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In a world that constantly demands more of our time, it's crucial to find ways to keep your relationships strong amidst the chaos, ensuring that love and connection aren't left behind in the race for success.

Staying Close When Life Gets in the Way: How to Keep Your Relationships Strong Amidst the Chaos

In today’s fast-paced world, it's easy to feel like life is running at full speed while you're stuck in the race just trying to keep up. Between work, errands, social commitments, and the pressure of staying on top of everything, it often feels like there’s barely enough time to breathe, let alone nurture our relationships.


Whether it’s with a partner, friends, family, or even coworkers, relationships are vital for our mental well-being, yet they can sometimes feel like the first casualty of an over-packed schedule. So, how do we stay connected when life demands so much of our attention? How do we ensure the bonds we’ve worked hard to build don’t fray under the weight of everyday stress?


1. Quality Over Quantity: The Power of Small, Intentional Moments


We all know the ideal: long walks, deep conversations, weekend getaways. But the reality? It’s more likely that our calendar is packed with work deadlines and household chores. That’s where intentionality comes in. It’s not about the hours you spend, but the quality of the time you give. A quick text or a thoughtful note at the start of the day can be just as powerful as a long conversation. A 5-minute catch-up at the end of a busy workday can work wonders in keeping the connection alive.


Actionable Tip: Find a "daily ritual" — a 5-minute coffee break with a friend, a nightly “goodnight” text, or a moment to check in with your partner when the day’s chaos slows down. These mini connections will add up to a big impact.


2. Schedule It In: Don’t Rely on "Free Time"


If your week is so jam-packed that “spontaneous” time with others doesn’t happen, then don’t leave it to chance. Schedule it in like you would a meeting or an appointment. Block out time for a date night with your partner or a phone call with a friend. Treating these moments as non-negotiable will help ensure that your relationships aren’t sidelined by the demands of life.


Actionable Tip: Set a weekly “relationship date.” Whether it’s an hour for self-care with your partner or a Sunday lunch with friends, putting it on the calendar gives it the weight and importance it deserves.


3. Be Vulnerable and Honest About Your Time Constraints


Trying to juggle everything might make you feel disconnected, but often, what others truly need is honesty. Share with your loved ones how your schedule is overwhelming, but that you still want to make time for them. When we communicate our struggles openly, people are more likely to meet us with understanding and support, which keeps the relationship strong.


Actionable Tip: Express your challenges — tell your partner, “I’m really stretched thin right now, but I want to prioritize our time together.” Most people will appreciate your vulnerability and reciprocate with patience.


4. Use Technology to Bridge the Gap


If you can’t be physically present, technology is your best friend. Video calls, voice messages, and even simple text exchanges can keep you connected without needing to be in the same room. It’s not as intimate as face-to-face, but in a pinch, it works wonders in maintaining that closeness.


Actionable Tip: If you’re constantly on the go, send a voice note instead of a text — your partner or friend will hear the warmth in your voice, making the interaction feel more genuine.


5. Understand That It’s Okay to Fall Short


Life doesn’t always allow for perfection, and sometimes you will fall short in your relationships. The key is to recognize this and accept it without guilt. Relationships don’t require perfection—they require effort, understanding, and a willingness to show up in the small moments. If you're tired or overworked, it’s okay to say so.


Actionable Tip: Give yourself grace. If you miss a call or forget a date, don’t dwell on it. A simple apology and an effort to reschedule can keep things moving without a major setback.


6. Prioritize Self-Care to Be Present for Others


When you're stretched too thin, it's easy to feel like you have nothing left to give. That’s why prioritizing your own mental health and well-being is crucial—not only for yourself, but for the relationships you hold dear. A tired, burnt-out version of yourself has a much harder time giving energy to others. So, recharge when you need it.


Actionable Tip: Take breaks when needed, whether it's a quiet walk, meditation, or a moment of solitude to refresh your mind. You’ll come back to your relationships feeling more present and engaged.


The Key to Keeping It All Together


The key to maintaining relationships in the chaos of life is balance. While there will always be demands on your time, setting boundaries, staying intentional, and prioritizing what matters will help you remain emotionally present for those who matter most. It’s about staying flexible and understanding that sometimes, less really is more.


Eye-Opening Question: In the middle of life’s busyness, when was the last time you intentionally made time to truly connect with someone you care about?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 9

DBT group counseling provides trauma survivors with a supportive environment where they can learn valuable coping skills, such as emotional regulation and mindfulness, while connecting with others who share similar experiences. In these sessions, participants practice communication, boundary-setting, and emotional management techniques to foster healing and resilience.

