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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Sep 2

Suicide awareness is not just about recognizing the signs—it's about creating a culture where people feel safe enough to be seen, heard, and helped. Increasing suicide awareness means challenging silence, breaking stigma, and reminding others that their lives have value even when they can’t see it themselves.

The Silence Between the Cracks: What Are We Still Missing About Suicide?

It’s easy to spot a broken arm. A fever. A bleeding wound. But emotional pain doesn’t show up on an X-ray.


Every year, millions struggle silently with suicidal thoughts—many of them never saying a word, even to those closest to them. While awareness campaigns, crisis hotlines, and school programs have increased over the years, the numbers remain sobering: over 700,000 people die by suicide globally each year, according to the World Health Organization. And for every death, there are countless others who attempt or contemplate it.


So what are we still missing?



The Myths That Keep Us Quiet


One of the most dangerous beliefs is that talking about suicide puts the idea into someone's head. The truth? Talking about it—openly, calmly, and without judgment—can save a life. Research shows that when we ask people directly if they’re thinking about suicide, we open the door for connection, not destruction.


Another myth? That only people with diagnosed mental illness are at risk. In reality, suicide can affect anyone—those with chronic depression, yes, but also people facing acute grief, shame, relationship breakdowns, or financial ruin. Sometimes, it’s not a long battle with depression that leads to suicide—it’s a single overwhelming moment when hope disappears.


The Illusion of “Fine”


People who are suicidal often learn to wear the mask well. They go to work. They take care of their families. They say they’re “fine.”


But suicide is not about wanting to die—it’s often about not wanting to live with the pain. Many just want the suffering to end, not life itself. If we can be brave enough to ask the deeper questions—"How are you, really?"—we may begin to catch more of the signs before it’s too late.


How We Show Up Matters


You don’t have to be a therapist to make a difference. Sometimes, being a consistent, nonjudgmental presence is the most powerful thing you can offer. Show up. Check in. Listen. And take people seriously—even if their pain doesn’t look like your version of it.


Don’t say, “You have so much to live for.” Say, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Don’t try to fix it. Try to understand it.


And if you're the one struggling: You are not weak. You are not a burden. You are not alone.



Hope Isn’t Just a Word—It’s a Lifeline


Suicide prevention isn’t just about crisis moments. It’s about building a culture where people feel safe being vulnerable. Where emotional pain is treated with the same urgency as physical pain. Where we check in with people before they reach the edge.


Because here's the truth: suicide isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s hidden in the quiet withdrawal, the missed texts, the smiles that don’t reach the eyes.


So we must ask:


How many people are suffering in silence right now—because we haven’t made it safe for them to speak?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



More Related Articles:

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Aug 30

The illusion of control can make us believe we're protecting ourselves from chaos, when in reality, we're just exhausting ourselves trying to manage the unmanageable. Many trauma survivors cling to the illusion of control as a way to feel safe, not realizing that true healing begins when they start to let go.

The Illusion of Control: What Are You Really Holding Onto?

We live in a world that glorifies control. We monitor our calories, track our sleep, plan our careers, and curate our lives online with precision. The message is clear: the more control you have, the more successful, safe, and worthy you are.


But here’s the reality—control is often a coping mechanism, not a solution. And learning to let go of it might just be the most radical act of healing you ever undertake.


The Root Beneath the Need: Trauma and Control


Let’s get honest: the need to control doesn’t come from nowhere. It often has deep, emotional roots—especially in childhood trauma.


When a child grows up in an environment that is unpredictable, chaotic, neglectful, or abusive, they don’t just learn that the world is unsafe—they internalize that they must manage the chaos to survive it. Whether that meant reading a parent’s mood before speaking, hiding their needs to avoid punishment, or being “perfect” to receive love, control became a tool for safety.



These early survival strategies are adaptive—they serve a purpose. But as we grow into adulthood, those same patterns can become maladaptive, driving anxiety, perfectionism, emotional suppression, and even relational difficulties.


We stop reacting to the present moment and instead live in a state of hypervigilance, trying to anticipate and manage every possible threat—even when the danger is long gone.


Control, then, becomes a kind of armor:


  • If I can control everything, nothing can hurt me.

  • If I get it all right, no one will leave.

  • If I stay busy, I won’t have to feel.


But what begins as protection can quietly turn into imprisonment.


The Hidden Toll of Staying in Control


Over time, living in a control-driven state takes a toll:


  • Chronic stress and anxiety

  • Disconnection from intuition and emotion

  • Inflexibility in relationships and routines

  • Fear of change or uncertainty

  • An inability to ask for help or trust others


What’s worse, it often reinforces shame: Why can’t I relax? Why do I always feel on edge? When, in truth, these are not personality flaws—they’re the echoes of trauma.


