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The Silence Between the Cracks: What Are We Still Missing About Suicide?

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Sep 2

Suicide awareness is not just about recognizing the signs—it's about creating a culture where people feel safe enough to be seen, heard, and helped. Increasing suicide awareness means challenging silence, breaking stigma, and reminding others that their lives have value even when they can’t see it themselves.

The Silence Between the Cracks: What Are We Still Missing About Suicide?

It’s easy to spot a broken arm. A fever. A bleeding wound. But emotional pain doesn’t show up on an X-ray.


Every year, millions struggle silently with suicidal thoughts—many of them never saying a word, even to those closest to them. While awareness campaigns, crisis hotlines, and school programs have increased over the years, the numbers remain sobering: over 700,000 people die by suicide globally each year, according to the World Health Organization. And for every death, there are countless others who attempt or contemplate it.


So what are we still missing?



The Myths That Keep Us Quiet


One of the most dangerous beliefs is that talking about suicide puts the idea into someone's head. The truth? Talking about it—openly, calmly, and without judgment—can save a life. Research shows that when we ask people directly if they’re thinking about suicide, we open the door for connection, not destruction.


Another myth? That only people with diagnosed mental illness are at risk. In reality, suicide can affect anyone—those with chronic depression, yes, but also people facing acute grief, shame, relationship breakdowns, or financial ruin. Sometimes, it’s not a long battle with depression that leads to suicide—it’s a single overwhelming moment when hope disappears.


The Illusion of “Fine”


People who are suicidal often learn to wear the mask well. They go to work. They take care of their families. They say they’re “fine.”


But suicide is not about wanting to die—it’s often about not wanting to live with the pain. Many just want the suffering to end, not life itself. If we can be brave enough to ask the deeper questions—"How are you, really?"—we may begin to catch more of the signs before it’s too late.


How We Show Up Matters


You don’t have to be a therapist to make a difference. Sometimes, being a consistent, nonjudgmental presence is the most powerful thing you can offer. Show up. Check in. Listen. And take people seriously—even if their pain doesn’t look like your version of it.


Don’t say, “You have so much to live for.” Say, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Don’t try to fix it. Try to understand it.


And if you're the one struggling: You are not weak. You are not a burden. You are not alone.



Hope Isn’t Just a Word—It’s a Lifeline


Suicide prevention isn’t just about crisis moments. It’s about building a culture where people feel safe being vulnerable. Where emotional pain is treated with the same urgency as physical pain. Where we check in with people before they reach the edge.


Because here's the truth: suicide isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s hidden in the quiet withdrawal, the missed texts, the smiles that don’t reach the eyes.


So we must ask:


How many people are suffering in silence right now—because we haven’t made it safe for them to speak?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



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When Life Isn’t Fair: How to Manage the Pain Without Adding More Suffering

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Aug 3

Learning to manage the pain without adding more suffering means allowing yourself to feel hurt without letting it spiral into self-blame or resentment. When we pause, name our emotions, and choose mindful responses.

When Life Isn’t Fair: How to Manage the Pain Without Adding More Suffering

You did everything right—and still got passed over. Someone talked down to you, dismissed your contributions, or treated you like your feelings didn’t matter. Whether it’s in the workplace, in family dynamics, or in everyday social situations, unfair treatment stings. It triggers a deep, visceral reaction in us, and that’s completely human. But what happens next—the way we respond to that pain—can either heal us or trap us in a cycle of suffering. The good news? We have more power than we think.


The Hidden Cost of Unfairness


When we’re wronged, our bodies and minds react quickly. Maybe your heart pounds, your fists clench, or your thoughts spiral with “what I should’ve said.” Unfairness can feel like a personal violation, shaking our sense of security or self-worth. And while those initial feelings—anger, shame, sadness—are valid, they often give way to something more damaging: chronic resentment, self-doubt, or even hopelessness. Over time, the unfair moment itself ends, but we carry the emotional weight of it far longer than necessary. We replay conversations, invent better comebacks, or internalize the mistreatment as evidence that we’re not enough. That’s the cost of unchecked pain—it lingers and hardens into suffering.


Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional.


It’s a tough truth: pain is part of life. But suffering? That’s optional. In both Buddhist psychology and evidence-based approaches like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), there’s a key idea—pain becomes suffering when we resist it, judge it, or attach a narrative to it that fuels distress. For instance, feeling angry about being left out is normal. But telling yourself “No one ever includes me, I’m not worth anyone’s time” turns pain into prolonged emotional suffering. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t feel our emotions—but it does mean we can choose how we relate to them. Accepting the reality of an unfair moment doesn’t mean endorsing it—it means refusing to give it more control than it already took.