Healing in Numbers: What a DBT Group Counseling Session for Trauma Clients Looks Like

Trauma can shape the way we experience the world, often leaving emotional scars that feel too deep to heal. For many people, the trauma they’ve endured can lead to a range of mental health issues—anxiety, depression, self-destructive behaviors, and intense emotional reactions. The road to healing is not a solitary one, and for trauma survivors, group counseling offers a unique blend of support, connection, and the learning of valuable skills. One of the most effective therapeutic modalities for trauma clients is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapy designed to help individuals navigate intense emotions, build healthier relationships, and develop coping strategies. But what does a DBT group counseling session look like when it's focused on trauma survivors?


1. Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment: DBT is rooted in the principle of radical acceptance—the idea that clients should accept themselves and their experiences without judgment. For trauma clients, this means creating a safe space where they can be vulnerable without fear of rejection or invalidation. The group facilitator sets the tone by emphasizing confidentiality, respect, and understanding. In a trauma-focused DBT group, trust is paramount.


The facilitator may begin by asking group members how they’re feeling that day, allowing space for everyone to check in. For trauma survivors, even the smallest triggers or stressors from the day may impact their emotions, so acknowledging how everyone feels sets the foundation for the session.


2. Focus on Emotional Regulation and Distress Tolerance: Trauma survivors often experience heightened emotional reactions that feel uncontrollable. DBT's core skills—emotional regulation and distress tolerance—are especially important for this group. In a session, the facilitator might introduce a skill such as the "TIP" skills (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing) to help manage overwhelming emotions. The group would practice these techniques together, with the facilitator guiding them through the process step by step.


For trauma survivors, these skills are more than just tools—they represent a new way to interact with and manage emotions that once felt unbearable. Through repeated practice, group members can begin to see that they have the power to control their emotional responses, a key step in healing from trauma.


3. Validating and Sharing Experiences: One of the greatest benefits of DBT group counseling is the shared experience. For trauma survivors, isolation is often a major part of their journey—whether from shame, guilt, or fear of judgment. Being in a group of people who understand what it's like to struggle with similar emotional pain can be incredibly healing. DBT groups encourage validation—a key skill in trauma work. Facilitators may ask group members to share their personal experiences with emotions like anger, sadness, or fear, and the group will validate those feelings with empathy.


For example, if someone shares that they are feeling triggered by a memory of their trauma, the group might respond with a simple, "I hear you," or, "That sounds really tough." This validation helps trauma clients feel understood and seen, allowing them to process their emotions without judgment.


4. Focus on Mindfulness and Grounding: DBT is known for its emphasis on mindfulness—the practice of being present in the moment without judgment. For trauma clients, mindfulness can help them reconnect with their bodies and their emotions in a safe, non-reactive way. The facilitator might lead the group in a short mindfulness exercise to help clients stay grounded in the present moment.


For instance, the facilitator could guide participants through a body scan, where each person is encouraged to notice how their body feels, focusing on areas of tension or discomfort. This helps trauma survivors become more aware of their physical reactions, often providing insight into emotional triggers and learning to manage them in real-time.


5. Skill-Building for Relationships: Trauma can severely affect how individuals relate to others, sometimes leading to patterns of avoidance or hyper-vigilance. DBT helps trauma survivors develop healthier interpersonal skills by teaching them how to communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and trust others. In a group setting, members might role-play different interpersonal scenarios, practicing techniques like assertiveness, active listening, and effective boundary-setting. These skills are not just theoretical; they are tools that can be applied immediately in real-life situations.


6. The Healing Power of Group Support: Perhaps the most important aspect of DBT group counseling for trauma clients is the sense of community. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when individuals come together to share their stories, support one another, and walk alongside each other in their healing journey. The group dynamic creates an environment of mutual support, where everyone feels both accountable and supported in their efforts to heal. The bonds that form in DBT groups can be incredibly powerful—providing members with a sense of belonging and understanding that they may have never experienced before.


Conclusion


A DBT group counseling session for trauma clients is more than just a therapeutic technique; it's a lifeline. It provides a safe space for survivors to work through the intense emotions that come with their experiences while offering the support of others who understand their struggles. DBT equips trauma survivors with the emotional regulation skills, mindfulness practices, and interpersonal strategies they need to move forward in their recovery. It allows them to feel seen, heard, and validated—and it helps them rebuild their sense of self and trust in others.


As we continue to evolve our understanding of trauma, we must ask ourselves: How can we create more spaces where trauma survivors can heal together, without feeling like they’re on this journey alone?


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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 8

Spotting teen depression involves recognizing subtle changes in behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities, sudden drops in academic performance, or frequent mood swings. Other signs may include sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, unexplained physical complaints, and expressions of hopelessness or self-harm.

How to Spot Teen Depression and Offer Real Help Without Pushing Them Away

Depression in teens is not just a phase, and it certainly doesn’t look like what you might expect. As a parent, teacher, or friend, you may be wondering: How do I know if a teen is struggling with depression? The truth is, it’s often hidden in plain sight. While many adults are aware of the symptoms of depression in adults—sadness, lack of energy, withdrawal—teen depression can be much more subtle and, at times, dangerously disguised as typical teen mood swings.


