events, it gets locked in the nervous system—intensely emotional, fragmented, and unprocessed.


This is why you might find yourself reacting to something in the present as if the past is still happening. A sound, a smell, or a facial expression can trigger a flood of emotion, even if you logically know you're safe. This is the brain’s way of trying to protect you from danger—but it also keeps you stuck in survival mode.


What Happens During EMDR?


EMDR therapy follows a structured eight-phase process. Here’s a simplified breakdown:


  1. History and Assessment – Your therapist gathers background and identifies target memories.

  2. Preparation – You learn grounding and coping strategies to stay safe during reprocessing.

  3. Assessment of Target Memory – You identify key beliefs, emotions, and body sensations tied to the memory.

  4. Desensitization – This is the core phase: bilateral stimulation is introduced while you focus on the memory.

  5. Installation – Positive beliefs are introduced to replace old, harmful ones.

  6. Body Scan – You check for lingering physical tension or distress.

  7. Closure – The session ends with grounding and review.

  8. Re-evaluation – Each new session begins with checking progress and adjusting as needed.


It’s not hypnosis. You remain in control, conscious, and aware the entire time.


Who Can Benefit from EMDR?


Originally used for PTSD, EMDR is now widely applied to:


  • Childhood trauma and neglect

  • Sexual and physical abuse

  • Medical trauma

  • Anxiety and panic disorders

  • Phobias

  • Grief and complicated bereavement

  • Depression with trauma roots

  • Performance anxiety or low self-worth

  • Chronic pain and somatic symptoms


It’s especially helpful for individuals who feel “stuck” even after trying other therapies. Because EMDR doesn’t rely on retelling the trauma over and over, it can be less retraumatizing and more accessible for some clients.


Is EMDR Right for Everyone?


EMDR is evidence-based, but it’s not a quick fix or one-size-fits-all solution. For clients with complex trauma, dissociation, or current instability (such as ongoing abuse, active addiction, or housing insecurity), EMDR may need to be introduced slowly, or after building up coping resources.


It’s important to work with a certified EMDR therapist who can assess readiness, guide the process safely, and integrate EMDR into a broader treatment plan.


The Science Behind the Healing


Dozens of studies have shown EMDR to be as effective—or more effective—than traditional therapies for PTSD. In many cases, clients report significant relief after fewer sessions than with talk therapy alone.


Brain imaging studies suggest that EMDR helps reduce activation in the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and enhances integration between different brain regions. In simpler terms, the therapy helps your brain “unstick” the trauma and file it away where it belongs—in the past.


Real Relief Is Possible


Trauma doesn't have to define your life. Whether you're living with the aftermath of childhood abuse, a sudden loss, or years of silent suffering, EMDR can help reconnect you to yourself, your safety, and your future.


Healing is not forgetting. It's remembering without reliving.


So here’s the question: If your trauma is still living inside you… what would it mean to finally let it go?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Oct 20

When you choose to do the inner work, you model resilience, self-awareness, and emotional safety—heal yourself to help your teen grow in a healthier world.

Break the Cycle: Heal Yourself to Help Your Teen Thrive

It often starts with a slammed door, a sarcastic remark, or a sudden wave of emotion you can't quite explain. Parenting teens can feel like navigating an emotional minefield—but what if some of those triggers aren’t really about your teen at all?


Many parents walk into this stage of parenting carrying invisible backpacks filled with unprocessed trauma, emotional neglect, or buried memories. We tell ourselves we’ve “moved on” or that it “wasn’t that bad.” But trauma doesn’t vanish—it waits. It waits until we’re stretched thin. Until our child looks at us with that same expression someone once used to hurt us. Until we find ourselves overreacting—or worse, shutting down completely—without fully knowing why.


And our teens? They feel it, even if they don’t understand it.


The Silence We Inherit


Unprocessed trauma has a way of echoing through generations. A parent who learned to suppress feelings may unintentionally teach their child to do the same. A parent who never felt truly safe may struggle to create safety for their teen. It’s not about blame—it’s about awareness.


When we carry unresolved wounds, we might:


  • React impulsively to small issues

  • Struggle with emotional regulation

  • Avoid important conversations

  • Project our fears onto our children

  • Feel emotionally unavailable even when physically present


And our teens? They often respond by pulling away, acting out, or mimicking the same emotional patterns—setting the stage for the cycle to repeat.