Name the Emotion, Then Feel It


When emotions feel too big or overwhelming, it’s tempting to shut them down or numb out. But what we resist tends to persist. The first step toward healing is acknowledgment: naming the feeling with compassion. Instead of shoving it aside or letting it explode outward, simply say to yourself, “I feel disappointed.” Or “I feel hurt and confused.” Giving the emotion a name helps it lose some of its power, and naming it without judgment creates space to process it. It may feel uncomfortable to sit with these feelings, but remember: emotions are meant to move. When we let ourselves truly feel them, they tend to pass through us more gently than we expect.


Interrupt the Story You’re Telling Yourself


Our minds are natural storytellers—and not always kind ones. After experiencing unfairness, we often create internal narratives like, “This always happens to me,” or “I should have seen this coming,” or “They win if I let this go.” These thoughts are understandable, but they’re also not facts. These mental loops keep us stuck in old pain and rob us of the peace we’re trying to reclaim. One helpful strategy is to pause and ask, “Is this story helping me heal, or keeping me stuck?” If it’s the latter, consider rewriting it. Instead of “I’m always overlooked,” try, “That situation was unfair, but I know my worth is not defined by that moment.”


Respond, Don’t React


When we’re in pain, the urge to react can feel overwhelming—lashing out, shutting down, or seeking revenge. But reaction often leads to regret. Response, on the other hand, comes from a place of reflection and choice. A helpful tool from DBT is the STOP skill: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. It gives you time to cool down and decide what action actually serves your well-being. Maybe that means setting a boundary, writing about your feelings, or calling a friend for support. When you pause, you put yourself back in control.



Let Go to Liberate Yourself


Letting go is often misunderstood. It doesn’t mean pretending the pain didn’t happen. It means refusing to let it define your future. When you release the need for closure, fairness, or revenge, you reclaim your energy. Forgiveness—when and if it’s right for you—is not about excusing harm. It’s about creating freedom from the emotional grip that event or person has on your life. Letting go might look like choosing peace over rehashing the situation, or gently redirecting your thoughts when they drift back to the pain. You deserve more than to live in a loop of injustice.


Final Thought


Unfairness hurts, and you deserve to have your feelings acknowledged and honored. But you also deserve healing. And healing doesn’t come from winning every battle—it comes from learning how to tend to yourself in the aftermath. You can face injustice without letting it live inside you forever.


Eye-Opening Question:


When you’re treated unfairly, do you stay in the moment—or carry it with you for days, weeks, even years? What might it feel like to finally put it down?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



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When Family Is Absent: The Silent Toll of Lack of Family Support on Mental Health and How to Thrive Despite It

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 16, 2024

Family support plays a crucial role in mental health, providing emotional stability and a sense of belonging. However, when that support is lacking or toxic, it can significantly impact one’s well-being, making it even more important to seek alternative sources of encouragement and self-care.

When Family Is Absent: The Silent Toll of Lack of Family Support on Mental Health and How to Thrive Despite It

Family is often considered a foundation for emotional stability—a group of people who should be there to provide comfort, guidance, and unconditional love. But for many, family isn’t a source of solace. For some, it’s a source of deep emotional pain, neglect, or even abuse. The lack of family support can have profound effects on mental health, leading to feelings of isolation, low self-worth, anxiety, and depression.


When family is absent, emotionally distant, or toxic, it creates an emotional void that can be incredibly difficult to fill. However, it’s important to remember that even without a solid family support system, it’s still possible to maintain good mental health. With the right mindset, strategies, and support, individuals can learn to heal, grow, and find strength from within.


The Impact of Lack of Family Support on Mental Health


1. Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness


Example: Sarah's Struggle


Sarah grew up in a family where emotional support was minimal. Her parents were critical and emotionally distant, never offering words of affirmation or encouragement. As an adult, she found herself surrounded by friends and coworkers, but the sense of loneliness never truly went away. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. Sarah often found herself comparing her own situation to others, who had close-knit, supportive families. The loneliness she felt wasn’t just physical; it was an emotional emptiness that no number of friends could fill.


Impact on Mental Health:


Without family support, individuals can feel isolated, even when they are surrounded by people. This emotional isolation can lead to chronic loneliness, which has been linked to an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.


2. Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth


Example: John's Journey


John’s parents never expressed pride or affection toward him, even when he achieved significant milestones in his life. Whether it was academic success or personal accomplishments, his achievements were met with indifference. Over time, John began to internalize the belief that he wasn’t worthy of love or validation. Even in his adult life, he struggled with accepting praise or love from others because he didn’t believe he deserved it.


Impact on Mental Health:


A lack of family support can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Without the emotional validation that comes from family, it’s easy for people to feel like they’re not good enough or not worthy of love. This can create a cycle of negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, and emotional pain.