In the fast-paced, pressure-filled world teens inhabit today, depression can be masked behind a façade of social media selfies, academic pressures, and complex relationships. Teens may struggle silently, often because they’re unsure how to express what they’re feeling, or they fear they won’t be understood.


As they search for their identity, the emotional strain can pile up unnoticed. So, as parents, friends, and mentors, how can we recognize these struggles early, intervene effectively, and offer help that will actually make a difference?


The Silent Signs: How to Spot Teen Depression


  1. Sudden Behavioral Changes

    While teens are known for their mood swings, a noticeable and sudden shift in behavior can be a red flag. If a once social teen becomes reclusive, or if an academic high-achiever suddenly stops caring about their grades, depression might be the underlying cause.


  2. Changes in Sleep Patterns

    Depression often disturbs sleep. Some teens sleep excessively, trying to escape their emotions, while others may stay awake, overwhelmed by racing thoughts. Both extremes are concerning.


  3. Withdrawal from Social Life

    Teens who once thrived in social settings may retreat from friends and family. Withdrawal from extracurricular activities, hobbies, or even texting their friends can be an indication of depression creeping in.


  4. Physical Symptoms

    Depression doesn’t just affect the mind—it impacts the body. Teens may complain of headaches, stomach aches, or unexplained fatigue. Physical pain without a clear cause can be an emotional symptom, so it’s worth paying attention to.


  5. Increased Irritability or Anger

    Instead of sadness, many teens with depression experience irritability or anger. They may lash out at friends, family, or even themselves, which can often be misinterpreted as “attitude problems.”


  6. Changes in Eating Habits

    Major weight loss or gain, or an extreme change in appetite, is common. Some teens may overeat to numb their feelings, while others might lose interest in food altogether.


  7. Self-Harm or Talk of Death

    This is one of the most alarming signs of teen depression. Self-harm, like cutting or burning, is a coping mechanism used by some teens to deal with overwhelming emotions. Any mention of suicide or death, even in passing, should never be taken lightly.


How to Offer Help Without Overwhelming Them


As a friend or parent, offering help to a teen can feel like walking a fine line. Push too hard, and they might shut you out. Offer too little, and they may feel abandoned. So, how do you offer support without crossing that boundary?


  1. Start the Conversation Gently

    If you notice signs of depression, don’t immediately jump to a diagnosis or try to fix everything. Instead, gently ask them how they’re feeling. Use open-ended questions, like “I’ve noticed you seem a little down lately—how are you doing?” Avoid making it sound like an interrogation. Let them know you’re there, but give them space to respond in their own time.


  2. Listen, Don’t Lecture

    Teenagers don’t want to be told how to feel or what to do. Instead of offering solutions right away, listen actively. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply be there, without judgment. Validate their emotions by saying things like, “That sounds really tough, I can’t imagine how hard that must be.”


  3. Encourage, Don’t Push

    Instead of insisting they go see a therapist or start a new hobby, offer gentle encouragement. If they’re open to it, suggest activities that can help ease their mind, such as walking together or journaling. If therapy is something they might benefit from, gently suggest it and let them know you’ll support them no matter what.


  4. Be Patient and Consistent

    Offering help isn’t a one-time thing. Depression isn’t fixed overnight, and neither is the relationship between you and your teen. Keep the lines of communication open. Check in regularly, but do so in a way that’s not invasive. Let them know you care, and that you’re there when they’re ready to talk.


  5. Respect Their Independence

    Teenagers are at a stage where they’re trying to establish their independence. This means they may not want constant advice or attention, even if it comes from a place of love. Allow them to take small steps toward recovery at their own pace, but always reassure them you’re there if they need help.


  6. Seek Professional Support

    Sometimes, teens need help that goes beyond what friends and family can provide. If you suspect your teen is suffering from depression, consider seeking the help of a counselor or mental health professional who specializes in working with adolescents. Therapy and, in some cases, medication, can offer the structured support they need.


Why Teens Don’t Speak Up


The stigma around mental health still looms large, particularly among teens. They fear judgment, being misunderstood, or even disappointing their loved ones. They may also feel a sense of hopelessness that leads them to believe no one can help or that they’re “just being dramatic.” This internal conflict can silence them when they need help the most.

So, how can we break through this silence?


A Final Thought: Can You Be the One to Save Them?


The truth is, we can’t always prevent a teen from struggling with depression, but we can make a difference by creating a safe space where they feel heard and supported. By spotting the signs early, reaching out in a non-judgmental way, and encouraging them to seek professional help when necessary, we can provide a lifeline during their darkest moments.


But here’s the most pressing question: Are you ready to be that lifeline for the teens in your life—without pushing them away in the process?


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