Letting Go as a Form of Healing


Letting go of control doesn’t mean becoming careless or passive. It means making the conscious decision to stop living from a place of fear and start living from a place of trust. This is not easy work. For someone with a trauma history, surrendering control can feel like walking into the fire. But with time, therapy, support, and inner work, it becomes possible to:


  • Identify the original wounds that created the need for control

  • Develop nervous system regulation tools (breathwork, grounding, etc.)

  • Rebuild trust in yourself and safe people

  • Shift from reaction to response

  • Learn that safety can come from within, not from managing everything outside of you


Healing doesn’t require us to be in control. It asks us to be present, curious, and compassionate with the parts of ourselves that once had no choice.



The Wisdom of Surrender


There is power in choosing to loosen your grip. In allowing space for uncertainty. In practicing self-compassion when old patterns rise. In learning to trust that you can navigate what life brings—even when it doesn’t go according to plan.


Letting go of control is not weakness. It’s an act of courage. It’s a statement that says: I no longer need to protect myself from a past that isn’t happening anymore.


Eye-Opening Question:


If your need for control was born from a time when you had no safety—what might healing look like if you gave yourself permission to feel safe now?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



More Related Articles:

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Aug 24

Help your child feel safe by staying calm and offering simple, reassuring words after any intense argument. Your presence, not your perfection, is what will help your child feel safe again.

When Love Gets Loud: How to Help Your Child Feel Safe After a Heated Argument

No matter how much we love our children, no home is completely free of conflict. Tension rises, voices get loud, and in the heat of a moment, things can be said or done that leave not just the adults feeling overwhelmed — but the children, too.


If you’ve ever looked into your child’s eyes after a blowout argument and wondered, “Did I just hurt them emotionally?”, you’re not alone — and it’s not too late to repair.


In fact, how you respond after a rupture is often more important than the rupture itself.

Let’s explore how to help your child find their emotional footing again when the ground beneath them has shaken.



First, Let’s Acknowledge the Impact


Even if your child was quiet during the argument — or seemed distracted — their nervous system was paying close attention.


  • They may not fully understand what was said, but they felt the tone.

  • They might not remember every word, but they remember how it felt: scary, loud, unpredictable.

  • For little ones, especially under age 7, these moments can register as emotional danger — even if no one was yelling at them.


This does not mean your child is doomed. It means they’ll need your help finding safety again.


1. Re-Regulate Yourself First


Before you go to your child, pause.Breathe.Shake it out. Ground yourself — even just a little.

Children borrow their sense of safety from the adult in the room. If you come in dysregulated (panicked, angry, weepy), they may absorb that too.


You don’t need to be perfect. Just present enough to say:

“I’m okay now. You’re okay now. I’m here.”

2. Reassure with Simple, Honest Words


Kids need two things after conflict:


  • Reassurance

  • Context that doesn’t overwhelm


Say something like:

“Mommy and Daddy were having a really big argument. It got too loud, and I know that might have felt scary. But you are safe, and you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Keep it age-appropriate. Don’t over-explain. Don’t make your child your therapist. Your goal is emotional clarity, not justification.


3. Repair What You Can — Without Forcing Forgiveness


If the argument involved name-calling, door-slamming, or visible distress, your child may need repair not just from you, but between you and your partner.


Even a short gesture like a shared hug, or a sentence like:

“We got really mad, but we’re working on listening to each other better,” can help soften what they witnessed.

But don’t fake peace. Children feel falseness. Only show repair that’s real — even if it’s small.


4. Look for Signs of Residual Stress


After a big argument, your child might:


  • Become clingier

  • Struggle to sleep

  • Seem more reactive or withdrawn

  • Ask repetitive questions about the fight or the parent who walked away


These are nervous system responses — not bad behavior. Respond with extra gentleness. More cuddles. A little more flexibility. And lots of permission to feel.



5. Create a Culture of Emotional Recovery


A single argument won’t define your child — but repeated emotional instability without repair can.


Start weaving in routines that teach emotional recovery:


  • “We had a tough day — what helped you feel better?”

  • “What can we do next time when we feel big feelings?”

  • “Even when we argue, we always come back to love.”


You’re not just fixing the moment. You’re teaching your child resilience, relational safety, and trust in emotional repair.


Final Thought


Conflict isn’t what breaks children — disconnection without repair is.


You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to show up afterward and say:

“That was hard. I see how it affected you. Let’s find safety together again.”

Eye-Opening Question: When your child looks to you after chaos, do they find someone reacting to guilt — or someone committed to rebuilding safety?


💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?


Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉



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