7 Tips To Stay Emotionally Connected With Your Partner During The First Year Of Your Baby's Life
Your newborn is cute and all, but let's not forget the person who helped bring them here.
First-time parent... this title still feels new to me. Never would I have known how hectic life could truly be until my son was born. I mean, it was like my whole world had changed, literally, in one day. Very quickly I began to envy people who have help from their family. To be fair, it's not like I don't have help at all. I have my husband, which is a great set of helping hands. The thing is, before the baby arrived, our thoughts were always of each other; now if not all the time, most of the time our thoughts are of the baby. So how do you stay connected emotionally when time is tight and tough at times? Well, here are a few tricks I've learnt thus far.
Tip #1 - Tell them you love them
Telling your partner you love them is always the quickest, most obvious expression of love you can give them. Especially when you've been overwhelmed by having to take care of the baby all day, hearing that sentimental "I love you" could very well mean more than just words to the receiver. It not only is heartwarming to hear but often it's that much needed reassurance of you are there for one another after a long day of too busy to even stop to ask about the other person's day.
Tip #2 - Kiss and hug them
You might think you are simply too busy to care for anyone else when your new love, your baby, is constantly needing your attention. But when you REALLY think about it, stopping even just for a few seconds at a time and devoting that time to your partner is simple respect. Take a moment to kiss and hug them, or even reach out your hands for them to hold onto for a minute can be a symbol of love in itself. Imagine when you get frustrated with your new parenting life, a simple physical expression of love like a peck on your cheek is much more effective than you may think.
Tip #3 - Sex
A lot of people, married people, think sex before they had kids was fun and exciting, but once your first baby is born all of that excitement dies away. That isn't necessarily true. Sex isn't just all fun and games to begin with, at least to me and my husband. It has always meant a deeper level of connection whenever we do the deed. I mean, that's probably the closest you and your partner can ever be distance wise. So don't underestimate the power of sex, sometimes a quickie is all it takes to maintain that passionate fire that's been temporarily set aside after the initial months of diaper changing business.
Tip #4 - Write them a love note
If you are not so much of a direct communicator, writing down how you feel for your partner to read is equally as sweet and appreciated. My husband does this often, and it comes as a life saver for me whenever I have a long frustrating day of just being a mom. It shows that he cares about me despite how hectic our life has become. Plus, putting down his "love" on a piece of paper allows me to go back as many times to read it as I want. Sometimes that's the only thing that lifts my spirit when I'm down.
... hearing that sentimental "I love you" could very well mean more than just words ...
Tip #5 - Surprise them with a little gesture
Thanks to same-day grocery delivery, it's so much easier to get things delivered to your door in a matter of 2 hours. This makes surprising your partner a much easier thing to achieve. Putting their favorite candy bar or a new pair of silly looking socks in your cart just to brighten your partner's day when they unpack the grocery bag is well worth it. Plus, it really just takes a few seconds to do and then you can go back to tend to your baby.
Tip #6 - Make up quickly
It's easy to get into dumb fights when you are exhausted from taking care of your baby all day and every day. Often when fights turn into wars, it's tempting to want a break and give each other the silent treatment. While taking a moment to cool off is perfectly fine and in fact encouraged, don't ever stay mad at each other for long. Remember you love your partner and being together is much better than being apart. So if you are able to be the bigger person, go and make up straight away. If you can't be the bigger person right now, consider it again in 10 minutes.
Tip #7 - Forgive, forgive, forgive
Being a first-time parent is no joke. It's probably one of the biggest tasks you have to conquer. So if you feel your partner is not up to par, or if they disagree with your parenting style, always forgive them. You are not perfect either, you have to remember. So try to talk it out with them and approach problems with a goal to understand each other. This grown-up stuff is hard and physically and emotionally demanding. It would mean the world to your partner if you could allow them room for improvement, which is something that goes both ways.
Final thoughts
Taking care of a new baby is not easy especially when it's your first. Always remember you and your partner is a team, and don't forget how you guys got to this point (you are each other's biggest supporter! Or at least should be). So be thankful and nice to each other and always aim to connect with one another throughout even the busiest of days. Your baby will one day appreciate how lovey-dovey you are as they get older.
Julie Y. Barris
Founder | Chief Editor | Advice Guru of Moody Melon Magazine
I am an author, artist, entrepreneur, and a graphic designer with a unique vision to contribute to the world one idea at a time. Besides creating and inventing things, I’m also fascinated by the human mind. I enjoy helping others help themselves by giving them advice on family and relationship matters.