Heal first, Parent Better


Unprocessed trauma can quietly shape the way you parent, often without you even realizing it. When past wounds go unhealed, they can surface as overreactions to your teen’s behavior, difficulty setting healthy boundaries, or emotional detachment. You may find yourself parenting from a place of fear, anxiety, or control—trying to protect your child from what hurt you, rather than responding to who they actually are. This can create confusion or distance in your relationship, as your teen senses the tension but doesn't understand its source. Healing your own trauma allows you to parent with greater clarity, compassion, and presence—so your child feels seen, safe, and supported, not just managed or corrected.


You Can’t Model What You Haven’t Learned


Here’s the truth: healing isn’t just a personal journey—it’s an act of generational love.

When you begin to process your own pain—through therapy, journaling, support groups, or mindful reflection—you don’t just heal for yourself. You shift the emotional climate of your home. You teach your teen that it’s okay to feel, to struggle, to ask for help.


When you regulate your emotions, you teach them how to regulate theirs. When you apologize after a blow-up, you show them that mistakes are part of being human. And when you speak openly about growth, therapy, and mental health, you normalize healing as a lifelong practice.


Becoming the Parent You Needed


There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But there is such a thing as a present, self-aware, and emotionally responsible one. And the good news? That kind of parent can be built at any stage of life.


You deserve to feel whole. And your child deserves to see what healing looks like.

So the question becomes:


What would change in your home if you began healing the parts of yourself your teen has never seen—but deeply feels?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Oct 13

Parenting stress can creep in quietly, turning daily routines into emotional minefields when support and self-care are lacking. The constant juggling act of modern life makes parenting stress a common, yet often unspoken, struggle for many families.


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Got 5 minutes? Join countless listeners who are exploring this powerful topic — listen here.

When Love Feels Heavy: The Unseen Weight of Parenting Stress

“Enjoy every moment—they grow up so fast.”


It’s a phrase every parent hears, and while it's well-meaning, it often overlooks a harsh truth: parenting is exhausting—mentally, physically, and emotionally.


Behind every cheerful social media post of smiling kids and perfectly packed lunches, there’s often a parent battling decision fatigue, sleep deprivation, guilt, and a never-ending to-do list. Parenting stress is real. And it's time we talk about it.


The Invisible Load


Parenting stress doesn’t always look like a breakdown. Sometimes, it’s:


  • A mom snapping at her toddler for spilling juice, then crying in the bathroom because she knows it wasn’t really about the juice.


  • A dad staring at his phone at 2 a.m., googling “how to help an anxious child sleep” while silently wondering if he’s doing anything right.


  • A single parent skipping meals to save money while making sure their child never sees the worry behind their smile.


  • A stay-at-home parent feeling guilty for wanting five minutes alone after a full day of answering “why?” questions and breaking up sibling fights.


It’s the mental checklist of school forms, doctor appointments, dietary restrictions, and emotional coaching—running on a loop in your head, day and night.


Modern parenting has become an all-consuming role. Today’s parents are expected to be caregivers, teachers, emotional regulators, nutritionists, activity planners, and more—often while managing careers or financial pressures. Add in the societal expectation to be “grateful” and “present” at all times, and you’ve got a recipe for burnout.


Why It Matters


Unchecked parenting stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and even chronic health problems. It can also unintentionally affect your connection with your child.


For example, a parent overwhelmed with stress might struggle to stay calm during a tantrum—not because they don’t care, but because their emotional tank is already empty. Or they may find themselves zoning out during bedtime stories, too tired to truly be present.

And that’s okay—it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human.


So What Can We Do?


  • Name it: Acknowledge your stress without guilt. For instance, say out loud, “I feel overwhelmed today because I haven’t had a break.” Naming it gives you power over it.


  • Ask for help: Whether it’s therapy, support groups, or simply trading off responsibilities with a partner or friend—help is healthy, not shameful. One mom I know created a weekend "kid swap" with a neighbor so they each get an afternoon off. That’s community care in action.


  • Reset expectations: "Good enough" parenting is often more than enough. One dad shared how he let go of homemade organic meals and now does “sandwich night” twice a week—less stress, more smiles.


  • Carve out space for yourself: Even 10 minutes of intentional self-care a day can make a difference. That might mean sitting in the car in silence before picking up the kids, journaling for five minutes, or just breathing without being touched or asked a question.


  • Talk about it: The more we normalize parenting stress, the less isolated we feel. When one parent says, “I’m struggling too,” it opens the door for others to exhale and say, “Me, too.”


Let’s Redefine Strength


Strength isn't about doing it all without breaking. It’s about recognizing when you need rest, support, or change—and having the courage to seek it.


So here’s the real question:


If your best friend felt the way you do right now, would you tell them to just "push through it"... or would you offer them compassion? Why not offer the same to yourself?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉


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