3. Increased Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment


Example: Jessica's Struggle with Anxiety


Jessica’s parents were emotionally unavailable and often critical of her choices, causing her to develop a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Even in her adult relationships, she would find herself constantly worried that people would leave her or stop caring, even when there was no indication of this. Her anxiety would spiral whenever someone close to her seemed distant or busy, leading to feelings of panic and insecurity.


Impact on Mental Health:


When family is emotionally unavailable or neglectful, it can lead to chronic anxiety, particularly around relationships. The fear of abandonment becomes more pronounced, and this can contribute to relationship problems, social anxiety, and emotional distress.


4. Depression and Emotional Numbness


Example: Mark’s Depression


Mark had always felt unsupported by his family, who never seemed to acknowledge or validate his emotional struggles. As a result, he grew up learning to suppress his feelings, believing that they weren’t worth sharing. However, as an adult, Mark found himself sinking into deep depression. He felt emotionally numb most of the time and struggled to find joy in anything. Despite being surrounded by friends, Mark couldn’t shake the feeling that his family’s emotional neglect had left a lasting mark on his sense of self and ability to experience happiness.


Impact on Mental Health:


The absence of emotional support can contribute to feelings of worthlessness and emotional numbness. People who lack family support often feel like their emotions are invalid or unimportant, which can contribute to chronic depression. Without the ability to express feelings and receive comfort, it becomes more difficult to find relief from emotional pain.


How to Protect and Improve Your Mental Health Without Family Support


While the lack of family support can be deeply painful, it doesn’t mean that healing and growth are impossible. People can still thrive and maintain good mental health, even in the absence of family support, by building resilience and finding alternative sources of emotional fulfillment.


1. Create a Chosen Family


Sarah's Story of Building a Chosen Family


Despite feeling disconnected from her biological family, Sarah gradually began to form her own "chosen family." She surrounded herself with friends who offered unconditional support, love, and validation. These relationships gave her the emotional security she had longed for. Over time, Sarah realized that chosen family could be just as powerful—if not more so—than biological family.


Actionable Tip: Focus on building close, supportive relationships with people who value you. Whether it’s friends, mentors, or even colleagues, you can create a support system that helps fulfill your emotional needs.


2. Therapy and Professional Support


John's Experience with Therapy


John found that therapy helped him understand the emotional neglect he had experienced growing up. With the guidance of a counselor, John was able to begin re-building his sense of self-worth. Therapy also helped him develop healthier coping mechanisms and learn how to form secure, trusting relationships in adulthood.


Actionable Tip: Seeking therapy is a great way to address the trauma caused by lack of family support. A therapist can help you process your emotions, build self-esteem, and develop tools to navigate relationships more effectively.


3. Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Care


Jessica's Path to Self-Compassion


After years of anxiety and emotional turmoil, Jessica decided to focus on taking care of herself. She practiced self-compassion by reminding herself that her emotions were valid, and she started incorporating self-care routines into her daily life—whether it was through exercise, journaling, or spending time doing things she loved. Over time, this helped her feel more emotionally balanced and less dependent on others for validation.


Actionable Tip: Start building a self-care routine that prioritizes your mental well-being. This could include physical activities, meditation, journaling, or any other activities that help you connect with yourself and boost your emotional health.


4. Establish Healthy Boundaries


Mark’s Boundaries with Toxic Family Members


Mark’s depression worsened whenever he interacted with his toxic family. After years of emotional neglect, he decided to set clear boundaries with them, reducing contact to only the most necessary interactions. This decision helped alleviate some of the emotional burden he carried. As Mark distanced himself from toxic relationships, he began to reclaim his emotional health and focus on relationships that were healthy and supportive.


Actionable Tip: Establish clear boundaries with family members who contribute to your emotional pain. This might involve limiting contact or cutting ties altogether. Protecting your peace is essential for mental health.


5. Engage in Personal Growth and Hobbies


Mark’s Journey to Personal Growth


Mark realized that part of his healing process was reconnecting with his passions. He started taking art classes, which helped him express his emotions in new ways. As he immersed himself in creative pursuits, he began to rediscover joy and meaning in his life, separate from his family’s influence.


Actionable Tip: Explore new hobbies and activities that nurture your creativity, personal growth, and sense of accomplishment. This will not only distract you from negative thoughts but also empower you to build a sense of fulfillment independent of family validation.


Conclusion: Thriving Without Family Support


While the absence of family support can undoubtedly be painful, it is not an insurmountable barrier to living a healthy, fulfilling life. By building a strong support network, seeking professional help, setting healthy boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, anyone can protect and improve their mental health—even when their biological family isn’t there for them.


You are worthy of love, care, and support. And even if your family hasn’t been able to provide that, remember that it’s still possible to build a fulfilling life with the right tools and mindset. Take one step at a time, and trust that healing is not only possible—it’s within your reach.


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